sad but need your help UPDATED

Original post by needyouradviceplease

Sep 17, 2004 07:44 AM

Hi everyone. I am using a fake name because I don't want you all feeling badly for me. I need your help. Please.

This year has been a horrible one for me but I seem to keep smiling somehow. I think now I'm losing my hope. Here's the scoop. FH and I got engaged in Dec. last year. That's the good part. Then my dad and FH both got menengitus within 2 months of one another starting in February this year and almost died. They are both fine now but gosh what a horrible couple of months. In the middle of them both being sick, I was diagnosed with melanoma and told I can't be in the sun anymore which is my favorite thing to do. So I have to change my lifestyle..Oh well things could be worse (which i'm finding out unfortunately.) Now this past weekend, my mom who had breast cancer 3 years ago was diagnosed with lung and brain cancer. They think the breast cancer came back and metastesized into the brain from the lung. That's best case scenario because they can treat the breast cancer if that's all it is. If it's lung cancer that went to the brain it is much more serious. I can't believe this is happening. My dilemma of course is do I move the wedding up or do I hope for the best and keep it over the summer 2005. My mom and I discussed it and she wants me to keep it where it is. She is hopeful that they can treat her but my family and I are not so sure. I know it will upset her if I move it but I want her to be there. I can't fathom having a wedding without my mother there.
Am I being selfish by wanting to move it up and have her there? Will it make her feel worse if I move it up? Will it make her feel like I think she is dying? But what if she is? Oh i'm sorry its so long but I just don't know what to do. I'm DONE with this year already..It's been nothing but heartache. Thanks for listening all. I hope no one ever has to make this decision.

nylibride Posted: Feb 15, 2005 06:47 PM

Re: sad but need your help UPDATED 2/12/05 go to last page

I am so so very sorry for all that your mom and you have had to cope with. You are both in my thoughts and prayers.

swags1016 Posted: Feb 15, 2005 08:08 PM

Re: sad but need your help UPDATED 2/12/05 go to last page

I am so sorry you have certainly been through your share I will pray for you, your mom and family.

I do agree with Christine, what about having a very small civial service at your mom's bedside so that she can see you get married and keep the big wedding for when it is scheduled!

May05Bride Posted: Feb 15, 2005 08:14 PM

Re: sad but need your help UPDATED 2/12/05 go to last page

I am SO sorry you and your mother are going through this.

I think now all you can do is be with her. I don't think you should think too much about the wedding. Spend and nurture the time you have.

MayBride06 Posted: Feb 15, 2005 09:14 PM

Re: sad but need your help UPDATED 2/12/05 go to last page

Posted by snowprincess805

honestly i say move it up - i think one of the important things about a wedding is having all your family around - do it at the end of this year and say that this is how you want to remeber the year - not the year of everyone getting sick

DITTO!!!

needyouradviceplease Posted: Feb 17, 2005 04:18 PM

Re: sad but need your help UPDATED 2/17/05 go to last page

mom passed away on wednesday 2/16/05..thanks all for your words of wisdom and advice. unfortunately she didn't see me get married physically but spiritually i know she'll be there..she died with a smile on her face and dad and i were able to kiss her right before her last breath..

Janice Posted: Feb 17, 2005 04:19 PM

Re: sad but need your help UPDATED 2/17/05 go to last page

I am at a loss for words....

o17range Posted: Feb 17, 2005 04:24 PM

Re: sad but need your help UPDATED 2/17/05 go to last page

Your strength, spirit and love are to be admired. Please know that I (and i think its safe to say all us LIW girls) will keep you in our thoughts.

coxmandi Posted: Feb 17, 2005 04:26 PM

Re: sad but need your help UPDATED 2/17/05 go to last page

I'm so sorry for your loss. You and your family are in my prayers and thoughts.

gNi1125 Posted: Feb 17, 2005 04:35 PM

Re: sad but need your help UPDATED 2/17/05 go to last page

I'm so sorry for your loss. Your mom will be with you on your wedding day and everyday.

allaboutthecake Posted: Feb 17, 2005 04:44 PM

Re: sad but need your help UPDATED 2/17/05 go to last page

I am so sorry for your loss. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

leighdvm Posted: Feb 17, 2005 04:45 PM

Re: sad but need your help UPDATED 2/17/05 go to last page

Oh my God, I am so terribly sorry

Donna&Joe708 Posted: Feb 17, 2005 04:47 PM

Re: sad but need your help UPDATED 2/17/05 go to last page

I am so very sorry for your loss.

Danielle2207 Posted: Feb 17, 2005 04:56 PM

Re: sad but need your help UPDATED 2/17/05 go to last page

If you are able to move it up I say do it. You never know what could happen. God forbid it is the worst case scenario you may regret it later. I am sure your mother knows how important it is for you to have her there on your wedding day and she will certainly feel blessed to have witnessed it. I am so sorry to hear about your news. She will be in my prayers.