Poll: Broke even, Made money, Fell short

Original post by Jordan

Apr 23, 2003 12:11 PM

I hope this doesn't come across rude...but I'm curious. My SO is *convinced* that we're going to make all the money we're spending on our wedding and then some...I'm not so convinced.

So...for those of you who got married...if you wouldn't mind answering...did you Break Even, Make Money or Fall Short?

AndrewsChick Posted: Apr 23, 2003 01:47 PM

Re: Poll: Broke even, Made money, Fell short

This is my 2nd time at this marriage thing. So speaking from my 1st marriage about 9 years ago, we didn't even make close to half of what we spent. But remember, thats not what its all about!

DeniseMang Posted: Apr 23, 2003 01:48 PM

Re: Poll: Broke even, Made money, Fell short

Our wedding costed us 22K, we got 18K in gifts (due to 7K from our parents). So we fell short by about 4K? Not bad, huh?

Teri Posted: Apr 23, 2003 01:49 PM

Re: Poll: Broke even, Made money, Fell short

We knew we wouldn't even come close, but that's not why we had the wedding in the first place! We were pleasantly surprised how generous most ppl were.

Sassy Posted: Apr 23, 2003 01:50 PM

Re: Poll: Broke even, Made money, Fell short

I'm not counting on anything
Whatever I get will be icing on the cake

butterfly20 Posted: Apr 23, 2003 02:09 PM

Re: Poll: Broke even, Made money, Fell short

the a mount received by guest is only to be compareagainst the amount it cost for the reception hall...everything else are just extras the bride and groom wanted. like photography, limo etc... the guests arent benefiting from them.
and yeah you shouldnt look at the amount people give, but its kinda rude if they give a really low amount or nothing, they shouldnt get a free meal from the couple. IMO

Jordan Posted: Apr 23, 2003 02:38 PM

Re: Poll: Broke even, Made money, Fell short

MY SO & I *totally* know what the day is about - and a fundraiser, it is not - we don't expect anything from anyone and the wedding we are throwing is all our doing with all our money - it's a party for our guests to celebrate with us. I'm not your 'typical girl' - I do not look at my wedding day as 'the most beautiful day of my life' - it's a party to me (us) celebrating our vows - which is the most important thing to us (the vows, that is). My marriage is what's important to me, not the wedding - that's just fluff, imo.

With that said, I was just asking a question - anyone who felt their stomach turn or was put off by it, didn't need to reply. To those that did, I appreciate the time you took to answer...

HearzBellz Posted: Apr 23, 2003 02:39 PM

Re: Poll: Broke even, Made money, Fell short

Not that it's too important to us, but we will probably do well b/c both of us are the 1st in our generation to get hitched, and neither side of the family has had a wedding for almost 30 years, so everyone is itching to party!!!

PS- we are also being sensible about the spending on the wedding... doing alot of things ourselves, so we are spending about $14K total for 200 people.

Misty Posted: Apr 23, 2003 02:44 PM

Re: Poll: Broke even, Made money, Fell short

I think this is a very valid question, because everyone, no matter how much money you have going into this, wonders how much they will get in gifts.

Anyone I have come in contact with has made back half or less..never more...so I'm not expecting much, just a little help.

shamma Posted: Apr 23, 2003 02:58 PM

Re: Poll: Broke even, Made money, Fell short

This is a public forum and public responses were allowed the last time I checked.

Jordan Posted: Apr 23, 2003 03:09 PM

Re: Poll: Broke even, Made money, Fell short

Never said you weren't 'allowed' to respond...I said you didn't have to if it offended you so. Public forums allow public queries as well - without attacking someone's intentions or character - especially if you don't know the person. You know, last I checked.

shamma Posted: Apr 23, 2003 03:17 PM

Re: Poll: Broke even, Made money, Fell short

Wait a minute here, who attacked you?? My statements were very general. Just like you have the right to post a question, I have to the right to state my point on how I feel on this topic. Get your facts straight before posting. You are the only one that took it as an attack on you. Is there something you would like to tell us.

