Please help with maitre'd tipping question

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Posted by JB1122

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Posted by JessesGirl

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Posted by cbcf

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Posted by JessesGirl

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Posted by cbcf

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Posted by bluekat16

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Posted by kristin597

See this is what I was thinking originally, like $3-4 per person, maybe a bit more if I really felt that he was great. My RH told me that they 'recommend' giving $1000

My FH thought I was having a stroke bc I could barely speak, lol.

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R u kidding me!!! I'm getting married at JT and def. NOT giving $1000 for the maitre'd.

I'm having 175-200 people at my wedding and I had budgeted $500-$550., which is almost $3pp The bridal attendant I'm thinking of tipping $150-$200.

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yeah definitely NOT giving a $1000 either. They don't need nor deserve $1000 for what they do. I know they work hard, but come on they aren't serving every table the food etc. like the waiters are.

But I guess I am going to start $2.50-3.00 per person and then go from there if they are great that night.

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You're joking, right? They don't NEED or DESERVE that much for what they do??? Just so you know, the Maitre'd absolutely DOES NOT keep the entire tip. In fact, they keep a fraction and they often have to 'pay out' the bartenders and waitstaff at the end of the night. My FH has been a maitre'd in the past and I've seen how exhausting weddings are for them. It is disgusting to me how people just assume that they are keeping the whole thing and these poor guys who are working so hard for YOUR WEDDING pay the price.

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WELL..... That is just MY OPINION From speaking with my 2 sisters who worked for a long time at a RH hall and one of my sisters was a bridal attendant and almost was a maitre'd she just wasn't old enough according to them to be one. And she was very good friends with the maitre'd she worked with at her hall so she knew ALOT about it. And even my sister said they don't deserve $1000 as a tip. And only do SOME halls have the maitre'd split their tip with the bartenders!!! But I do know they split it with the BM. but still I shouldn't be told what to give them and they shouldn't expect it.

And I understand they do a lot for the wedding. but seeing the work my sisters had to do the hours they put in and what other things besides serving food that they had to do NO I DON'T BELIEVE THE MAITRE'D DESERVES $1000 and the wait staff NOTHING!!!!!! I know they get paid a salary but believe me it is NOT good and most waitstaff do not get tipped (my sisters maybe came home 10x with tips in the 3 1/2 years they worked at that one RH.)

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Maybe back in 1990 the MD kept the whole tip but I can assure you they all split it now. Maybe you don't realize the stress involved in managing these waiters (most are kids out of college and dont give a sh*% about your wedding... just about when their next smoke break is)... its the MD who goes and finds them to get you the service you have at your wedding... its the MD who is there hours before you even take your 1st picture getting your room ready... following all little instructions on how many bells to put on each chair and the angles they want the number frames facing the exact lighting, all the do's and dont's. And that's not including making sure Uncle Mel gets a vegeterian meal and there is no salt on Aunt Marges fish, knowing when to stop the DJ based on the flow of the party... when and how to cut your cake... most people have no clue and think they just stand there like idiots... and how about dealing with all your drunk guests and their nonsense...

THE MD makes sure your entire night is flawless Just seeing them smiling in the room and waving their hands around to waitstaff to tell them when to serve and pick up food is about 3 % of what they do durning the 12 hour shift.... If everyone gave the MD $2 a head, weddings will be ruined b/c no MD wants to work for such a meager amount. You get one chance at that day going perfect and its the MDs job to make that happen! If your day is great , its because of him not because a waitor brought out your families food and brought Uncle Charlie steak sauce when he asked for it!

And dont be fooled, they get paid a decent hourly rate & get tipped out my the MD and alot of times by your own guests and you never even know about it. Here's an idea, why don't you work as MD ... see how stressful it is and then come on here and tell me they dont earn that money... which they have to give 3 quarters of away! Since the MD is held accountable if your wedding goes wrong then he should be compensated equally.

