My advice would be do NOT put gifts under 20$ becuase if you do, it means you want it, and some people will buy it....
flibbertigibbet
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Re: Registry Vent
Posted by FutureMrsG
Posted by weddingbees
... but you don't think its bad etiquette to complain about a gift that people aren't required to give?
seriously?
You are right people do not need to give a gift at all but it feels really bad when you take the time to plan an event taking your guests needs into consideration and then they give a gift that they clearly put no thought into...what is the saying...It is the thought that counts...I hear what you are saying but I do not think etiquette dictates hurt feelings. We would all like to say we do not care if we get gifts on special occasions but most people do.
Wait a second. So they bought a gift off her registry for say $20 and you think it's thoughtless.
So... if they bought an item that was like $300 ...would it be anymore thoughtful?
Seriously? Do you know what thoughtful means?
summerbride20
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Re: Registry Vent
Posted by GlitterBox24
My advice would be do NOT put gifts under 20$ becuase if you do, it means you want it, and some people will buy it....
That's good advice for when you are registering. We wanted people to have cheaper options for the engagement party or congratulations gifts, we never put much thought into it for the wedding. If I did, I would have taken off the smaller items.
summerbride20
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Re: Registry Vent
elp6421
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Re: Registry Vent
Hmm... I totally understand how you are feeling!! Being a bride myself.
But that being said I am originally from Ohio and I can tell you that is pretty much the standard gift in some places besides NY. I *think* most people honestly are not expecting the extravagant weddings that are the norm for LI. I know I was pretty blown away by the first LI wedding I attended.
So, I guess what I am saying is if these gifts were bought by OOT guests - cut them a little slack!!!
There's no point in worrying about what people are and are not gifting you because you don't have control of it! And besides, that's not the point of the day, right???
Shallots
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Re: Registry Vent
Dude. I don't know about you, but we're gonna use that spatula and peeler a lot more than we use four good wine glasses. And we're going to be thrilled that someone took the time out to think of us at all.
panthern1
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Re: Registry Vent
I totally understand where you are coming from. I always make sure to cover my seat and give a little on top, but FH and i went into this with the expectation of loosing money. I have thrown countless parties and just know that not everyone understands that they have to bring a gift. If someone doesn't have the means to get an expensive gift i cant get mad because at the end of the day i invited them to share the day with us and not for their gift.
When my grandparents came to this country they were invited to a bday party of a nephew. Being that they just arrived and had absolutely no money they gave $100 for 3 ppl. My grandfather's sister(her son's bday) actually got mad at them and caused a fight. So the point is if you don't expect an expensive gift then you wont be disappointed. You have to understand ppl's situations and for a lot of people its not so good right now.
SerenityEthereal
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Re: Registry Vent
Posted by Shallots
Dude. I don't know about you, but we're gonna use that spatula and peeler a lot more than we use four good wine glasses. And we're going to be thrilled that someone took the time out to think of us at all.
*high five!*
I was just saying the same exact thing! lol
summerbride20
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Re: Registry Vent
We entertain a lot. So our china and wine glasses will be well used!
joctorre
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Re: Registry Vent
maybe someone bought it who is RSVPing no???
Do you know who bought these things? Maybe they're coupling it with some money or something else??? (or maybe they bought it at different times and it IS a gift from one person?)
I understand your frustration and the need to vent, but dont' stress too much over it. Stress over the other stuff that is more stressful!!! You never know... and you might be getting frustrated over nothing.....
But, here's a for you!!!
Fruitloop
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Re: Registry Vent
Are you sure that people aren't buying things for you for your shower?
I understand what you're saying (I always try to give a good amount of $$$), but at least people are buying you things from your registry. One of my mom's friends kept asking my mom where I registered before my e-party but when the party came around she gave me a hideous gift that I couldn't even sell in a garage sale this weekend for $2. lol
We registered before our e-party and FH wouldn't put anything under $50 on there b/c he didn't want people to 'cheap out'... i snuck some cheaper items onto the registry and it turns out that the person that bought them bought a bunch so it added up to over $100. After the e-party we added more items of all different costs so that people would have plenty of options for my shower.
lela7378
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Re: Registry Vent
I agree.... many OOT guests (outside of NY) actually don't bring cash to weddings. I think that it is more of a NY thing to bring monetary gifts (I think).
