QOTD 10/6/10

This video and song has inspired a question: http://www.pp2g.tv/vZ3x9anY_.aspx


What do you believe it means to love someone unconditionally? Has there been obstacles in your relationship with fh that you both have overcome together? If so what were they? Do you believe that this or these obstacles have made you a stronger couple?


For me it was when I was diagnosed with MS. FH shared this story with Rev Deb and it made me cry when we were in her office. FH told Rev Deb, that he believed that my family was unsure of his stand on the matter and gave him the option to leave many times. I am sure it was not an easy thing for him to swallow, that my health is unpredictable and that he may have to take care of me as we get older. I don't know how well I would be able to take this news. So, I would have to say that loving someone unconditionally means loving that person through all the changes life throws at them.

I had known about FH's medical past and I knew that he was basically in the clear when we got togehter. But there were some issues that still hung out.

Early in our relationship he got really sick and was running fevers - me and his parents were in his room, icing him down to help bring the fevers down. I was so confused, I didn't really understand why him having a fever was such a big deal so it made me kind of sad that I didn't understand.

In the end, our first valentine's day was spent on the oncology floor of the hospital. His parents had to leave (his dad had some issues going on at the time) and I stayed the night. They were starting a new treatment for him that night (which he now does once a month) and I had to write down his vitals every half hour! I had to wake up, wake him up and write everything down. His heart rate went incredibly low and I had to make the decision to call his parents or not to let them know - I chose not to, and luckily it ended up being the right decision.

That was 4 months into our relationship - and we made it to 4 years and he is 5 years cancer free

You can say that I love him lol.

Ren:

I love this question.... so much that i sit here and want tocry. Thanks!!!! xoxo


For me loving Joey unconditionally is just so easy.... i'll do anything for him... he gets embarrassed easily and so i just try and make him as comfortable as possible. Theres nothing i wouldnt do for him.

He slept an entire week by my side in the hospital.... it was the sweetest thing. He was terrified.... i was ok... just had a G Tube.... and it just freaked him out. He uploaded my favorite movies on his lap top, brushed my hair, helped me walk the halls with my tubes and machines.

The kicker for me-- when i went to the doctor two weeks after to get my stomach drain removed.... i cried out in pain and he laughed..... and the doctor laughed and said you better not have this guy in the delivery room with you.... when i asked him in the car why he laughed he told me it was his defense mechanism so he wouldnt cry because he felt so bad for me <3

good question

my FH understands I have MS and is willing to be by my side even if that means Id come down the aisle in a wheelchair :)

He also has had a hard past, he went through a dark time.
He has over come SOOOOOOO much
I am so proud of him

We love each other despite our past and regardless of what looms in the future

we are both faced with shaky tomorrows- but i want all my tomorrows with him <3

your stories are inspirational.

My FH is bat sh*t crazy! lol...ok I'm saying that to be funny but really, he has mega anxiety issues and I've been through the ringer with him. He's also manic depressive and sometimes it really is so bad that i wanna run away and never come back but I know that love means staying put. I keep up with his doctors etc to keep him on an even keel.

He knows that he's not easy to be with sometimes. His family always tells me I'm a saint for putting up with him. lol

and on my end, FH has been through a lot, dealing w my divorce issues, my difficult Mom, my intrusive parents and money as well as my health issues.

Last night I told him that I loved him more than he loved me and that it wasn't supposed to be that way. He said, 'no matter what you think. I love you wayyy more. You're my air.'

sigh...stuff like that makes all the bad stuff go away, even if it's for a short time.

sigh...stuff like that makes all the bad stuff go away, even if it's for a short time.

---

i know exactly what you mean--- its like sometimes things are soo soo bad with everything-- and then he says the right thing and the world is just a much better place....

im corny.... but seriously... i love when they do that

i have to say, that in the time that FH and I have been together we have not had anything massive or life threating happen to anyone in our families.
Fh and I love each other unconditionally and we would be there for each other no matter what!

Loving FH unconditionally means dealing with his bad points and him dealing with mine.

Both of our brother's have problems--his brother got in a car accident when he was 17 and has a traumatic brain injury and we believe my brother has pdd (autism) and are currently in the process of having him tested.

We just support each other through all of the tough things that go along with that.

---

Posted by allornil

your stories are inspirational.

My FH is bat sh*t crazy! lol...ok I'm saying that to be funny but really, he has mega anxiety issues and I've been through the ringer with him. He's also manic depressive and sometimes it really is so bad that i wanna run away and never come back but I know that love means staying put. I keep up with his doctors etc to keep him on an even keel.

He knows that he's not easy to be with sometimes. His family always tells me I'm a saint for putting up with him. lol

and on my end, FH has been through a lot, dealing w my divorce issues, my difficult Mom, my intrusive parents and money as well as my health issues.

Last night I told him that I loved him more than he loved me and that it wasn't supposed to be that way. He said, 'no matter what you think. I love you wayyy more. You're my air.'

sigh...stuff like that makes all the bad stuff go away, even if it's for a short time.

---

Wow Amy!!!

---

Posted by rendel

---

Posted by allornil

your stories are inspirational.

My FH is bat sh*t crazy! lol...ok I'm saying that to be funny but really, he has mega anxiety issues and I've been through the ringer with him. He's also manic depressive and sometimes it really is so bad that i wanna run away and never come back but I know that love means staying put. I keep up with his doctors etc to keep him on an even keel.

He knows that he's not easy to be with sometimes. His family always tells me I'm a saint for putting up with him. lol

and on my end, FH has been through a lot, dealing w my divorce issues, my difficult Mom, my intrusive parents and money as well as my health issues.

