Good morning ladies, hope you're all doing well! So I hope this question isn't too personal! I LOVE talking and learning about different religions, so that's why I'm asking it.
Are you & FH the same religion? If not, or if one of you is more religious than the other, do you feel like that has affected your relationship at all? How has that affected or changed wedding plans? Do you think that it will cause issues in the future? What is the best thing about you & FH's religious differences or similarities?
I was raised Catholic; I attended Catholic school from pre-k to 12th grade, and the first college that I went to was a Jesuit University. For probably about 4 or 5 years, I considered myself an atheist. Then probably about 1.5 years ago I returned to the Catholic Church and was kind of into it. However, I had trouble reconciling my personal beliefs with those of the church.
So I now consider myself non-religious. I do believe in God, but I also believe in science. I wear a cross because I believe that Jesus was a great philosopher, but also a great man. I also feel a very deep spiritual connection-particularly to my Grandparents, who are all deceased. I think I eventually may seek out a Unitarian Congregation to join. I'm open to all religions, and I think there's truth & beauty, but also misconceptions, in & about everything.
Eric was raised by a Protestant father and a Jewish mother. He wasn't brought up in one as opposed to the other; he was brought up celebrating the holidays of both. However, when I started attending Mass again, Eric got really into it. He was baptized, confirmed, and received communion during the Easter Vigil this year. He does not nesacarily follow every rule of Catholocism, but he is very religious otherwise.
When deciding where we wanted to have the ceremony for our wedding, he wanted it in a Church, I did not. We wound up picking a venue in CT, and we had both told ourselves that if we did that, we would have the ceremony on site. Our RH is RIGHT off a major parkway, so we don't want to turn something simple into a major production. (Meaning everyone won't have this RH that's right off the pkway, but then have to go exploring through the state to find a church). However, we are going to try and find a Catholic priest that will perform the ceremony. If not, we will find a Christian minister.
If we hadn't of booked in CT, I'm not sure how that would've played out. I would've been willing to get married in a Church, but probably not have been thrilled. I don't think it would've caused a fight b/t us though, because we're both very respectful of each other's different beliefs. I don't think it will cause any problems in the future, except maybe when we have children. I have no problem whatsoever with them being baptized and raised Catholic. I also had such a positive experience at Catholic schools, so that is where I would probably send them. I guess the only issue would be that they would probably start to recognize that 'Mommy goes to a different church' and 'Mommy believes in different things'. But we'll work it out. Also, I plan on celebrating all major holidays that I am aware of- Christmas, Hanukah, Passover, Easter- so the kids will be seeing a difference b/t Church Holidays and 'Mommy' Holidays.
The best thing about our religious/spiritual beliefs is that we both believe in eternal life-life after death-, and that lets us believe in eternal love!
SORRY this was SO long LoL, I guess I have a LOT to say.
mbscheer
Posted:
Member since
Re: QOTD 05/19/09!
FH and I both thought we were more religious than we were. The first passover we were together neither of us would cheat. One day he finally says to me I do not usually make it this far!! We both laughed because we were eating matzvah for the other one!
runnerbride1023
Posted:
Member since
Re: QOTD 05/19/09!
I was raised as a conservative jew and I would consider myself pretty religious. or as religious as someone can be who falls in love with a non-jewish person....
Nick is not jewish. raised RC. Goes to church on easter/x-mas. My opinion on how religious he is is probably different than what he thinks, but its all about personal preference.
I think our different religious backgrounds has made us stronger as a couple. Early on we had to agree on the religion of our children. (Jewish). And now that we are planning a wedding, it has made us stronger in deciding the events of the ceremony, etc.
kris_gets_hitched
Posted:
Member since
Re: QOTD 05/19/09!
Wow, this is like...questionS of the day, LOL! I love it, though!
Are you & FH the same religion? If not, or if one of you is more religious than the other, do you feel like that has affected your relationship at all? ~ FH is Muslim; I consider myself Christian but have been having some problems in finding a Christian church that is non-judgemental of FH and my relationship. So as of now, I'm practicing only on my own, at home. We're both kind of at the same level with how we/how often we practice: we kind of do it on our own and don't necessarly attend church or mosque frequently. I've been looking into Unitarian churches because I feel like it would be a safe, non-judgemental place for us to practice together and when we have kids, give them a place to do so as well.
