Same Sex Marriage

I am definitely unsure on this issue. I'm for it in many ways and at the same time, I have a problem with it - and my problem with it is very difficult to explain.

I don't have a problem with same-sex displays of affection, so that's not it. I do believe that everyone should have a right to make a life with the person they love even if they are homosexual. I'm okay with 'domestic partnerships', 'commitment ceremonies', etc. I'm even okay with gay couples adopting children and sharing health benefits.

But for some reason, I have a problem with a homosexual couple having a 'marriage'. It definitely has to do with my Catholic upbringing (even though now I have many views that differ with those of the Catholic church, obviously). And it has to do with the fact that I think I feel (I say 'think' because like I said, I'm unsure) that there should be a distinction between a heterosexual marriage and a homosexual marriage.

Even to me, as I write that, it doesn't sound right. It evokes the days of 'separate but equal' and we all know how that turned out. But for some reason, I think I would be more comfortable with the idea of gay marriage if it was simply called something else. I guess from the 'list of reasons' why people are opposed to gay marriage, that would fall under the sanctity of marriage category.

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Posted by violet

Well, I think only by marriage can a person put their significant other on their health insurance, etc. It seems only fair. Some of these gay couples have adopted children together and have a family unit, so I don't see why they should be denied that.

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As of this year, my insurance provider started providing health coverage for a domestic partner as long as the insured partner could prove that they had been living together and intermingling finances for at least 6 mos.

My insurance provider is one of the biggest in the state.

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Posted by JimmysBride

I am definitely unsure on this issue. I'm for it in many ways and at the same time, I have a problem with it - and my problem with it is very difficult to explain.

I don't have a problem with same-sex displays of affection, so that's not it. I do believe that everyone should have a right to make a life with the person they love even if they are homosexual. I'm okay with 'domestic partnerships', 'commitment ceremonies', etc. I'm even okay with gay couples adopting children and sharing health benefits.

But for some reason, I have a problem with a homosexual couple having a 'marriage'. It definitely has to do with my Catholic upbringing (even though now I have many views that differ with those of the Catholic church, obviously). And it has to do with the fact that I think I feel (I say 'think' because like I said, I'm unsure) that there should be a distinction between a heterosexual marriage and a homosexual marriage.

Even to me, as I write that, it doesn't sound right. It evokes the days of 'separate but equal' and we all know how that turned out. But for some reason, I think I would be more comfortable with the idea of gay marriage if it was simply called something else. I guess from the 'list of reasons' why people are opposed to gay marriage, that would fall under the sanctity of marriage category.

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you said it better than i ever could

i am against gay marriage and the reason i didn't post till now is because i didn't know how to articulate my feelings

you and i are in complete agreement

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Posted by violet

I think the people who said they are opposed to it seems like a surprisingly low number to me. I don't know, maybe I come across a lot of people against it in real life?

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i know a lot of ppl who say they're okay with same sex marriage and in the inside they feel differently...

my husband, bils, brothers are against it. i do know a lot of ppl who are against same sex marriages. my hub, bros, bils all snicker at it but they seem to be okay with women marrying each other. they're okay with fem-to-fem but for men-to-men it's a total different story with them. i think it's all a sexual fantasy to them.

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Posted by lolita4life

god, i hate religion!

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tell us how you really feel

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Posted by violet

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Posted by t

If you need the comfort and support of an individual of the same sex fine, but marriage in my opinion is for opposite sexes. You do not need marriage to prove you love one another. its just a piece of paper.
, cause I did not see a point. Again, just my opinion.

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But it's just a piece of paper, why do so many heterosexual couples want it? It's more than that.

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Without that 'piece of paper', the marriage has no 'legal' status. Therefore - the same sex couple does not have the same rights as 'hetero' couples. (common-law doesn't apply here either) You can't claim each other on your taxes. You get no tax breaks (such as they are). If one is ill - the other can't visit in the hospital or make any health decisions. If one dies - the other has no rights to property. And if there are children and the adoptive parent dies - the other partner has no legal rights to the children! What the *F* is that about?? Two people make a home, spend years together and raise a family - and get no recognition for any of it?

That's major 'horseum shitium' in my book!!

Finally - above all - marriage is an emotional personal commitment you make to someone else. Neither the state, nor the church (much less Joe Shmoe down the block!) should have any say in who or what you commit your life to. It is your own personal business. I have always thought that church and state are WAAY too much in our business, but I guess that's a rant for another time.

Just my 2cents!

