sad but need your help UPDATED
Hi everyone. I am using a fake name because I don't want you all feeling badly for me. I need your help. Please.
This year has been a horrible one for me but I seem to keep smiling somehow. I think now I'm losing my hope. Here's the scoop. FH and I got engaged in Dec. last year. That's the good part. Then my dad and FH both got menengitus within 2 months of one another starting in February this year and almost died. They are both fine now but gosh what a horrible couple of months. In the middle of them both being sick, I was diagnosed with melanoma and told I can't be in the sun anymore which is my favorite thing to do. So I have to change my lifestyle..Oh well things could be worse (which i'm finding out unfortunately.) Now this past weekend, my mom who had breast cancer 3 years ago was diagnosed with lung and brain cancer. They think the breast cancer came back and metastesized into the brain from the lung. That's best case scenario because they can treat the breast cancer if that's all it is. If it's lung cancer that went to the brain it is much more serious. I can't believe this is happening. My dilemma of course is do I move the wedding up or do I hope for the best and keep it over the summer 2005. My mom and I discussed it and she wants me to keep it where it is. She is hopeful that they can treat her but my family and I are not so sure. I know it will upset her if I move it but I want her to be there. I can't fathom having a wedding without my mother there.
Am I being selfish by wanting to move it up and have her there? Will it make her feel worse if I move it up? Will it make her feel like I think she is dying? But what if she is? Oh i'm sorry its so long but I just don't know what to do. I'm DONE with this year already..It's been nothing but heartache. Thanks for listening all. I hope no one ever has to make this decision.
This year has been a horrible one for me but I seem to keep smiling somehow. I think now I'm losing my hope. Here's the scoop. FH and I got engaged in Dec. last year. That's the good part. Then my dad and FH both got menengitus within 2 months of one another starting in February this year and almost died. They are both fine now but gosh what a horrible couple of months. In the middle of them both being sick, I was diagnosed with melanoma and told I can't be in the sun anymore which is my favorite thing to do. So I have to change my lifestyle..Oh well things could be worse (which i'm finding out unfortunately.) Now this past weekend, my mom who had breast cancer 3 years ago was diagnosed with lung and brain cancer. They think the breast cancer came back and metastesized into the brain from the lung. That's best case scenario because they can treat the breast cancer if that's all it is. If it's lung cancer that went to the brain it is much more serious. I can't believe this is happening. My dilemma of course is do I move the wedding up or do I hope for the best and keep it over the summer 2005. My mom and I discussed it and she wants me to keep it where it is. She is hopeful that they can treat her but my family and I are not so sure. I know it will upset her if I move it but I want her to be there. I can't fathom having a wedding without my mother there.
Am I being selfish by wanting to move it up and have her there? Will it make her feel worse if I move it up? Will it make her feel like I think she is dying? But what if she is? Oh i'm sorry its so long but I just don't know what to do. I'm DONE with this year already..It's been nothing but heartache. Thanks for listening all. I hope no one ever has to make this decision.
