QOTD

Something came up last night and I was curious how everyone else felt.

Ok i was flipping through the channels and for 5 mins saw that Tyra had the topic teen pregnancy. One girl was 13 years old and pregnant and spoke about how she found out. Her 13 year old friend has been trying to get pregnant so she bought the home test and told her friend to just try it and she was pregnant. Her sister has been raising her, and she said that she wished she put her on birth control once she got her at the age of 12. Dh turns around and says like she was supposed to know to do that with a 12 year old but '14 maybe to start?' once he said that i thought 'i dont know about that' i feel like you're giving your kid permission by taking them to get birth control. Yes I understand the whole BUT they will do it regardless. I agree with sex ed in school and giving out condoms. But if i thought my teenage kid might be having sex. I dont think my first response would be to get them on birth control. I would try maybe locking them up in their room forever lol jk, but seriously i would try other things first. Maybe have them talk to teenage pregnant moms and sharing their experience with them. Go somewhere that a person with AIDS is publically speaking to educate people about this and really get it into their heads.

Its not one of those issues where i am strong for or strongly against, so i can see both sides but dont think i could do it.

But would you put your 13 or 14 year old daughter on BC?

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Posted by Kimbalina

No i would not. I would hope that the values and morals my mom taught me.. and also my fear of being pregnant would show through to my child too.

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Its so weird but i was shocked when DH was for it. He is usually so the opposite with this and he says he wont allow his daughter to date until shes out of HS hahaha. So I dont know where that came from lol.

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by Kimbalina

No i would not. I would hope that the values and morals my mom taught me.. and also my fear of being pregnant would show through to my child too.

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Its so weird but i was shocked when DH was for it. He is usually so the opposite with this and he says he wont allow his daughter to date until shes out of HS hahaha. So I dont know where that came from lol.

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He most likely realizes that things happen and doesnt want a baby to come out of it.

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Posted by Kimbalina

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by Kimbalina

No i would not. I would hope that the values and morals my mom taught me.. and also my fear of being pregnant would show through to my child too.

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Its so weird but i was shocked when DH was for it. He is usually so the opposite with this and he says he wont allow his daughter to date until shes out of HS hahaha. So I dont know where that came from lol.

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He most likely realizes that things happen and doesnt want a baby to come out of it.

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Yeah true. He is also pro-life so thats why he probably feels that way too, probably afraid of that.

I may get slammed for this- but I will do my best to raise my kids so that they dont require birth control until they are a little older BUT if they are gonna have sex- they are gonna do it & I will protect my child & put them on birth control.

I just dont want my babies having babies- until they are old enough & married!

I saw this episode and I was absolutely disturbed. There were way too many girls under 15 pregnant on the stage. Many of the girls were talking about how it's 'normal' for kids to start having sex at 12 in this day and age. It is NOT NORMAL! Obviously these children are seeking love that they are not getting from their homes and they are in need of some obvious help.

To answer your question, I would NOT put my 13 or 14 year old on BC. I understand the standpoint of 'If they are going to do it, I want them to be protected'.. don't get me wrong... I just think by doing it, you are basically saying 'It's ok if you are protected' when it's really not OK.

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Posted by futuremrsfab

I may get slammed for this- but I will do my best to raise my kids so that they dont require birth control until they are a little older BUT if they are gonna have sex- they are gonna do it & I will protect my child & put them on birth control.

I just dont want my babies having babies- until they are old enough & married!

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You wont get slammed. Youre entitled to your opinion. And its such a hard decision so I can see why somebody would.

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Posted by Maria31

I saw this episode and I was absolutely disturbed. There were way too many girls under 15 pregnant on the stage. Many of the girls were talking about how it's 'normal' for kids to start having sex at 12 in this day and age. It is NOT NORMAL! Obviously these children are seeking love that they are not getting from their homes and they are in need of some obvious help.

To answer your question, I would NOT put my 13 or 14 year old on BC. I understand the standpoint of 'If they are going to do it, I want them to be protected'.. don't get me wrong... I just think by doing it, you are basically saying 'It's ok if you are protected' when it's really not OK.

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I know, i ended up changing the channel. Some of the girls purposely try to get pregnant. If youre kid is trying to get pregnant then obviously something is missing in their life, like you said. I dont understand it, i never wanted a kid when i was a teenager. Its funny bc as teenagers they all want to go out and have fun all the time, and date guys and do all these things. But don't they realize that once you have a kid you dont get to do all those things anymore.

That is what im afraid of, i feel that by doing so its basically saying its ok to have sex. Teenagers wouldn't see it as, my parents just want to make sure nothing bad happens. They'll go around saying, well my parents know i have sex, they put me on bc so its ok.

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Posted by futuremrsfab

I just dont want my babies having babies- until they are old enough & married!

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ITA. While I would try to do everything in my power to get my child to wait. I think I would eventually give them the bc if I thought that they were going to continue to be sexually active. However, I think the girls on Tyra were put on bc as a first response kind of thing. (i didnt see the show, but this is the impression Im getting)

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by Maria31

I saw this episode and I was absolutely disturbed. There were way too many girls under 15 pregnant on the stage. Many of the girls were talking about how it's 'normal' for kids to start having sex at 12 in this day and age. It is NOT NORMAL! Obviously these children are seeking love that they are not getting from their homes and they are in need of some obvious help.

