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proper age for marriage?

bride2beofmike Posted:

proper age for marriage?

hi im new on this site...and im 21 years old my FH is 25. He is absolutely amazing and were verry excited and happy. Lately i feel like whenever i tell someone im engaged, theyre like OMG ur so young, oh should wait, oh marriage aint no joke, etc.... that comes right after the congrats. we obviously are deeply committed to each other and have stable jobs...

i dont think theres no appropriate age to get married. my mother got married to my father when she was 20, and they are still happy and in love. Some ppl have such negative attitudes or negative experiences with marriage that instead of guiding others they tend to offend them.

argh sorry i just wanted to ventt!!
AlliNMatt06 Posted:

Re: proper age for marriage?

Don't worry about what people say, everyone has there own opinion.
You are below the normal age for marriage now a days, so you are definitely going to get some comments. Just ignore them!!
waterspout4 Posted:

Re: proper age for marriage?

I don't think there is a proper age. It's all about maturity.

BTW.... my DH and I were both 30 when we got married. Many people, during the planning process, asked if it was our first marriage. Just because we're older doesn't mean anything. Just because you're younger doesn't mean anything either. There will always be comments about any age.
gonzo23456 Posted:

Re: proper age for marriage?

Age is nothing but a number. It does not determine someone's maturity to get married. I know people who are in their 30's & 40's, that were not ready for marriage but knowone says anything because they think they are mature enough. Which obviously they were not. Someone's age should not define when they should be married. If you were 18, I might say it is a different story but you are a grown woman. I think many people say not to get married so young due to their own experiences. People need to see you as a grown woman and let you learn life just the way they did. Good Luck and Congrats on your engagement!

Soon2BeMrs Posted:

Re: proper age for marriage?

dont listen to all their comments...i get the same thing and it is aggrevating but when you know its right you just know....age isnt a factor. all that matters is that you two are happy!

JenMike331 Posted:

Re: proper age for marriage?


Posted by waterspout4

I don't think there is a proper age. It's all about maturity.

BTW.... my DH and I were both 30 when we got married. Many people, during the planning process, asked if it was our first marriage. Just because we're older doesn't mean anything. Just because you're younger doesn't mean anything either. There will always be comments about any age.



totally agree...its totally about the majurity level of both ppl and of course their commitment and love for one another
jennd311 Posted:

Re: proper age for marriage?

yes, its all about maturity. don't worry about what others say

CLMon7906 Posted:

Re: proper age for marriage?

Ignore other people...I got married at 25 and people tell me I'm too young. I think that on LI you hear it the most b/c so many people don't marry until their 30s...which is their choice, but I'd put money on the fact that for years they heard 'why aren't you married YET?'

the truth is, people are idiots when left to their own minds sometimes. people will often speak before thinking and offend instead of compliment...sometimes I think people said I was too young b/c they felt I needed to 'live' more or something. I was 25!

I recently became pregnant...I've heard everything from 'Congrats' to 'Oh, really? You guys wasted no time.' Now the latter wasn't meant to hurt my feelings, but sometimes, it does. [hey, i'm rather emotional now...stupid hormones]

Just learn to absorb the good and ignore the bad. Otherwise, you'll stress yourself out.
hayleyandsteve Posted:

Re: proper age for marriage?

Don't listen to what anyone says! I'm 22 and FH is 26. We always hear that I'm too young... but when people see how in love we are and know that we've been together for almost 6 years already, they know that now is the right time for us. You marriage is just about YOU and FH.... everyone will always have an opinion, but yours and FH's are all that matters.
JIFFY Posted:

Re: proper age for marriage?

If I met you I would think the same thing. Here is my perspective. I guess I think that way bc I am 37 and I had so much fun in my 20's. I would think back to when I was 21. I did things that I could never do if I were married. (and i'm not talking about sex stuff). Also, people your age are usually not in stable jobs. We (us old people ) know how hard it is to make ends meet. I just know that I have learned so much about myself, the world, people in general that I never knew when I was 21 but thought I did.

So I apologize for 'us' not taking your feelings into consideration. If you know he is the one for you- then you know! It's just very shocking now a days for people to get married so young. So just

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!

Nic
cherish83 Posted:

Re: proper age for marriage?