kelly6273 Posted: Apr 23, 2003 03:27 PM

Re: Poll: Broke even, Made money, Fell short

I don't normally like to get involved when people are arguing here but I have to put my two cents in. First of all I want to say that I am not here to argue but simply help to maybe smooth this over. Shamma...I think you may have taken Colleen the wrong way. She just asked a question out of curiousity and you (in a round about way) called her greedy. Calling someone greedy is attacking them. Colleen is not saying that she better get her money back, she simply asked a question that I believe is in the back of all of our heads.
Can we please all kiss and make up now?

shamma Posted: Apr 23, 2003 03:39 PM

Re: Poll: Broke even, Made money, Fell short

Could you please point me in the direction of where I said her or any other bride was greedy?? Please, b.c I do not know her to call her greedy and if you or anyone knows me on this board, you would know that I do not go in a round about way to say anything that is on my mind. If I felt she was asking this to be greedy I would have said such. I am not upset with her, I feel she accused me wrongly and that is what I did not like. We never broke up so we do not need to make up. Everything is cool on my end.

DarNTom Posted: Apr 23, 2003 03:42 PM

Re: Poll: Broke even, Made money, Fell short

My sister told me today that I'm selfish and am only getting married to make a profit. I told her that I could care less if we make the money back I just wanted to share our day. I am so glad I found this thread because I told her most people never make it back and most people don't even expect it back or care to get it back!

kelly6273 Posted: Apr 23, 2003 03:44 PM

Re: Poll: Broke even, Made money, Fell short

Shamma,
Again, I'm not trying to argue but here is a sentence from your post on page one:

I think this question must never be asked. It makes brides look greedy.

DarNTom Posted: Apr 23, 2003 03:48 PM

Re: Poll: Broke even, Made money, Fell short

I mean if you really think about all the guests you invite give you a gift so at some point you'll go to their weddings or special function. When you go to theirs you give them a gift, it's really not a gain or loose thing it's kind of a circle of gifts, lol.

Thrilled Posted: Apr 23, 2003 03:51 PM

Re: Poll: Broke even, Made money, Fell short

I agree with Lara (Mistyeyed) that this is a valid question because we have all wondered. Don't lie - you have wondered. It is possible to wonder this question and still love/adore/cherish/worship your FH/DH and share/celebrate your day with everyone.

Colleen, it was a good question but you did get a little prickly with Shamma for stating the way she felt about it. Shamma is actually a huge sweetheart and an invaluable resource on this board - she isn't a troublemaker in any way shape or form. to you both.

berlykim22 Posted: Apr 23, 2003 03:57 PM

Re: Poll: Broke even, Made money, Fell short

Its hard to Really tell
BECAUSE at the end you start spending tons of money and you arent accounting for it cause its crunch time and by this time it doesnt matter, you spend like crazy, (just buying not caring about prices at this point)

I think with all wedding related stuff
we came close to breaking even
this is WITHOUT HONEYMOON

but like I said I really dont know
and i dont think i am going to start calculating now.

michele31 Posted: Apr 23, 2003 04:01 PM

Re: Poll: Broke even, Made money, Fell short

When planning a wedding think of this 'If we get not one penny from any guest would I still do this?' If the answer is 'yes' then book the vendor, buy the gown etc... DO NOT count on any money from anyone. I will tell you I was SHOCKED at what some guests gave us- good and bad. Some people who I thought would be very generous we NOT at all, while others who I never expected to be where super generous. So everytime my parents would say 'You can invite XX, and XX because you will get the money back' I am glad I said, 'NO. I want people at my wedding who I want there, with or without a gift'. We didn't break even at all. Most couples do not get back more than the reception costs, unless the have very generous guests or their parents give them a very large gift. If you are paying for everything yourself do not expect to even come close.

shamma Posted: Apr 23, 2003 04:03 PM

Re: Poll: Broke even, Made money, Fell short

Kelly6273, no arguing, just do not like when what I say is taken out of context.

I think this question must never be asked. It makes brides look greedy. (my opinion) This includes all of us. Why would you or her think I am speaking specifically to her??? No one else did.

Thanks Thrilled