Last night I told him that I loved him more than he loved me and that it wasn't supposed to be that way. He said, 'no matter what you think. I love you wayyy more. You're my air.'

sigh...stuff like that makes all the bad stuff go away, even if it's for a short time.

---

Wow Amy!!!

---

lol well he is bat sh*t crazy lol

I want to thank you all for sharing your stories... Ren - Your story is so touching, I wish you good health, I've known many people in my family and friends with MS ( my cousin was diagnosed last year at age 51, for some reason we don't get hit with it until our 50's in our family).

Loving unconditionally means dealing with all the problems at hand and loving that person because you can get through them, and getting through them because you love that person. Doing anything to help them, regardless of if they are asking for it. FH lost his job a year ago and spent (luckily) 2 months out of work, we had moved 3 hours away from home for this job too. That was a rough time - in fact that whole year upstate ****** - but we got through it and love each other more because of it. FH's father passed away 10 years ago to pancreatic cancer and that is something that scares me. I know how fast he went, and I know that cancer is often hereditary. I've discussed with FH and the most we can do is make sure he goes for all his check ups and that we let all doctors know of the family history. The other major hurdle have been the 3 (yes count them 3) times that FH has gotten a MRSA infection (antibiotic resistant staff infection) - they are typically abscesses that occur on the skin and are often deadly - luckily we found his quick enough.... however I had to do all the draining (yuck) and cleaning, it smelled gross (take the worst infection and multiply by ten) but it was for FH, so I didn't mind.

---

Posted by smilesjc81

good question

my FH understands I have MS and is willing to be by my side even if that means Id come down the aisle in a wheelchair :)

He also has had a hard past, he went through a dark time.
He has over come SOOOOOOO much
I am so proud of him

We love each other despite our past and regardless of what looms in the future

we are both faced with shaky tomorrows- but i want all my tomorrows with him <3

---

Being in a wheelchair on my wedding day is my worst fear too!!!! If I get to walk down that aisle I will be eternally grateful for having that opportunity!!!

---

Posted by jesstangney

I want to thank you all for sharing your stories... Ren - Your story is so touching, I wish you good health, I've known many people in my family and friends with MS ( my cousin was diagnosed last year at age 51, for some reason we don't get hit with it until our 50's in our family).

Loving unconditionally means dealing with all the problems at hand and loving that person because you can get through them, and getting through them because you love that person. Doing anything to help them, regardless of if they are asking for it. FH lost his job a year ago and spent (luckily) 2 months out of work, we had moved 3 hours away from home for this job too. That was a rough time - in fact that whole year upstate ****** - but we got through it and love each other more because of it. FH's father passed away 10 years ago to pancreatic cancer and that is something that scares me. I know how fast he went, and I know that cancer is often hereditary. I've discussed with FH and the most we can do is make sure he goes for all his check ups and that we let all doctors know of the family history. The other major hurdle have been the 3 (yes count them 3) times that FH has gotten a MRSA infection (antibiotic resistant staff infection) - they are typically abscesses that occur on the skin and are often deadly - luckily we found his quick enough.... however I had to do all the draining (yuck) and cleaning, it smelled gross (take the worst infection and multiply by ten) but it was for FH, so I didn't mind.

---

So sorry to hear about FH's Dad Jess, thanks for sharing your story.

---

Posted by PazzaRagazza

Ren:

I love this question.... so much that i sit here and want tocry. Thanks!!!! xoxo


For me loving Joey unconditionally is just so easy.... i'll do anything for him... he gets embarrassed easily and so i just try and make him as comfortable as possible. Theres nothing i wouldnt do for him.

He slept an entire week by my side in the hospital.... it was the sweetest thing. He was terrified.... i was ok... just had a G Tube.... and it just freaked him out. He uploaded my favorite movies on his lap top, brushed my hair, helped me walk the halls with my tubes and machines.

The kicker for me-- when i went to the doctor two weeks after to get my stomach drain removed.... i cried out in pain and he laughed..... and the doctor laughed and said you better not have this guy in the delivery room with you.... when i asked him in the car why he laughed he told me it was his defense mechanism so he wouldnt cry because he felt so bad for me <3

---

Liz you have an amazing man!!!!!!!!!!!!

For me, loving someone unconditionally means you love them despite any obstacles, any health issues, any family issues and no matter your love just doesn't waiver.

My story:
I was diagnosed with a disease called sarcoidosis...it's relatively rare with no known causes and no cure. (Basically it's a disease that creates these granulomas to lump together in any muscle or organ such as lungs, eyes, brain, heart, skin, ANYTHING which can cause bad lungs, blindness, even death) Leading up to the diagnosis I underwent a battery of tests and was told that doctors thought I had cancer twice. After thoracic surgery (where they removed lumps in my lung and some lymph nodes) they diagnosed me and I have since had to undergo various medical procedures, endless doctor appointments etc... Obviously this is a lot to handle for a person and my mental health suffered causing me to be depressed which led to weight gain etc.. etc... Anyway, FH remains my constant. He is optimistic and supportive. He doesn't care if the disease spreads to other organs making me sicker. He loves me for me and someone who can still love you admist all this (and some other issues we've had to deal with in our relationship) that is someone who will unconditionally be there. For this, I love him more than anything - to see how steadfast he is about our relationship makes me feel like we can conquer anything as long as we have each other.

---

Posted by rendel

and hell if I don't then I know FH will still be there!!!!!!!!!! MS is so unpredictable, but we have to be positive!!!!!!!!!!!!

---

exactly!! i'm trusting i;ll be skipping down the aisle LOL

but limping, dragging my foot, or crawling Ill get my @$$ up there and my FH will be MORE than happy to meet me at the end of it

it's why i love him- no matter what- if he had to LITERALLY carry me over the threshold of our home he would :) :)