please help...I'm going to KILL my husband

UGH! I am so upset.
My husband is a SPOILED BRAT and I cannot stand it. A little background: He has been in school to be a chiropractor for 3 years now and is graduating in 6 months. I've been supporting us on my measly teacher's salary since we first moved in together (3 years ago). (He doesn't work, and I don't expect him to because he's in school for like 12 hours a day.) Anyway, he always 'wants' things...I call them pipe dreams. He's very materialistic like that...he HAS to have the nice car, nice this, nice that...
The latest is that he wants a motorcycle. Keep in mind that he already has one, a 1971 Honda that his Dad gave him last year. He has spent tons of MY money fixing it up (I know it's 'our' money, but still...I'm the one working). Recently, he got it into his head that he just needs a new one, because this is the 'only time in his life' when he can ride it with his friends and 'show off' (don't know where he got that from, as his Dad is 55 and wants a motorcycle too). ANYWAY, I informed him that he may NOT get one, as I am out of work right now and we have absolutely NO income coming in. We are cutting back everywhere, and there is NO way we can afford $8,000 on something so unnecessary. Besides, I cannot stand motorcycles and think they are super dangerous. (I hate the fact that he already has one too.) Well, I just got a phone call from him; he bought a freakin BRAND NEW motorcycle without bothering to consult me (maybe because he knew what I'd say). WHAT A JERK!! I am in shock that he would do this...what the ****!?! I don't even want to speak to him. How could he do this when we have NO money???? I know, it's because his STUPID ANNOYING FATHER is lending him the money until he gets a job. I think they are forgetting that when my husband does get a job, I am NOT going to be working, we are going to be buying a house, etc...we won't have 'extra' money just laying around. How inconsiderate and immature and irresponsible can one person be?
I don't have anyone to talk to...if I tell my mom, she will absolutely flip out. I tried talking to my MIL, but she was like, 'well honey, I can understand where he's coming from...you got a new baby and now he wants something new too...' WHAT THE #@&% !?!? IT'S OUR BABY, NOT JUST MINE.
AAAAUUUUGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!! Please help, I don't know what to do. I feel like packing my bags and grabbing Lyndsey and leaving.

first of all Id want to smack your MIL for that comment about YOU getting a new baby and HE needs something new!!!!

I dont have any advice though. Maybe he can take it back after he sees how p*ssed you are!!

Karen...I want to smack her too!

I would be BEYOND P!ssed!!! I can't see spending a $100 of my husbands income w/out telling him! (I'm a SAHM) You need to talk some sense into him!!

Here some hugs

Not to be morbid but I have a small box of my ex's stuff from his bike that he died on. I can scan pics of his speedometer, foot peg, bloody cigarette pack and so on, what's left of the bike...show this to your DH and tell him he don't need a bike, especially a jap bike to show off with.

I am sorry you are upset. I wish you all the best & I prayer for his safety

sorry mel- this seems like he had his mind set, expected a gren light from u. when he didnt get one, he went ahead anyway.
This is something I think both of you need to address NOW . neither one of you should go shooting off and spending $$ on a MAJOR purchase without consulting and HEEDING each other


You may need to get an impartial 3rd party involved...maybe a credit manager? financial advisor? that worked for my inlaws that were in debt. They heeded the qualified advisor more than us...

I would be so #$%^ ****ed !

First your MIL deserves a SLAP for being totally out of line with that stupis azz comment. Secondly DH should get an even bigger slap for being selfish.

I understand boys want their toys but they need to be able to afford it. Maybe after he is done with school and HE has some income coming in you can discuss it.

He is a dad now and it's all about your prescious little girl NOT HIM

Wow- that mother in law...I can't even go there- I don't know what to say about that!
I can relate to the spoiled brat husband...my DH gets that way often and then pouts about it if I don't give in. Of course, its usually on a much smaller scale! Unfortunately he makes more money than I usually have a weaker argument than he does. I would feel like leaving if I were you also!

Just wanted to give you some hugs...I probably will be feeling the same way too.



Your MIL deserves a slap for that comment. The nerve!

Your MIL statement is crazy. How can she compare a baby to a motorcycle????

You will have to sit DH and have a serious talk. Maybe is going througha phase. But that is huge financial commitment that you should have been involved in. I wish you all the best.

Not good....

No wonder he acts the way he does - with mommy and daddy pampering his a$$ all of his life. You have to do something - this is serious business. This guy doesn't even sound mature enough to be a responsible parent, especially if he is still acting like mommy and daddy's baby.

I'm sorry I don't have something more positive to say, but I'd be looking at the big picture and taking note of the red flags dropping everywhere.

I wish you nothing but the best sweetie.

I had to take a break after I read your post because I wanted to reply constructively and I couldn't at first because I was so angry, so I can't imagine how you feel.

I agree with Shamee (Sharon?) This is not a good sign. It's not about the motorcycle. It's about his disrespect for so many things. Your financial situation, for one; he knows you won't work when he's working yet he put you in a situation where you will have to allocate a huge portion of a salary you've been long awaiting to debt. He showed disrespect for your daughter at a time where, in your financial situation, any extra money should be used for her needs. Most of all, he showed disrespect for you. You'll move mountains to get your daughter what she needs but ultimately you will suffer the most by working harder, doing without, and sacrificing in general while he literally rides off into the sunset.

I advise not only financial counseling but marital counseling. And I send you lots of hugs. I suspect you will need them.

Keep us posted.

I Think something else must be going on with your husband because this kind of behavior is intolarable. Is he feeling left out of you and the baby's relationship, because as much as mil needs a slap, I would have to be restrained when seeing him and the 8k in debt he just put your new struggling family in.

Holy Cow Melissa. In all honestly, I would change the da m locks on the doors for this one!!!
Tell him either return the bike or quit school and start working or find a nice, new place to live!! I don't even know what to say to you because this is total B/S.
And there is NO excuse for this type of behavior. Left out my a$$. He sounds to me like he is afraid to grow up and take responsiblity for his family. I think I would be sleeping at my parents tonight. I feel so bad that he did this to you. What on Earth. And if your MIL wants him to have one tell her to PAY FOR IT. Cancel the order Melissa and also consider putting money into an account that he does not have access to. And this is not about YOUR money or HIS money. It is about a partnership between two people who are supposed to make major purchase decisions TOGETHER.

I would also TOTALLY flip out on this one !!
I dont know what to tell you Melissa, but you have every right to be angry, and to even make him SELL IT !
Tell him I said 'Shame on you!'
Tell him you could have bought so many things for Lindsey with that money (maybe that will tug at his heart strings! )



BIG HUGS !

Melissa, I am so sorry! I don't even know what to say! This is totally irresponsible of your husband, and completely disrespectful of your feelings. You really need to talk to him about this seriously - maybe have someone watch Lyndsey for 2 hours so you two can go somewhere and talk w/o distractions?

And, your MIL - I can't even comment on her b/c I will say things that God will strike me down for! She needs to get a CLUE!

Good luck, sweetie...please let us know how you're doing!