OK, so I decided when we booked the Bourne Mansion that I would rather get married at the RH because it is on a Sunday and many people said we couldnt do a church ceremony before 3pm because of Sunday Mass. We are having the ceremony at 2pm because I didnt want to end too late on a Sunday (we are ending at 8pm now). My fiance said he was going to try and find a priest to come and do the ceremony because it would make both of our parents happy, I didnt think we could find a priest to do that but his parents volunteered to ask their priest. Well they asked today and the priest said that no priest would do that (kinda what I thought) and addition to that our marriage would not be recognized by the church AND we could never baptize our children. I happen to know couples that got married at the RH and have had their children baptized so I dont think that is completely true but now his parents are upset and want us to move it to a church. I dont know what to do, I really did not want a Sunday wedding that ended too late and by doing this our wedding wouldnt end until at least 10pm. What should I do?
bowlergyal
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Re: Question to girls getting married at RH
I would double check that rule. My son was babptized Catholic, but I am not..his father is and we were not married at the time. I also know my girlfriend got married at the Justice of Peace and her kids were still baptized Catholic. This was at the same church... St. Brigid's. HTH
Bride2Be78
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Re: Question to girls getting married at RH
What I found out is that priest cannot marry you outside of the church. The baptism part is totally false. I believe at least one parent must be Catholic in order to baptize regardless of whether you were married by the church or not. However, the godparents must both be Catholic. HTH
We have this same issue. We are getting married at our venue & later on will do a renewal of vows at the church. Good luck.
KroertGS
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Re: Question to girls getting married at RH
My church has the same policy that your FH's parent's priest stated. If we are not married in a church, it will not be recognized as a Catholic sacarament, and we will not be able to baptize our children. I've heard it depends on the church and how lenient they are, but so far, this seems to be the standard policy that I've come across.
BklynBabe1624
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Re: Question to girls getting married at RH
I inquired a lot about this and even sat down with my priest. In the Catholic religion, the Church does not recogonize any sacraments that are performed outside of church. All sacaraments are to be performed in Church.
A Roman Catholic priest will not come and marry any couple in a reception hall. However, other Christian officiants will. Even civil officiants will. My cousin went onto rentapriest.com to marry her husband. He provided a religious ceremony.
If you choose to be married at the RH, you can ask your church to marry you and your FH. It would not be called a 'vow renewal' as this is the 1st time you will be married in the Church.
As far as the baptism goes, you can infact have your children baptist in Church regardless if you and your husband were not married by the Church. Most parishes will welcome you and your family as long as you want to raise your children Catholic. If you need anymore information on this, I can provide you with my priests' information as well as a couple of churches who will allow you to baptist your future children.
Best of luck to you =)
xtina27
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Re: Question to girls getting married at RH
Thank you for all your feedback, I was thinking of renewing my vows/getting remarried at a church a year or so after we get married at Bourne Mansion, maybe ill look into that. I have to talk about it with fh and see what he thinks. At this point I would move it to a church if they can do it any earlier than 3pm on a sunday. I told my fiance to call the church tomorrow and see what they can do.
FromGtoC
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Re: Question to girls getting married at RH
This might help
'Permission may also be granted to celebrate such a marriage in the home or even an interfaith chapel or a catering hall chapel. In these cases the “green form” is submitted for the necessary permissions, dispensations or delegation. Examples of appropriate places for weddings of Catholics to unbaptized persons in the Diocese of Rockville Centre:
Indoors in the home Interfaith chapel Catering hall chapel'
This is from the diocese of Rockville Centre's website (http://www.drvc.org/the-chancery/catholic-marriage.html). If you get married indoors you are ok; outside in a gazebo does not count.
ksugar44
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Re: Question to girls getting married at RH
We are using Monsignor Lisante from our lady of Lourdes in Massapequa. We are getting married at the RH. He is doing a Catholic ceremony. We still have to do pre cana and our marriage will be recognized by the church. We do however have to have him do a private ceremony in the church a few weeks before, but no one will know! He usually does interfaith but sometimes does two Catholics. You have to call and ask. He is wonderful!!!!!! website
futuremrsznyc
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Re: Question to girls getting married at RH
There's also an order of married 'priests' I think. Men that used to be priests but left to get married. Not sure how religious you are, but that might be an option. My friend's dad is Father Mike Callahan, and he was a Catholic priest. He left the church to start a family, but he is still super religious and does weddings, etc. We're thinking about using him. I've also heard of a Father Bob and a couple of other men like that. That way you could have a Catholic ceremony, but that marriage prob isn't recognized by church I guess?
KSugar's solution sounds good!
Evan820
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Re: Question to girls getting married at RH
I realize it is unorthodox in the catholic faith, but can you get married a day or so before in a church and then have your full ceremony at the bourne? I don't know if you are allowed, but you could make a weekend of it- getting married on friday or sat with just your families and then the big deal on sunday...
KroertGS
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Re: Question to girls getting married at RH
Posted by Evan820
I realize it is unorthodox in the catholic faith, but can you get married a day or so before in a church and then have your full ceremony at the bourne? I don't know if you are allowed, but you could make a weekend of it- getting married on friday or sat with just your families and then the big deal on sunday...
I so wanted to do this and I really considered it!!! But then you have to figure double hair, makeup, dress for you, your bridal party and family. If you want pictures, double photog...etc
Evan820
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Re: Question to girls getting married at RH
Posted by KroertGS
Posted by Evan820
I realize it is unorthodox in the catholic faith, but can you get married a day or so before in a church and then have your full ceremony at the bourne? I don't know if you are allowed, but you could make a weekend of it- getting married on friday or sat with just your families and then the big deal on sunday...
I so wanted to do this and I really considered it!!! But then you have to figure double hair, makeup, dress for you, your bridal party and family. If you want pictures, double photog...etc
oh i guess i was thinking more casual- off the rack nice white dress (not wedding gown),suit for the groom, just family dressed for church...really just a ceremony, the real 'wedding' would happen on sunday. Treating this more as an event that leads up to the wedding. I am thinking of it in relation to a ketubah signing. You sign it and your married, even though you haven’t had the ceremony yet
xtina27
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Re: Question to girls getting married at RH
Well I decided to look into a church and contacted St. Patricks in Bayshore which the RH recommended. I just realized though that I am getting married on St Patricks Day and there is a parade in Bayshore which basically starts and ends at the church right when I would want to have the ceremony so there goes that idea. I am going to think about having a church ceremony on a different date, Thanks for all your help!