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I think you're speaking from a very limited point of view - the view of someone who worked at whatever hall your FH works/worked at. I confronted my BM and asked her about the tips - my MD's tip is NOT split w/the BM or the wait staff or anyone else - it is for the MD who splits that tip with her personal MD assistant. The bridal attendant is tipped separately. Those are the only two people who work at Land's End that need to be tipped independently. Land's End suggested $2-$4 per person and they said it is entirely based on how I feel about it. They didn't even make the suggestion until I asked.

Bottom line - I think it works differently at each place. While the place your FH worked might have forced them to split his tip with everyone, that's not the case everywhere else. And as far as the fact that MDs wouldn't work if they only got tipped $2/head...that's BS. Brides wouldn't be able to get married if every single bride no matter her circumstances was forced to tip at least $1k.

You tip what you CAN. You don't break your bank to give a tip. If you only tip $500 (LIKE I AM DOING) then that is a good tipped based on your circumstances. As I shell out $10k in a final payment to my hall - it feels near impossible to come up with an additional $1k, and I can't do it so I'm not going to do it. PERIOD.

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OMG I NEVER SAID $1,000!!!!!!! My only point was that they deserve more than $2 a head if they do a good job!!!! Beaause a lot of times the house makes them split the tip or give most of it to them to split. Yes, I am speaking from one halls point of view but it is a VERY popular LI hall so my point is just as valid.

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Posted by cbcf


Not all halls are the same so we all have to ask!!! But I do still think tipping them $1000 for one night is ridiculous!! I am giving what I can and not breaking the bank for it. They are just doing their job and if they do a great one then I will definitely tip them more. And my wedding definitely would be just as fine if my maitre'd wasnt there because I trust my hall in general to make it so.

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I totally agree not all Rh's are the same and it's up to us to ask. However, my FH's niece works at a LI RH...which I will not name as she still works there. She told me that they do not see ANY tips from the MD or otherwise. We're getting 20% added on for gratuity..in my case that's about $3500 for gratuity. then on top of that we have to tipe the MD and BA seperately, which one would think would be covered by the additional 20% added on. Regardless, I do think the MD and BA should be tipped.

However, $1000 is too much for one night as a tip for someone who is performing a job function that they were hired to do and are doing. It's one thing to tip, and to tip generously, especially if someone is doing a great job...it's a whole other thing to over-tip beyond what is reasonable. $1000 is un-reasonable IMO.

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Posted by Jacquelyn

Arn't they getting paid regaurdles!!!! Why do we have to tip them on top of that
This makes me so mad to know that i'am paying all this $$ to the hall and then thay want us to tip these people on top of the hundreds of dollars we are already given them! I say we all jsut say F**k it LOL and give $100 to the maitre'd's. We'll start a new trend! LMAO

anybody with me

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Well alot of ppl who work in this industry live off of tips. Especially when you think of the waiters/waitresses, anybody who works doing that is basically making a living off of tips bc they would not be able to survive off their salary. Even in restaurants its that way. I know someone who was a waiter and he used to make $15 a day salary and the rest was ALL tips. I waitressed when i was 18 years old for a short period of time and let me say sometimes you can bust your a** all day and come home with almost nothing.

My shifts were always 12 hours, this is how this place was and many places are like this. At the end of the night we had to put all our tips together, then every waitress would get an equal amount, but we also had to give a percentage to the busboys. I remember one day working 12 hours and at the end of the night going home with $40 bc it was a slow night.

I think these people should be tipped for their services. But tip what you feel comfortable with and also should be based on the service they provided you. I think Rh's have different ways of doing things, they dont all follow the same rules. Some RH's they maitre'd won't keep the whole tip they are given. I know at my RH it was split with the banquet manager, and to me that makes sense considering the bm was the one who first saw us, then when we came back to book sat with us and wrote up the contract. THen for the year and a half until my wedding he was the one that i went to with anything, also when i had to make payments. When i called for a request or a question he is the one who helped me. I dont know how its split, maybe 60-40 or 70-30 who knows.

Yes we are paying alot of money for our weddings, but the payments we make go to the RH, not every employee that will work at our wedding that day.