How has that affected or changed wedding plans? Not much. I mean, we're getting married at the RH in a legal ceremony and then we'll have an imam perform a nikkah (Muslim wedding) for us. But it's not like this affects the wedding plans - they ARE the wedding plans. The only thing affected - which I don't mind - is that we're keeping the bars low-key and offering a lot of non-alcoholic cocktails for his side of the family. Most of them don't drink. And by low-key, I mean that they'll be fully stocked bars and all, but no martini luges or anything like that.
Do you think that it will cause issues in the future? We've already discussed this. Our children will be raised Muslim but if at any point they decide to question things/seek out other faiths, we'll support them throughout. My folks did that with me and we think I turned out alright.
What is the best thing about you & FH's religious differences or similarities? I've learned so much about Islam through his family. It really is a beautiful religion - it's just not something that clicks with me in my heart. I think all religions are beautiful in their own way. We've found ways to practice together, which has actually brought us closer through the years - especially in the past year.
lori7570
Posted:
Member since
Re: QOTD 05/19/09!
I was raised Roman Catholic...I used to be more religious but am not crazy about some of the teachings of the church, so I am more spiritual. My parents are ultra religious (but not overboard)...go to church every Sun and holy days, read the bible daily, volunteer at the church.
FH was baptised Baptist but he and his family never went to church. A few years ago he converted to Catholicism because he knew it was very important to me and my family that we get married at a church.
We will raise our children Catholic
KRISTIND
Posted:
Member since
Re: QOTD 05/19/09!
we were both born and raise roman catholic (italian catholic) i guess more italian than catholic though go to church on holidays and weddings, he was married before and wasted my church wedding on his first jewish wife...we are getting married at the catering hall and i will probably never get over the fact that my wedding was not in the church even though i have forgiven him for it....raising the kids is no problem and i swear i will find a way to renew my vows in a church and some how get the church wedding one day.....my parents are very happy that the wedding is at the place because they thought it was too complicated to get married in jersey if there was a church involved
MikesBride2B
Posted:
Member since
Re: QOTD 05/19/09!
Are you and FH the same religion? Not at all...FH was raised Presbyterian (his mother is a pastor) but right now he's very religious but unaffiliated...once he moves out here I think he will probably be checking out Church of Christ and possibly the Unitarian Church. I was raised Jewish. Because FH is somewhat unique in his views on Christianity, we actually work out pretty well...FH believes that Christians should be more in touch with the Hebrew Bible and should participate in more Jewish customs so it makes it easier.
How has it affected/changed wedding plans? Well I always pictured getting married in a Jewish ceremony, but when I thought about it realistically, I didn't want FH to feel like a stranger at his own wedding. We'll be having a modified ceremony to incorporate both religions, but we'll probably still be married by a Rabbi.
Do you think it will cause issues in the future? I don't, but only because I gave FH my ultimatum right up front, even before we started dating. I told him that when I have children that I will be raising them Jewish and that if he wasn't okay with that then we should not pursue a relationship. He agreed to that course of action and has never expressed any regret in that decision. I do worry a little that one day he'll be upset about it, but I've checked in with him many, many times over the course of our relationship and he's always been completely fine with it.
What's the best thing about the religious differences? Well this year I got to celebrate my first ever Christmas with his family, which was nice. FH and I have had many many philosophical discussions about religion and our beliefs and such, and those definitely helped us to get closer in the beginning. I think its nice to have a different perspective on things...but in the end, if he wanted to convert I'd be really happy hehe.
regy_k
Posted:
Member since
Re: QOTD 05/19/09!
we are both Jewish. I would not marry anybody who is not Jewish. I grew up in Israel, and just believe that I have to marry Jewish. I love my religion, and altho not religious and go very rarely to the Temple and so is FH, I would not have even considered marrying outside of my religion. I am more knowledgeable about religious practices, b/c I grew up in Israel and FH more practicing (his family does all of the holidays according to tradition). It doesn't cause any problems obviously, just a lot of discussions about 'how come u dont do this?' or 'how can u NOT know this?'. we are getting married at the RH, and that is how it's done in Israel, so no problem there as well. I can't wait to raise our children Jewish.
asg450
Posted:
Member since
Re: QOTD 05/19/09!
We are both Christian but he is Methodist and I'm Pentecostal.
We still do some things a little different; for instance, I do not do confirmations only baptisms. I also do not believe in infant baptism but rather being baptized when you are old enough to understand what it means. (This is my opinion, so please don't get offended by anything I say).
We've debated about these things with regard to our future children and it's always a heated discussion because I'm very hard headed.
It doesn't help that his mom thinks Methodists are the only form of Christians; he had to explain to her that I was Christian and not another religion when we first started dating.
