Hi everyone. I am using a fake name because I don't want you all feeling badly for me. I need your help. Please.
This year has been a horrible one for me but I seem to keep smiling somehow. I think now I'm losing my hope. Here's the scoop. FH and I got engaged in Dec. last year. That's the good part. Then my dad and FH both got menengitus within 2 months of one another starting in February this year and almost died. They are both fine now but gosh what a horrible couple of months. In the middle of them both being sick, I was diagnosed with melanoma and told I can't be in the sun anymore which is my favorite thing to do. So I have to change my lifestyle..Oh well things could be worse (which i'm finding out unfortunately.) Now this past weekend, my mom who had breast cancer 3 years ago was diagnosed with lung and brain cancer. They think the breast cancer came back and metastesized into the brain from the lung. That's best case scenario because they can treat the breast cancer if that's all it is. If it's lung cancer that went to the brain it is much more serious. I can't believe this is happening. My dilemma of course is do I move the wedding up or do I hope for the best and keep it over the summer 2005. My mom and I discussed it and she wants me to keep it where it is. She is hopeful that they can treat her but my family and I are not so sure. I know it will upset her if I move it but I want her to be there. I can't fathom having a wedding without my mother there. Am I being selfish by wanting to move it up and have her there? Will it make her feel worse if I move it up? Will it make her feel like I think she is dying? But what if she is? Oh i'm sorry its so long but I just don't know what to do. I'm DONE with this year already..It's been nothing but heartache. Thanks for listening all. I hope no one ever has to make this decision.
eogara
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I'm so sorry!!!
MrsERod
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Posted by needyouradviceplease
hi everyone. just wanted to let you all know what happened..my life is a shambles..mom was doing well on treatment and she asked that we keep the wedding where it was..so fh and i did..on jan 18, mom went to the doctor because she hadn't kept any food or drink down for weeks..we thought it was from the chemotherapy..then she started to fall so we said ummm we better get some tests done..well needless to say, the cancer spread to her spinal fluid and we placed her on hospice 2 weeks ago..she doesn't have more then a few days to a week to live and the wedding is in a few months..i can't believe it..i guess it wasn't meant to be..but to all of you who told me to move it up, i wish i had listened to you and not to mom..i can't believe my day will be without her helping me get ready..she is so strong and the hospice nurse has been asking what she could be holding on to..when we told her about my wedding she turned and said, 'it could very well be that she's fighting to be there..' there is just NO chance that she'll win the fight. this *****. thanks for listening
If you have it in your heart that you want your mom to be there when you get married, then I say go get a justice of the peace and get married at your mom's bedside, with her blessing...thats what I would do... If I were in that situation, I don't like I would be able to forgive myself if I didn't... JMHO..
Many hugs and prayers to you and your family. Good luck, whatever you decide...and GOD BLESS you all!!!
frosty
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Your mom will be with you on your day no matter what.
My father passed away when I was 15. I know his spirit will be there on my wedding day.
laughinlala
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OMG!! I am so sorry all of this is happening to you right now!!
angelbear217
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I am so sorry that things have come to this. Your mom will be watching over you on your wedding day for sure. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family during this difficult time. Hang in there.
MRSJLK
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my prayers are with you and your family
chris605
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IMO I think you should move it up....
nan&dave
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I'm sorry.
Azrael27
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I'm so sorry that you are going through this.....If I were you - I would do something small with her now...I'm going through something similiar with my dad....he has cancer that is not cureable and all I want it my dad to walk me down the aisle. That is why I got engaged at the end of November and getting married in May.....I stress everyday that he won't make it.....I do believe that your mother will be with you on that day no matter what, but I would also suggest doing something small with her now....and then in a few months, do the big thing and celebrate and know that shes there and so happy for you
princess99
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i did not have my Mom or dad with me on my wedding day. I am so sorry. My mom had colon cancer that metatsizzed to her liver after 10 years that the cancer was 'gone'. I am so sorry, she will be there even though it just plainly ***** right now. My dad had a massive stroke and it was also hard not to have him there on my wedding day too. I used my moms wedding day hanky around my flowers on my wedding day. It made me feel connected to her , if there is such a thing. Feel free to FM mail me if you need to talk. I am so so so sorry for what you are going thru.
Butterflybride
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Posted by MrsERod If you have it in your heart that you want your mom to be there when you get married, then I say go get a justice of the peace and get married at your mom's bedside, with her blessing...thats what I would do... If I were in that situation, I don't like I would be able to forgive myself if I didn't... JMHO..
Many hugs and prayers to you and your family. Good luck, whatever you decide...and GOD BLESS you all!!!
I have to agree with this. I think it would be very special for both you and her.
FTRBRIDE
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leighdvm
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I don't have the words to express my sympathy for the pain you are going through. 'sorry' seems so inadequate, but I don't know what else to say. God Bless.
starbright_33313
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lillian771
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I'm so sorry. My thoughts and prayers are with you during this extremely difficult time.
buckles
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I am so so so sorry you that this is happening! Both you and you family will be in my prayers!
LMFitz
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MCDO15
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first off...sorry you have these medical issues. i myself have thought about moving a date up or moving it back. things have a way of working themselves out. i picked to wait to see what happens. we ended up leaving our date the same even though things still seemed not positve for me and fw.
i hope everybody gets better in your family
needyouradviceplease
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thank you all for your thoughts and prayers
needyouradviceplease
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Posted by germai68
First of all I want to say that I am sorry that you have to be going through all of this. My mother was in the same situation as you are when she married my father. Her dad had already passed away and her mother was dying when she got engaged (cancer as well). They chose to wait until after she passed away to get married because they figured the wedding should be a happy celebration and the family was going through such a hard time as it was that why should more stress be added. My father drove his FMIL to his mothers house so that she could meet the in-laws. My mom's mom said to my dad's mom 'Please take care of my little girl', which is exactly what she did. My mother always said that my fathers parents were her parents longer than her own and they always made her feel a part of the family. I know that this is so hard to deal with right now but maybe that is why your mom asked that you not move the date. She does not want you to rush your wedding along and be so sad the whole day knowing that she is going to be leaving you. Instead she may want you to have the time to grieve over her and begin a new life with celebration and not so much sadness. And when you wedding day comes remember that she will be there looking down on you thinking how beautiful you look and how lucky she was to share so much of her life with you and to meet the man that you will marry. Good luck in this time of need and I hope that you are able to get through it. My prayers and thoughts are with your family.