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by Jacquelyn

Arn't they getting paid regaurdles!!!! Why do we have to tip them on top of that
This makes me so mad to know that i'am paying all this $$ to the hall and then thay want us to tip these people on top of the hundreds of dollars we are already given them! I say we all jsut say F**k it LOL and give $100 to the maitre'd's. We'll start a new trend! LMAO

anybody with me

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Well alot of ppl who work in this industry live off of tips. Especially when you think of the waiters/waitresses, anybody who works doing that is basically making a living off of tips bc they would not be able to survive off their salary. Even in restaurants its that way. I know someone who was a waiter and he used to make $15 a day salary and the rest was ALL tips. I waitressed when i was 18 years old for a short period of time and let me say sometimes you can bust your a** all day and come home with almost nothing.

My shifts were always 12 hours, this is how this place was and many places are like this. At the end of the night we had to put all our tips together, then every waitress would get an equal amount, but we also had to give a percentage to the busboys. I remember one day working 12 hours and at the end of the night going home with $40 bc it was a slow night.

I think these people should be tipped for their services. But tip what you feel comfortable with and also should be based on the service they provided you. I think Rh's have different ways of doing things, they dont all follow the same rules. Some RH's they maitre'd won't keep the whole tip they are given. I know at my RH it was split with the banquet manager, and to me that makes sense considering the bm was the one who first saw us, then when we came back to book sat with us and wrote up the contract. THen for the year and a half until my wedding he was the one that i went to with anything, also when i had to make payments. When i called for a request or a question he is the one who helped me. I dont know how its split, maybe 60-40 or 70-30 who knows.

Yes we are paying alot of money for our weddings, but the payments we make go to the RH, not every employee that will work at our wedding that day.

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THANK YOU!!!!! My point exactly. The RH gets most of the $$$, so thats why I think tipping the MD generously is appropriate if they do a good job. Most of their $ comes from tips, they often get a low hourly rate in addition but not a lot.

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Posted by Jacquelyn

Arn't they getting paid regaurdles!!!! Why do we have to tip them on top of that
This makes me so mad to know that i'am paying all this $$ to the hall and then thay want us to tip these people on top of the hundreds of dollars we are already given them! I say we all jsut say F**k it LOL and give $100 to the maitre'd's. We'll start a new trend! LMAO

anybody with me

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I work in a restaurant and get paid $4.60 per hour.

When I worked catering at LOTS, we were paid a set shift pay of $10 hour, no tip, no nothing. If someone tried handing me $5 for doing a good job, I had to give it to the MD. They were very shady there. I have issues with the way they treated employees.

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Posted by bluekat16

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Posted by cbcf


Not all halls are the same so we all have to ask!!! But I do still think tipping them $1000 for one night is ridiculous!! I am giving what I can and not breaking the bank for it. They are just doing their job and if they do a great one then I will definitely tip them more. And my wedding definitely would be just as fine if my maitre'd wasnt there because I trust my hall in general to make it so.

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I totally agree not all Rh's are the same and it's up to us to ask. However, my FH's niece works at a LI RH...which I will not name as she still works there. She told me that they do not see ANY tips from the MD or otherwise. We're getting 20% added on for gratuity..in my case that's about $3500 for gratuity. then on top of that we have to tipe the MD and BA seperately, which one would think would be covered by the additional 20% added on. Regardless, I do think the MD and BA should be tipped.

However, $1000 is too much for one night as a tip for someone who is performing a job function that they were hired to do and are doing. It's one thing to tip, and to tip generously, especially if someone is doing a great job...it's a whole other thing to over-tip beyond what is reasonable. $1000 is un-reasonable IMO.

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i 100% agree with you. they should be tipped but like you said NOT $1000 for one night. That is what I was trying to get across in my other posts. But yup not every hall is the same and it seems more halls than not don't make their MD split their tips!!

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Posted by Jacquelyn

It was a joke! I was a waitress for almost 7yrs! LOL but again it was a joke......