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Posted by belleboyd

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Posted by violet

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Posted by t

If you need the comfort and support of an individual of the same sex fine, but marriage in my opinion is for opposite sexes. You do not need marriage to prove you love one another. its just a piece of paper.
, cause I did not see a point. Again, just my opinion.

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But it's just a piece of paper, why do so many heterosexual couples want it? It's more than that.

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Without that 'piece of paper', the marriage has no 'legal' status. Therefore - the same sex couple does not have the same rights as 'hetero' couples. (common-law doesn't apply here either) You can't claim each other on your taxes. You get no tax breaks (such as they are). If one is ill - the other can't visit in the hospital or make any health decisions. If one dies - the other has no rights to property. And if there are children and the adoptive parent dies - the other partner has no legal rights to the children! What the *F* is that about?? Two people make a home, spend years together and raise a family - and get no recognition for any of it?

That's major 'horseum shitium' in my book!!

Finally - above all - marriage is an emotional personal commitment you make to someone else. Neither the state, nor the church (much less Joe Shmoe down the block!) should have any say in who or what you commit your life to. It is your own personal business. I have always thought that church and state are WAAY too much in our business, but I guess that's a rant for another time.

Just my 2cents!

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valid points indeed

I feel some people's biggest fear about it is change. Traditionalists who feel that if that gets legalized, who knows what'll happen next?

I believe the Catholic Church in ancient times (or even now, not that informed about it) sees the man as higher than the woman. So that's what seems flaky to me about people saying it's wrong because of religion because man, if we went by everything the Catholic Church has ever believed.

the reason why i sometime become passionate abotu this subject is because i encountered homosexuals at a very young age through work and school. this subject never tires for it's obviously a sensitive topic. the question is 'why can't a person have the same rights as the next person?' i met this couple who lives as common law but denied the rights as common law. i see disappointment and anguish in their eyes. that even though they've been living together for so many years and would like to take the next big step they get shunned. some may ask 'what's the point in getting the marital papers just to prove your love?' then why did i get one? the marriage license is what most of us progress to have because it's tradition. it's what we grew up knowing.

i'm not lashing out.. if i was i wouldn't be with poor old scott. i respect your opinion and would like to understand them. after all, we do live in a land of the free...?

If the church does not condone same sex marriage fine, don't let them get married in your church. The thing is that marriage is not a solely religious institution. Our marriage certificate is not issued to us by any church, but by the state and city of NY. The same sex couples that I know don't want to be married in a religious ceremony ( mostly because of the way that religion feels about homosexuality), but they do desire the same rights and recognition that married hetrosexuals are granted.

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Posted by heidla

If the church does not condone same sex marriage fine, don't let them get married in your church. The thing is that marriage is not a solely religious institution. Our marriage certificate is not issued to us by any church, but by the state and city of NY. The same sex couples that I know don't want to be married in a religious ceremony ( mostly because of the way that religion feels about homosexuality), but they do desire the same rights and recognition that married hetrosexuals are granted.

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Exactly. It should be a state issue, it should have nothing to do with religious beliefs. Getting married does not only mean to get married in a church. They should just be allowed to get married, period. The problem is the people who say no to this, base their opinion on religion.

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Posted by violet

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Posted by heidla

If the church does not condone same sex marriage fine, don't let them get married in your church. The thing is that marriage is not a solely religious institution. Our marriage certificate is not issued to us by any church, but by the state and city of NY. The same sex couples that I know don't want to be married in a religious ceremony ( mostly because of the way that religion feels about homosexuality), but they do desire the same rights and recognition that married hetrosexuals are granted.

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Exactly. It should be a state issue, it should have nothing to do with religious beliefs. Getting married does not only mean to get married in a church. They should just be allowed to get married, period. The problem is the people who say no to this, base their opinion on religion.

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religion is a huge part of someone's upbringing -- just an opinion

it just bother sme that some people base it on a book that was written like a zillion years ago!

tell god to revise it for the new millenium! theyre here, theyre queer!.

its a reality now. it wasnt then.
whatev!

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Posted by lolita4life

it just bother sme that some people base it on a book that was written like a zillion years ago!

tell god to revise it for the new millenium! theyre here, theyre queer!.

its a reality now. it wasnt then.
whatev!

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it's not as black and white as that

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Posted by don424



religion is a huge part of someone's upbringing -- just an opinion

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I have encountered people whose upbringing included being raised racist, but when they went out into the world they decided that what they were taught was not a correct way of thinking.

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Posted by heidla

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Posted by don424



religion is a huge part of someone's upbringing -- just an opinion

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I have encountered people whose upbringing included being raised racist, but when they went out into the world they decided that what they were taught was not a correct way of thinking.

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this is true