20mrsc10
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it could also be people who aren't able to come..we got a few gifts from people bc of this already
FutureMrsG
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Re: Registry Vent
MrsSx2
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Re: Registry Vent
Wow, you totally sound like an ungrateful bride. Be happy anyone is buying you gifts at all. For serious....stop complaining that people are buying you things...you sound like a whiney ingrate.
JMO!
MikesBride2B
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Re: Registry Vent
Posted by FutureMrsG
Posted by weddingbees
Posted by FutureMrsG
Posted by weddingbees
... but you don't think its bad etiquette to complain about a gift that people aren't required to give?
seriously?
You are right people do not need to give a gift at all but it feels really bad when you take the time to plan an event taking your guests needs into consideration and then they give a gift that they clearly put no thought into...what is the saying...It is the thought that counts...I hear what you are saying but I do not think etiquette dictates hurt feelings. We would all like to say we do not care if we get gifts on special occasions but most people do.
Wait a second. So they bought a gift off her registry for say $20 and you think it's thoughtless.
So... if they bought an item that was like $300 ...would it be anymore thoughtful?
Seriously? Do you know what thoughtful means?
Thought·ful –adjective 1- characterized by or manifesting careful thought 2-occupied with or given to thought; contemplative; meditative; reflective: in a thoughtful mood. 3-careful, heedful, or mindful: to be thoughtful of one's safety.
Yes, I know what thoughtful means but seriously since when does a potato peeler scream happily ever after?? There are plenty of $20 gifts that are more appropriate for a wedding.
I don't think a stand mixer screams 'happily ever after' any more than a potato peeler does...if a potato peeler isn't wedding appropriate than why register for it?? I'll tell you why, because these are things that are needed for our new lives. Who are we to say what is or isn't appropriate?? If you don't think it is, then don't register for it. If you register for it and someone buys it for you, then be grateful they thought of you enough to go onto your registry and pick something out. I can tell you anything that anyone is willing to give me, I am happy to have it. Times are still hard for a lot of people, many are without jobs (including many on these boards) so the fact that they buy at all to me is a nice thing. We got $25 with a no response but it came from people who we know are hard up for cash...the fact that they gave it at all when they need it themselves means so much to be.
Weddings make people crazy.
flibbertigibbet
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Re: Registry Vent
Weddings make crazy.
But some people are just rude.
And I'm obviously talking about people who write on boards about not getting nice enough presents.
Go be 4 years old.
'But MOM. I wanted pretty, pretty princesssss WAHHHH'
summerbride20
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Re: Registry Vent
Posted by weddingbees
Weddings make crazy.
But some people are just rude.
And I'm obviously talking about people who write on boards about not getting nice enough presents.
Go be 4 years old.
'But MOM. I wanted pretty, pretty princesssss WAHHHH'
Wow... that's just too childish to respond to. If you don't like my vent, stop wasting your time re-reading this thread and responding to it.
flibbertigibbet
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Re: Registry Vent
You're complaining because someone gave you a present you don't think is 'good enough.'
Read that again.
Once more.
Twice more?
Still don't see how that's immature?
Okay. Please buy tickets to an Oceanic flight please, k, thx.
summerbride20
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Re: Registry Vent
Posted by weddingbees
You're complaining because someone gave you a present you don't think is 'good enough.'
Read that again.
Once more.
Twice more?
Still don't see how that's immature?
Okay. Please buy tickets to an Oceanic flight please, k, thx.
You don't think it's immature that you are bashing someone you don't even know because of their own opinion? You're hinting that I should crash on an island and die? You think that makes you a mature, clever person? Keep coming back with responses all you want... You're not worth my time.