Sad and Brokenhearted

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Posted by Lana and Johan

I don't know what to do :(

6 years and I don't want it to end like this. We have a baby together and thought there was a future, but things will never change and he doesn't think it's serious.

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I would also have an issue with what you just described. I just think it's respectful to eachother to call when you will be late so the other person can SLEEP and have peace of mind.

Was there any resolution to the fight? Did he agree to call in the future?

Maybe you can compromise and say that he must call but you can't be negative when you answer. I'm not implying that you are but I used to avoid my mom's calls (when I was teenager) because I didn't want the third degree. After we agreed that if I call she can't nag me, we talk more often

If you love him and he loves you, talk everything to DEATH before you make any rash decisions.

I hope things work out for you. Dont call off the wedding or make any major decisions until things cool down.

Sorry you're going through this

Only you konw what is best for you & your family. I would imagine there are other things that are causing you to be so upset at the moment and even consider calling the wedding off. Have you mentioned that to him; or is it just something that is in your mind?

Def keep talking to him about it. Express to him that you're concerned for his saftey when you don't hear from him. And it's not that you're trying to control him or keep tabs; you have a baby. You're family is your main priority so it's expected that you'll worry about him. Just try to explain to him how important that is; and that all he needs to do in the future is send a text so you know he's ok

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Posted by Lana and Johan

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Posted by LoveyDovey

after 6 years of being together, you can't just give up

you should try to work it out, obviously if your hearts arent in it then it won't work

but if you love each other and cant imagine life without each other, it will work out!

and whoever suggested couples counseling has a great idea
sometimes you need a neutral party and a wake up call to make it work

I have a rec if you want one for counseling p.s.

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I don't want it to end. I don't want to be anywhere else but here, but we need to talk about this and he doesn't want to talk. He just wants to drop it. I was the one that wanted to talk to someone and have them help us. I think the movie 'why did I get married' was a perfect example and sometimes talking it out makes it all work!! Holding it in, ends relationships.

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he has to be willing to work it out and admit there is a problem

sometimes we take each other for granted
and if he knows he has gotten away with it before, he probably feels like this will blow over and everything will be back to normal

he needs to know you're seriously hurt and worried about your future

figure out a way to get through to him...only you know him so only you know how to do this

I'm so sorry that you are going through this

does he know you are willing to call off the wedding over this?

cause knowing that fact may make him listen.

He should want to give you peace of mind- it is important that before you get married he understand your need to feel secure, and safe. Being ignored does not make you feel safe, secure, or happy

My EX pull stuff like this, and that why he is my EX. SO I COMPLETELY UNDERSTAND WHERE YOU ARE COMING FROM

communication is soooo key.

he needs to feel 'safe' telling you where he is without fear that your gonna blow a gasket AND you should feel 'safe' knowing that when you call he will respond in a prompt manner.

DONT GIVE UP!!! you can work on this- He has to listen if you mean enough to him ( and Im guessing you do cause he asked you to marry him, and your raising a beautiful little boy together)

Ive so been here before. No worries. I think men think completely differently than we do.

You mentioned being a family. How is he at being a father? Does he watch the baby when you're not home and does he WANT to be a family?

I bet you say yes to these bc i doubt youd be planning a wedding otherwise.

I think you both need to compromise. I love the idea mentioned above this where he has to call but there wont be negativity. Just take some time to let things settle. Dont make any rushed decisions ok?

i read the story after my initial response. aside form what happened the other night there is probably much more to it than that

there has to be an underlying issue and although he just wants to brush it off, thats the immature thing to do. he needs to deal with it or else this could be the end

therapy, as the other girls suggested, is the best idea! he probably knew you would be pissed and didnt want to hear it. you need to come to a mutual understanding that he needs to change and you do too

espec having a baby tog, dont do anything rash. this is very fresh and nothing has even been done to fix it

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Posted by J79

i read the story after my initial response. aside form what happened the other night there is probably much more to it than that

there has to be an underlying issue and although he just wants to brush it off, thats the immature thing to do. he needs to deal with it or else this could be the end

therapy, as the other girls suggested, is the best idea! he probably knew you would be pissed and didnt want to hear it. you need to come to a mutual understanding that he needs to change and you do too

espec having a baby tog, dont do anything rash. this is very fresh and nothing has even been done to fix it

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ITA! IF you didn't have a child together I would say move on and pick you battles, but with a kid in the picture that is a very bad situation! IMO! Good Luck with everything!

o no!

I have a good friend who had really bad problems with her fiance at the time...i thought they shouldn't get married that's how bad they were with each other..they went to counseling, and they're been married 2 years nowand have a baby on the way... thy changed so much and are doing great now.

keep your head up!

So sorry you are going through this right now
If my FH did that, I would be very hurt as well, we also have a baby together so I understand. When you have a kid everything changes. You reallly just can't run around acting like your single anymore.
For the sake of your family, do not make any rash decisions. I'm sure things will work out, counseling is an option, but keeping an open line of communication is key, child or not.

I'm so sorry you're going through this..but good for you that you don't want to take his behavior anymore..If he is not willing to understand where you are coming from and why you feel the way you do I would take a step back...I agree with the therapy suggestion. Maybe you don't need to call everything off, but he needs to realize that this is not ok. You deserve a phone call and to know his where abouts.. hang in there and this is what we are all here for to vent and help eachother xoxo

oh, I'm so very sorry you're both going through this. Give it some time, then try talking about it. It always helps when you do give it a little time. I hope it works out for you both.

praying for you.. keep up your spirits

I'm sorry you're going through this. FH and I have had some similar issues at time. The biggest thing was him not returning the calls and texts. very disrespectful, and totally nerve racking for you.
I would seriously recommend therapy. You have some issues that are not resolving themselves, and you have a lot invested in this relationship. You need to do all you can to work it out, and when serious problem arise, most people dont have the tools to work it all out on their own. Goood Luck

Hey girl, all the girls have given you all the advice i could possibly give. I just want to offer my support and encouragement and let you know that I am sorry for what you are going through and even though you are upset right now and he doesnt want to talk about it, give him alittle time, (just a little) and he will come around.

remember why you guys are getting married in the first place and how beautiful your family is and how wonderful your future will be. This is only a small bump in the road hun.