To answer your question, I would NOT put my 13 or 14 year old on BC. I understand the standpoint of 'If they are going to do it, I want them to be protected'.. don't get me wrong... I just think by doing it, you are basically saying 'It's ok if you are protected' when it's really not OK.

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I know, i ended up changing the channel. Some of the girls purposely try to get pregnant. If youre kid is trying to get pregnant then obviously something is missing in their life, like you said. I dont understand it, i never wanted a kid when i was a teenager. Its funny bc as teenagers they all want to go out and have fun all the time, and date guys and do all these things. But don't they realize that once you have a kid you dont get to do all those things anymore.

That is what im afraid of, i feel that by doing so its basically saying its ok to have sex. Teenagers wouldn't see it as, my parents just want to make sure nothing bad happens. They'll go around saying, well my parents know i have sex, they put me on bc so its ok.

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ITA with you.

It's so sad how much times have changed from when we were growing up... I was literally still playing with dolls at the age of 12.. and had no clue what the hell sex was!

i dont agree with this - but i do think that its normal to have sex at 13-16 in this day and age - not saying i agree with it BUT its reality - id say that a lot of freshmen in high school are already having sex....if i knew my kid was having sex id put them on the pill and stress the importance of condoms (for disease)....if your kid already started having sex do you really think that they are going to stop just because you asked them too? i dont think so....i know what i was doing with my boyfriend at 16 it makes me want to vomit but thats reality....my sister just turned 17 and last year when she was 16 my mom and i were trying to find out how far she got with her boyfriend - i mean, its not something you want to know and i was really upset thinking about what she might be doing but my mother said that if i found out she was having sex to talk to her about going on the pill - so ive been telling my sister that if she is going to do it to tell me or my mom and we'll get her birth control....she hasnt come to us yet and im pretty sure she hasnt done it - i hope not - but you never know....so i guess yeah, i would put them on it.....better than having to drag them to the clinic after its to late....because thats what i would do with my 13 year old if she got pregnant...

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Posted by Maria31

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Posted by Espo22

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Posted by Maria31

I saw this episode and I was absolutely disturbed. There were way too many girls under 15 pregnant on the stage. Many of the girls were talking about how it's 'normal' for kids to start having sex at 12 in this day and age. It is NOT NORMAL! Obviously these children are seeking love that they are not getting from their homes and they are in need of some obvious help.

To answer your question, I would NOT put my 13 or 14 year old on BC. I understand the standpoint of 'If they are going to do it, I want them to be protected'.. don't get me wrong... I just think by doing it, you are basically saying 'It's ok if you are protected' when it's really not OK.

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I know, i ended up changing the channel. Some of the girls purposely try to get pregnant. If youre kid is trying to get pregnant then obviously something is missing in their life, like you said. I dont understand it, i never wanted a kid when i was a teenager. Its funny bc as teenagers they all want to go out and have fun all the time, and date guys and do all these things. But don't they realize that once you have a kid you dont get to do all those things anymore.

That is what im afraid of, i feel that by doing so its basically saying its ok to have sex. Teenagers wouldn't see it as, my parents just want to make sure nothing bad happens. They'll go around saying, well my parents know i have sex, they put me on bc so its ok.

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ITA with you.

It's so sad how much times have changed from when we were growing up... I was literally still playing with dolls at the age of 12.. and had no clue what the hell sex was!

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i dont know, dont think its changed that much. I remember people having sex, and even in the mid 90's kids growing up faster than they should. I think teen pregnancy was actually higher in the mid 90's than it is now. Infact i read that the teen pregnancy rate has gown done. Although just recently they say theres been a teen pregnancy epidemic again.

This scares me. I would hope that DH and I could raise our children so that they wouldn't be needing birth control at such a young age... but sometimes you do your best and it's still not enough.

I think 12 is too young to put someone on the pill -- your body is still developing and you still have to be responsible enough to take it at the same time, remember to take it, etc. Plus, it doesn't protect against STDs, HIV, etc.

I would, however, give my child access to condoms if they needed it.

I don't think preventing pregnancy should be the goal, safe sex and learning to be responsible and protecting themselves should be. I'd be afraid that someone that young might think they could do anything without consequences not being on the pill, and rely on that as the sole form of protection (again, the pill does not protect against STDs, HIV, etc)

I would stress all of the potential risks, encourage my child to wait as long as possible, but tell them if they did do it they needed to be as safe as possible

I am so not ready for kids yet!

Hmmm.....I think I will always be open and honest about sex and if that means talking to my daughter at 13 about then I will. BUT I will try to instill morals and also let my daughter know that she can talk to me if she feels she is ready to take that step. I would hope she could come to me regardless of age and say, 'Mom, I think I need birth control' I dont ever want to make her feel like I would disown her or she would be punished because that would cause her to rebel against me and do it anyway. My mother was always very open about sex and always said we should wait til were old enough to handle something as serious as sex. I ended up waiting until I was 21 and Ive only been with my DH. I always wanted to make her proud. But thats just my story, I know girls who were having sex at 13. And they were mostly girls who either had very strict parents or parents who gave them too much freedom. Im going to try to be in between. I know its hard to say now, now that I have no kids. But this is what Im going to try to do.

