Brides Helping Brides ™ - Same Sex Marriage is Mass.. how do you feel about it? – Page 7

Xelindrya · 2004-05-18T09:08:37-04:00

So How do you feel? Im curious how 'we' here feel about it in general. Seeing as we are all getting married or are married. Admittedly our views are a bit skewed to the 'happily ever after'. Then again, not everyone can have the same cookie cutter view of this but it's difficult to express that in a post without fear of being battered over it. So I created what I hope is a broad based poll. If you view, please choose. Even if it's 'other'.

don424 Posted: May 19, 2004 04:24 PM

Re: Same Sex Marriage is Mass.. how do you feel about it?

what i mean is having the marriage license doesn't give you any more benefits than not having one

Marriage is very important, it's all about stating love in front of family and friends

So why don't they just have family parties like a 'commitment party' and leave it at that. I've known people that have done this

meghanmetz Posted: May 19, 2004 04:29 PM

Re: Same Sex Marriage is Mass.. how do you feel about it?

Posted by kel2004

Posted by meghanmetz

Second of all, if that 'piece of paper' wasn't that important, why do ANY of us get married?

People get married for religious reasons, and to start families, neither of which is possible in gay marriage.

a. Just because someone is gay, does not mean that they are not religious. There are religions which accept homosexuals. So, they can too marry for religious reasons.

b. Several gay couples have children either from past relationships or otherwise. To say that they can not have a family is a complete fallacy.

shelly3950 Posted: May 19, 2004 04:30 PM

Re: Same Sex Marriage is Mass.. how do you feel about it?

You can have a religious wedding without a civil couterpart- you don't have to have marriage license, or change your name, tax breaks, or anything else that indicates marriage in a civil union. But how many of us are doing that?

I think most of us want it all! The marriage ceremony, (religious and civil) and all the benefits that are associated with that- rights of survivorship in property, inheritance rights, custody rights, hospital rights in case one spouse gets sick. I could go on and on. BTW Gays can have kids. Especially lesbians- its called artificial insemination or surrogacy. What happens if their is a child, no legal union, and the biological parent dies?

There is a whole picture here, people need to look at.

Not to mention, WHY DO YOU CARE WHAT SOMEONE ELSE DOES?? How does this affect you in anyway?? I just don't get it!

Kriss2c Posted: May 19, 2004 04:31 PM

Re: Same Sex Marriage is Mass.. how do you feel about it?

Posted by kel2004

Posted by meghanmetz

Second of all, if that 'piece of paper' wasn't that important, why do ANY of us get married?

People get married for religious reasons, and to start families, neither of which is possible in gay marriage.

WOW! I'm not getting married for religious reasons..... I'm getting married because I love the guy and he loves me and we want to spend the rest of our lives together...

as for families.... there are families of 2, and adoption is possible for a gay couple. sooooo NEXT!!!

BMD'sPeanut Posted: May 19, 2004 04:33 PM

Re: Same Sex Marriage is Mass.. how do you feel about it?

Posted by meghanmetz

There are religions which accept homosexuals.

Which ones?

Kriss2c Posted: May 19, 2004 04:33 PM

Re: Same Sex Marriage is Mass.. how do you feel about it?

Posted by don424

what i mean is having the marriage license doesn't give you any more benefits than not having one

Marriage is very important, it's all about stating love in front of family and friends

So why don't they just have family parties like a 'commitment party' and leave it at that. I've known people that have done this

Having a marriage certificate by law makes you next of kin....

shelly3950 Posted: May 19, 2004 04:34 PM

Re: Same Sex Marriage is Mass.. how do you feel about it?

Posted by don424

what I mean is having the marriage license doesn't give you any more benefits than not having one

Marriage is very important, it's all about stating love in front of family and friends

So why don't they just have family parties like a 'commitment party' and leave it at that. I've known people that have done this

You must have posted this while I was posting my post. Well, with marriage there are inheritance rights- no spouse can completely cut off their spouse from an inheritance. There are tax breaks- filing jointly. There are rights of survivorship in property. There are health concerns such as joint health insurance and DNR/living will issues that a spouse has. There are custody issues when the couple has a child. Shall I go on... Marriage is a lot more than just a ceremony. Its a joining of lives and legal rights.

Why don't you just have a commitment ceremony? Do you really think its the same thing? I know I don't.

heidla Posted: May 19, 2004 04:34 PM

Re: Same Sex Marriage is Mass.. how do you feel about it?

Posted by kel2004

Posted by meghanmetz

Second of all, if that 'piece of paper' wasn't that important, why do ANY of us get married?

People get married for religious reasons, and to start families, neither of which is possible in gay marriage.

I am getting married and I can assure you it is not beacause of any religious reason and we don't know if we want kids. So, should I not be allowed to get married? Marriage to many people has nothing to do with religion. As far as I know gays are not asking to get married in a church or a synagoge and have their marriage recognized by any religious organazation. We all know how well that would go over. They just want it to be recognized by the state.

