question, please respond

Hi everyone, I am a pretty regular poster here, but I wanted to keep myself anonymous for this.

How would you feel if you were invited to a wedding of a fellow LIW bride, but verbally, not with an invite - sort of as a 'B' list person - for example, if someone did not make her minimum and asked you attend so she wouldn't have to pay for empty seats.
Would you feel insulted? Or not want to go because then you would feel obligated to give a gift?
Please give me your honest thoughts. TIA

wow. I guess it's a personal thing. I would not be insulted one bit, b/c I went through the whole thing with room constraints, having to invite people you may not have wanted to, instead of those you really liked...

also, I am sure the girls would agree, when I first signed on to this site, I never expected to really like so many people, let alone think I would be one day wishing they could come to my wedding.

most of us booked our halls/room before that happened.

and I would actually be HONORED and HAPPY to help bail someone out of a jam.

If you feel like you may be insulted, maybe you should just decline.

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Posted by JessicaM.

wow. I guess it's a personal thing. I would not be insulted one bit, b/c I went through the whole thing with room constraints, having to invite people you may not have wanted to, instead of those you really liked...

also, I am sure the girls would agree, when I first signed on to this site, I never expected to really like so many people, let alone think I would be one day wishing they could come to my wedding.

most of us booked our halls/room before that happened.

and I would actually be HONORED and HAPPY to help bail someone out of a jam.

If you feel like you may be insulted, maybe you should just decline.

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well said.

I think it is a nice gesture and agree with the above posters -- we all have problems with minimums, etc.. and I have people on here I'd really like to come, but at this point my guest list is maxed out --- however, if I get a lot of Nos, I would really like some of my newfound friends to come, and I would hate to pay for dinners that no one is eating. I would hope that that wouldn't offend anyone, especially considering we all just know each other based on posts and FMs.

JMO :)

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Posted by MayBride06

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Posted by JessicaM.

wow. I guess it's a personal thing. I would not be insulted one bit, b/c I went through the whole thing with room constraints, having to invite people you may not have wanted to, instead of those you really liked...

also, I am sure the girls would agree, when I first signed on to this site, I never expected to really like so many people, let alone think I would be one day wishing they could come to my wedding.

most of us booked our halls/room before that happened.

and I would actually be HONORED and HAPPY to help bail someone out of a jam.

If you feel like you may be insulted, maybe you should just decline.

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well said.

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Very well said!

I too was invited last minute to a wedding. My sister's best friend asked my sister to ask me if me and my FH wanted to go to her wedding about 2 weeks before the wedding. She did not meet her minimum and was trying to fill some seats. I did not feel insulted at all, but I also did not go. The reason why I did not go was because I was not very close to her (as you can see she asked my sister to ask me - so it is not like we talk on the phone or anything). You have to do what you feel comfortable doing, but I would not be insulted that you were asked last minute.

I would not be offended at ALL!!!!! After all...we all know what it is like to plan a wedding and when we dont meet the minimum.. it is a total waste of money, and thats HORRIBLE considering all the money that we spend! Im sure most of us would totally understand , because this can happen to any one of us.
Another reason why I would be honored because out of all the brides on this site, someone would be nice enough to want to invite me to share in what is the most important day in their lives!! To me, that is quite an honor.. I would be FLATTERED- not insulted.

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Posted by MayBride06

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Posted by JessicaM.

wow. I guess it's a personal thing. I would not be insulted one bit, b/c I went through the whole thing with room constraints, having to invite people you may not have wanted to, instead of those you really liked...

also, I am sure the girls would agree, when I first signed on to this site, I never expected to really like so many people, let alone think I would be one day wishing they could come to my wedding.

most of us booked our halls/room before that happened.

and I would actually be HONORED and HAPPY to help bail someone out of a jam.

If you feel like you may be insulted, maybe you should just decline.

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well said.

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Yes, I agree with this too! We all know how it is to be in a jam, and that we would have loved to invite more people and then couldn't. If I was asked I would definitely not be insulted!

I wouldn't be insulted at all. We're all brides here and fully understand the whole process of invites and everything.

I do want to say this though...as someone who did invite some LIW brides after my initial invites went out (and I am so happy you are coming girls! ) I feel badly for whoever extended the invite to you, if only because there are probably a few brides out there wondering who YOU are, and if they are the bride you may or may not be offended by.

maybe this would have been better as an fm, so a few brides you are comfortable with asking. JMHO.

I have no problem with that. Since most of us met through these boards, and some are closer than others, etc., if a verbal invitation gets extended to us from a fellow LIW bride, we either have a choice to say yes or no, correct? So its not like your long term friend has asked you verbally to come to her wedding, but rather someone who you just met...

ETA: As far as the gift goes, how can you even think about going to a function and not bring a gift...if you cant afford one or dont want to give one...DONT GO.

I personally got invited to a few wedding from my fellow LIW brides (you know who you are and I love ya ) and I was honored! From one I got a beautiful invite and from the other I received an 'FM invite'...either way I felt honored, and I will attend their weddings bc I think they're great girls, I care about them and Im very happy for them!

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Posted by JessicaM.

I do want to say this though...as someone who did invite some LIW brides after my initial invites went out (and I am so happy you are coming girls! ) I feel badly for whoever extended the invite to you, if only because there are probably a few brides out there wondering who YOU are, and if they are the bride you may or may not be offended by.

maybe this would have been better as an fm, so a few brides you are comfortable with asking. JMHO.

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Maybe she is planning on doing this herself?

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Posted by Jen2999

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Posted by JessicaM.

I do want to say this though...as someone who did invite some LIW brides after my initial invites went out (and I am so happy you are coming girls! ) I feel badly for whoever extended the invite to you, if only because there are probably a few brides out there wondering who YOU are, and if they are the bride you may or may not be offended by.

maybe this would have been better as an fm, so a few brides you are comfortable with asking. JMHO.

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Maybe she is planning on doing this herself?

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I was thinking the same thing.....

Personally I'd be honored and flattered.

I don't care when or on what terms I was invited to a wedding.

It's a honored privledge to share in one of the most intimate times of someone's life, and I would never even think to not attend b/c I didn't recieve a 'paper' invitation or at the 'last minute.'

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Posted by ChrissynRicky

I don't care when or on what terms I was invited to a wedding.

It's a honored privledge to share in one of the most intimate times of someone's life, and I would never even think to not attend b/c I didn't recieve a 'paper' invitation or at the 'last minute.'

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ditto!

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Posted by SweetCin704

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Posted by Jen2999

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Posted by JessicaM.

I do want to say this though...as someone who did invite some LIW brides after my initial invites went out (and I am so happy you are coming girls! ) I feel badly for whoever extended the invite to you, if only because there are probably a few brides out there wondering who YOU are, and if they are the bride you may or may not be offended by.

maybe this would have been better as an fm, so a few brides you are comfortable with asking. JMHO.

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Maybe she is planning on doing this herself?

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I was thinking the same thing.....

Personally I'd be honored and flattered.

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that's a good point girls, and one I obviously didn't think of...

I just wish the poster would clarify. thanks!