Our different religious beliefs have not effected our wedding plans; but the cultural differences have.
We are Christian but not religious at all. I was raised and confirmed in the Presbyterian church but haven't been attending church since high school. FH doesn't attend Church. We've decided to have a non-religous ceremony but we will have our children baptised when we do have kids...
MrsL2010
Posted:
Member since
Re: QOTD 05/19/09!
we are both Catholic. I don't think either of us are more religious than the other one. FH went to Catholic school k-12 and even a jesuit college. I currently teach in a Catholic school. we both grew up going to church on sundays. his mom taught in a Catholic school for many years, my mom teaches religious ed.
when we have kids, we will be raising them Catholic.
I always pictured myself getting married in the church where I grew up. I never even considered getting married at the RH.
Future Mrs H
Posted:
Member since
Re: QOTD 05/19/09!
Both FH are both Catholic- Fh went to Catholic school from K-12 grade and I went from 1-8 grade. He was an alter server and his mom taught CCD for many years. We both went to church every Sunday until we didnt have to go with our parents anymore when we were in our teens. FH really never went back. I did go back to going on Sundays for a while, but I had issues with some of the things the church does so I pretty much stopped going. I totally beleive in my religion and believe that I should get married in the church for it to be accepted in the eyes of God. It is also a sacrament and as a Catholic feel I should do all my sacraments. I had been married before in the Church and had to go through an annulment in order to get married in the church again. (Which some of you I am sure remember the stress I went through with that) I am actually hoping to find a Church that I feel comfortable in and enjoy going to.
Since we arent having any children we dont have an issue about raising them Catholic
mosh424
Posted:
Member since
Re: QOTD 05/19/09!
We are both the same religion (Catholic)
We met in Catholic Highschool so all our values and beliefs are the same
Kiki1103
Posted:
Member since
Re: QOTD 05/19/09!
I am Catholic and FH's mom is Episcopalian and his dad is Jewish but he was raised episcopalian. Neither of us is religious but if I had to say who was more religious it would be me because he doesn't care if we get married in a church and I really wanted to get married in a church. it doesnt affect our relationship at all because he understands and is fine with the fact that I want to raise our kids Catholic and that I want to get married in a church. So I guess it works for us!
bubberflys
Posted:
Member since
Re: QOTD 05/19/09!
We were both 'raised' Catholic but he's now and atheist and I'm more agnostic. We are not getting married in a church and only enter churches when mandated for weddings/funerals/etc.
We have no intention right now to have any children, however, we did decide that if we did have a child, we would personally teach them religions exist and the basis behind the religions, but we would not raise them into any specific religion. They could pick on their own when they are older if they so wish.
FallBride2010
Posted:
Member since
Re: QOTD 05/19/09!
Neither one of us are very religious. I am definitely more spiritual than he is. We were both baptized Catholic. I did communion and confirmation and he didnt. We are getting married in a church b/c I wanted to make my mother happy. If I could, I would be marred by Buddhist monks
Jna2010
Posted:
Member since
Re: QOTD 05/19/09!
we are both Greek Orthodox, and we try to get to church every sunday, i think we've grown even more religious since weve been together... kids will obviously be greek orthodox and i def plan to be at church every sunday with them no doubt about it
SummerBride10
Posted:
Member since
Re: QOTD 05/19/09!
We were both raised Catholic. FH isn't big into religious at all. I'm don't exactly go to church every week but I don't consider myself non-religious.
MC127
Posted:
Member since
Re: QOTD 05/19/09!
I grew up very religious and continue to be to this day. I try to go to church as much as possible. FH did not grow up in the church but recently became religious September 2008 So now we go to Church together.
CristinanBen2010
Posted:
Member since
Re: QOTD 05/19/09!
We are both Catholic. I went to Catholic school my whole life till college. I consider myself some what religious. We are both pretty much on the same page with religion. We both didnt even think about getting married elsewhere but the church.
kimmaymb20
Posted:
Member since
Re: QOTD 05/19/09!
FH and I are both Roman Catholics. Both raised in the church. He probably was more religous in his teens then I was being in youth group and such. I went through a period of hating being Catholic but I learned as I got older that religion matters and I have fully embraced my faith. So I beleive now we are both on the same level of faithfulness We are getting married in the chruch with a full mass since thats is what I have envisioned for my wedding and to make our families happy. We do attend church or at least to attend church every Sunday but we have been bad lately. We will be raising our children Catholic.