Sorry about the story, I guess the cliff notes of my post is, I would try to let my daughter know she can talk to me if she ever felt like she was going to take that step. And I would try to talk her out of it and tell her to wait but I would have the BC handy in case.

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Posted by Maria31
ITA with you.

It's so sad how much times have changed from when we were growing up... I was literally still playing with dolls at the age of 12.. and had no clue what the hell sex was!

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Honestly i could not have said it better myself.... i was lucky if i was even kissing a boy, let alone think about sex..... it really scares me the world we are living in today... makes me so nervous about having kids and what the world is like around them..... i just hope i can instill in the the same values that my family has instilled in me

But to get to your question, i do not want my 13 year old child on BC, i will hopefully be able to teach them about waiting, and i am not saying that they have to wait till they get married, but at least wait till their old enough to undertsnad what love really is. if they were 18 than thats another story, i have no problem with them taking BC

My sister is going to be 14 in a couple of days and i think i would beat her if she was even thinking about having sex..... she is still such a baby in my eyes.....

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Posted by Future Mulligan

i dont agree with this - but i do think that its normal to have sex at 13-16 in this day and age - not saying i agree with it BUT its reality - id say that a lot of freshmen in high school are already having sex....if i knew my kid was having sex id put them on the pill and stress the importance of condoms (for disease)....if your kid already started having sex do you really think that they are going to stop just because you asked them too? i dont think so....i know what i was doing with my boyfriend at 16 it makes me want to vomit but thats reality....my sister just turned 17 and last year when she was 16 my mom and i were trying to find out how far she got with her boyfriend - i mean, its not something you want to know and i was really upset thinking about what she might be doing but my mother said that if i found out she was having sex to talk to her about going on the pill - so ive been telling my sister that if she is going to do it to tell me or my mom and we'll get her birth control....she hasnt come to us yet and im pretty sure she hasnt done it - i hope not - but you never know....so i guess yeah, i would put them on it.....better than having to drag them to the clinic after its to late....because thats what i would do with my 13 year old if she got pregnant...

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i think i would send them to boot camp first haha, and im not even kidding. I grew up too quickly too and i think Dh thought i would feel differently bc of that reason i told him that since i grew up too quick, i know all the tricks and i wont believe none of that ' i am sleeping over my friends house BS' we used to do that and go out to clubs lol.

I understand the whole concept, but i think some parents JUST take their kids in to put them on BC and thats it. There has to be more education that goes along with it. SOme kids do get scared by seeing in front of them what can happen with the choices you make. Ive seen on shows how kids were taken to a prison to talk to convincts and how it scared them to know what really can happen. Ive seen a show with teenage drinking, and there was a program where the kids were taken to talk about it, then taken to a morgue to see those who died bc of drinking and driving. Then after they scared them by taking them to a place where they put up a tombstone in their name and show the reason they died.

I also think teenage girls have a misconception that guys like a girl that gives it up to them and they become promiscuous. But maybe if they saw what these guys actually think of them, and that they only care to have sex with them but not date them. And then letting it be known that if youve been around the block many times for years, that later on when you do like a guy he will not want to date you just for that reason.

I just think more has to be done than JUST a teenager put on BC and hoping for the best.

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Posted by Songstress

Hmmm.....I think I will always be open and honest about sex and if that means talking to my daughter at 13 about then I will. BUT I will try to instill morals and also let my daughter know that she can talk to me if she feels she is ready to take that step. I would hope she could come to me regardless of age and say, 'Mom, I think I need birth control' I dont ever want to make her feel like I would disown her or she would be punished because that would cause her to rebel against me and do it anyway. My mother was always very open about sex and always said we should wait til were old enough to handle something as serious as sex. I ended up waiting until I was 21 and Ive only been with my DH. I always wanted to make her proud. But thats just my story, I know girls who were having sex at 13. And they were mostly girls who either had very strict parents or parents who gave them too much freedom. Im going to try to be in between. I know its hard to say now, now that I have no kids. But this is what Im going to try to do.

Sorry about the story, I guess the cliff notes of my post is, I would try to let my daughter know she can talk to me if she ever felt like she was going to take that step. And I would try to talk her out of it and tell her to wait but I would have the BC handy in case.

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i agree......i dont think i was ever THAT comfortable talking about sex with my mom (because its your mom! ) BUT i did.....i told her stuff, i was afraid, but i still told her, and she didnt disown me and she was so happy that i came to her to talk about things.....so i try to tell my sister that she can tell my mom anything and that she is understanding....it helps when you have an understanding parent, and my mom was honest with me about her past too - i think it made us very trusting of eachother and close.....

so i totally agree that its good to have a somewhat open relationship with your kids when it comes to sex - you never want them to feel dirty, or ashamed then they'll never tell you anything - but at the same time you dont want to encourage them but i think my mom did an excellent job and she was always there for me -and still is!