Poll: Broke even, Made money, Fell short

I dunno, I don't think I read into anything nor do I think I was being, um, prickly. The 'general' comment was made with a lot of opinion about a question that I asked - so yeah, I read the responses as if they are directly towards me.

In any case - I wasn't looking to start trouble. I asked a question - it's your individual choice if you want to respond or not. I would just hope it was done with civility and not in such a matter of fact tone - I wasn't asking for opinion, I was asking a Poll question.

We estimated what our cash gifts would be in our budget...currently it's at approx. 10% of our cost (the percentage could drop if I continue spending like I have been! ) FH is a numbers guy. Call us greedy if you wish.

Like cp0329 mentioned, the vows are important to us...not the reception. The reception is just an opportunity for us to throw one big a*s party for our family & friends.


edited to say: obviously we don't 'expect' to make a profit or break even.

I want my guests to have a good time.

Sometimes between FI and I money is an issue because we both feel we are putting so much into this celebration.

I know the day of the wedding when I sit at my table and look around at everyone having fun it will all be worth every penny we put into it.

As long as I have all my friends and family with us that is a gift in itself

FWIW, I don't think you're being greedy, Jenny

I totally understand your question. Especially since we are not having our parents pay for any of our wedding (minus a gift from my FH's parents, which was helpful). We don't plan to make much back.

We're spending 40K for the afternoon wedding (100 guests) and honeymoon. We don't 'expect' anything from our guests either, but since the wedding is coming out of our pockets, this question has crossed our minds.

Most importantly though-do not judge the gifts that you get. It may be tempting to do so. But, friends may come from families where big gifts are not common. People may be having financial problems. The size of their check is not the size of their love, it reflects many other things.

We will feel lucky if we are given $10K from our 100 guests (plus 10K from his parents). If we don't that's ok, but based on other family weddings that amount is probably in the cards. So, that's still not more than half.

Make sure that you can afford most of your wedding on your own, try not to plan on gifts to pay it off as debt:)

The amount you will be given TOTALLY depends on the situations of your family and friends though. I don't want answers to these-but these are some things that will affect what kind of gifts you get:

Do you come from wealthy or poor families?
Are your friends students or are all of them trying to buy a home or having babies? Is it considered in poor taste to give money as a gift by either of your families? What type of weddings are usually held in your families and are they expensive? How many people are you inviting? Are several people unemployed? The economy is down, so this too may impact what people are comfortable parting with.....All of these things will impact what people can or will give.

If you need help figuring out how to have an elegant affair that doesn't cut too many corners and that doesn't break the bank, I might be able to give you some pointers.

Good luck!

ha ha ha. I am laughing because DH and i had the same discussion. and having just counted, our cash gifts came to about a 1/4 of our wedding cost. have not yet figured what all the gifts came to. i think we were both surprised at some of the gifts (both ways - some were very generous, and some were very not). but as was already said, you make it back in love and it was totally worth it.

so sorry for the advice, but the therapist in me can't help it. talk to your FH and prepare him for a 'worse case'. I did and it really helped so that rather than being disappointed on the big day he was pleasantly surprised. now on to the thank yous!

Wedding was over 40K, gifts totaled over 30k!
We were very happy!

not yet married myself but we're 'hoping' that we at least cover most of the wedding but we're definietly not planning on making any money!

Why was a thread from 03 randomly bumped? A not so good thread at that?

BTW, there are threads about 'gifts' on the Newlywed Board.