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Yea but you made great tips because you have a sweet a$$

That's right b e o t c h! You know it OMG your soooo close. I'am excited!

it was recommended by our hall that we tip our Matre'd $900 based on our total of 180 people.

I was in the service business for YEARS (almost 10) and I am a firm believer that if you are good at what you do, you deserve to be compensated. If my Matre'd is good, he will get the recommended amount. If he goes above and beyond for us, we'll throw him a little more. HOWEVER, if I can't find him, or things I asked to be done aren't, I'm NOT giving the recommended amount.

I'm sick of paying for things that are done half assed or not right. I'm sick of going to a restaurant and getting sh!tty service and expected to tip 20%.

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Posted by yelley77

it was recommended by our hall that we tip our Matre'd $900 based on our total of 180 people.

I was in the service business for YEARS (almost 10) and I am a firm believer that if you are good at what you do, you deserve to be compensated. If my Matre'd is good, he will get the recommended amount. If he goes above and beyond for us, we'll throw him a little more. HOWEVER, if I can't find him, or things I asked to be done aren't, I'm NOT giving the recommended amount.

I'm sick of paying for things that are done half assed or not right. I'm sick of going to a restaurant and getting sh!tty service and being expected to tip 20%.

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seriously I agree. I didn't love my BM, my maitre d was pretty good. I gave him $500. I don't remember what i gave her but i know i took money out of hers (how hard it is to make sure I get a glass of water) and gave it to our video guy.

on top of that, we tipped the waitstaff. there was no question that the tip we gave the MD was all his.

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Posted by cbcf

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Posted by futuremrsfab

This is a dumb question- but does the maitre'd keep the whole tip or does he split it with the waiters- we were gonna tip the $3-$5 range, but we thought that they also paid the waiters with that money

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i think some halls might say they split it, but i know my sister did alot of weddings as a waitress (she was mostly a bridal attendant) but she did wait staff and they never saw any of that tip the maitre'd got

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ditto - I waitressed at Crest Hollow Country Club for a very short period of time in college and never saw a dime.

I don't think that lots of places split it - the waiters/ waitresses get paid more than in a restaurant. (I got paid $8.50 / hr and that was like 7 years ago and I was 19)

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Posted by MrsHtobe

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Posted by cbcf

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Posted by futuremrsfab

This is a dumb question- but does the maitre'd keep the whole tip or does he split it with the waiters- we were gonna tip the $3-$5 range, but we thought that they also paid the waiters with that money

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i think some halls might say they split it, but i know my sister did alot of weddings as a waitress (she was mostly a bridal attendant) but she did wait staff and they never saw any of that tip the maitre'd got

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ditto - I waitressed at Crest Hollow Country Club for a very short period of time in college and never saw a dime.

I don't think that lots of places split it - the waiters/ waitresses get paid more than in a restaurant. (I got paid $8.50 / hr and that was like 7 years ago and I was 19)

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The lady we sat with the other day told us that his tip will be split with upper management

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Posted by yelley77

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Posted by MrsHtobe

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Posted by cbcf

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Posted by futuremrsfab

This is a dumb question- but does the maitre'd keep the whole tip or does he split it with the waiters- we were gonna tip the $3-$5 range, but we thought that they also paid the waiters with that money

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i think some halls might say they split it, but i know my sister did alot of weddings as a waitress (she was mostly a bridal attendant) but she did wait staff and they never saw any of that tip the maitre'd got

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ditto - I waitressed at Crest Hollow Country Club for a very short period of time in college and never saw a dime.

I don't think that lots of places split it - the waiters/ waitresses get paid more than in a restaurant. (I got paid $8.50 / hr and that was like 7 years ago and I was 19)

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The lady we sat with the other day told us that his tip will be split with upper management

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I was just kind of talking to the waiter / waitress piece I know at Crest Hollow, no tips got shared with the waiters / waitresses. I don't know about upper management or any other places, really.

I should ask my hall about this. . .

FH and I aren't sure how much we are tipping yet. . .I believe that a good job should be rewarded and we will do the best we can with what we have