Posted by hayleyandsteve

Don't listen to what anyone says! I'm 22 and FH is 26. We always hear that I'm too young... but when people see how in love we are and know that we've been together for almost 6 years already, they know that now is the right time for us. You marriage is just about YOU and FH.... everyone will always have an opinion, but yours and FH's are all that matters.



Us too. When we get married I will be 25 and FH will be 24, that is 18 months from now. WHen we got engaged I was 22 and FH was 21. SOOO we always heard we are too young
babybug631 Posted:

Re: proper age for marriage?

I agree that it is about maturity. As long as you not rushing into anything and you know that this is the right person for you, that is all that matters.

I have had friends married as young as you and are still happily married.
dreamworld06 Posted:

Re: proper age for marriage?

Getting married definitely shouldn't be about age. Believe me when I got engaged, I expected everyone to say congratulations but I got everything from 'you're engaged already' to 'why didn't you tell me the day you got engaged'. People have strange reactions but you're wise enough to know what you're doing.
Meaghan729 Posted:

Re: proper age for marriage?

ignore what others have to say.

I have been with FH since i was 18 -
but i have always been very mature for my age - im not into clubbing, etc - i started my career at 22so for me to get engaged when I was 23 didnt really shock anyone.

i have friends my age married, and I have friends my age living in the city partying it up. everyone is different!
Michy Posted:

Re: proper age for marriage?

When I first got engaged I was 22 and everyone who was not close to me said the same thing and I was very quick to tell them that I did not need their input. Don't be shy to tell people that that is their opinion but you don't agree with them. I know a lot of people who were married young and are still together now and I also know people who were married at an older age and are happy. Age to me is really not a factor as long as you are in love with eachother and respect one another.

jenn122397 Posted:

Re: proper age for marriage?

i dont think there is an appropriate age to get married. I was 23 when i got engaged and i will be 25 when im married
it depends on the person and teh couple - you do it when you are mentally ready to - its a hard thing to explain but im sure you girls know what i mean.
luvabul Posted:

Re: proper age for marriage?

thank u!! made me feel better
AeroJenn Posted:

Re: proper age for marriage?

I hear it all the time too. I'm 21 and FH is 22. We've been together for 4 years. The first thing people ask when we tell them we're engaged is 'how old are you'. When we tell them, we always get 'omg you're so young'.

I've learned that theres no point in explaining yourself to people...its really none of their business. You know you love each other and what other people think doesnt really matter. Try not to let it get to you too much -- but I'm sorry you have to go thru this

Congrats on your engagement!!!
Goldi1021 Posted:

Re: proper age for marriage?

On the flip side of youth, you have those of us who married later - myself at 35. Whether it was because that was we waited or because it just happened that way, I often either heard comments or learned of things behind my back like:

'Its about time.'
or
'You better have kids right away, your clock is ticking.'
or
'We all thought you/she were a lesbian.'
or
'You are lucky, a woman over 35's chances of marrying are less likely than a terrorist attack.'

So consider yourself blessed that you have found the love of your life. Your age is irrelevant to your marriage. You are a responsible adult. You owe noboody any rationales.
Trishthedish Posted:

Re: proper age for marriage?


Posted by JIFFY

If I met you I would think the same thing. Here is my perspective. I guess I think that way bc I am 37 and I had so much fun in my 20's. I would think back to when I was 21. I did things that I could never do if I were married. (and i'm not talking about sex stuff). Also, people your age are usually not in stable jobs. We (us old people ) know how hard it is to make ends meet. I just know that I have learned so much about myself, the world, people in general that I never knew when I was 21 but thought I did.

So I apologize for 'us' not taking your feelings into consideration. If you know he is the one for you- then you know! It's just very shocking now a days for people to get married so young. So just

CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!

Nic



Being that I am 32 and engaged and will be 33 when I get married, I have to say, I definitely agree with the above post. I am sorry and I am not trying to be mean BUT, when you hit your late 20's, early 30's you realize how much you enjoyed your life and the best years are when you are in your early and mid twenties. I do not regret at all that I will be 33 when I am married. I enjoyed and had great times when I was younger and I love reminising on those times.

Congratulations on your engagement.

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