BMD'sPeanut Posted: May 19, 2004 04:35 PM

Re: Same Sex Marriage is Mass.. how do you feel about it?

Posted by Kriss2c

adoption is possible for a gay couple.

yea...how is it that rosie o'donnell was able to get some pretty beautiful, healthy children...

i know for a fact that adoption is NOT an easy process for a common american...

or maybe it has more to do with how much money you have and little to do with anything else.

kel2004 Posted: May 19, 2004 04:36 PM

Re: Same Sex Marriage is Mass.. how do you feel about it?

Posted by shelly3950

You can have a religious wedding without a civil couterpart- you don't have to have marriage license, or change your name, tax breaks, or anything else that indicates marriage in a civil union. But how many of us are doing that?

I think most of us want it all! The marriage ceremony, (religious and civil) and all the benefits that are associated with that- rights of survivorship in property, inheritance rights, custody rights, hospital rights in case one spouse gets sick. I could go on and on. BTW Gays can have kids. Especially lesbians- its called artificial insemination or surrogacy. What happens if their is a child, no legal union, and the biological parent dies?

There is a whole picture here, people need to look at.

Not to mention, WHY DO YOU CARE WHAT SOMEONE ELSE DOES?? How does this affect you in anyway?? I just don't get it!

When my fiance proposed, he didn't say 'Let's get married so you can have my property when I die and visit me in the hospital when I'm sick.' These are not reasons to get married. And gay people can do this through legal means anyway.

Secondly, I DO NOT CARE WHAT GAY PEOPLE DO! I'm just offering reasons why some people oppose gay marriage to contribute to the discussion. If everything is one-sided, it is not very interesting.

kel2004 Posted: May 19, 2004 04:37 PM

Re: Same Sex Marriage is Mass.. how do you feel about it?

Posted by BMD'sPeanut

Posted by Kriss2c

adoption is possible for a gay couple.

yea...how is it that rosie o'donnell was able to get some pretty beautiful, healthy children...

i know for a fact that adoption is NOT an easy process for a common american...

or maybe it has more to do with how much money you have and little to do with anything else.

Ooohh.. That makes me so mad too. I agree that adoption is not easy in this country.

shelly3950 Posted: May 19, 2004 04:38 PM

Re: Same Sex Marriage is Mass.. how do you feel about it?

Posted by BMD'sPeanut

Posted by Kriss2c

adoption is possible for a gay couple.

yea...how is it that rosie o'donnell was able to get some pretty beautiful, healthy children...

i know for a fact that adoption is NOT an easy process for a common american...

or maybe it has more to do with how much money you have and little to do with anything else.

Only if you want a white, newborn. Adopting an older child or a non-white child is actually a lot easier. There is definitely preference for wealthy celebrities when it comes to adoption (which isn't right IMO). But that has nothing to do with gay marriage rights. There are surrogacies and lesbians can give birth to thier own children.

BMD'sPeanut Posted: May 19, 2004 04:39 PM

Re: Same Sex Marriage is Mass.. how do you feel about it?

I am curious to know why those who feel so strongly in favor of gay marriage, feel so strongly.

I mean...What is the point of continously trying to drive your point(s) home?

I certainly do not feel as strongly against it as those who feel strongly for it.

Kriss2c Posted: May 19, 2004 04:39 PM

Re: Same Sex Marriage is Mass.. how do you feel about it?

Posted by BMD'sPeanut

Posted by Kriss2c

adoption is possible for a gay couple.

yea...how is it that rosie o'donnell was able to get some pretty beautiful, healthy children...

i know for a fact that adoption is NOT an easy process for a common american...

or maybe it has more to do with how much money you have and little to do with anything else.

Hey, I'm not saying it's easy.... just possible. One of the networks even ran a documentary on it.

don424 Posted: May 19, 2004 04:39 PM

Re: Same Sex Marriage is Mass.. how do you feel about it?

Why don't you just have a commitment ceremony? Do you really think its the same thing? I know I don't.

sure i do -- marriage is all about commitment anyway

that other stuff is secondary

eroxgirl Posted: May 19, 2004 04:41 PM

Re: Same Sex Marriage is Mass.. how do you feel about it?

Posted by don424

what i mean is having the marriage license doesn't give you any more benefits than not having one

This is incorrect.

If your wife, God forbid, falls terminally ill, you as her husband have the right to say what kind of medical treatment she receives, you have the right to live in your shared home as her husband if she should be incapacited, as well as a host of other rights that we, as heterosexuals take for granted.

Homosexuals do not have these rights as domestic partners or otherwise. In the same situation they can be tossed out of their homes, forbidden access to their significant other in the hospital, unable to make decisions on behalf of their loved one...all because they don't have that 'little piece of paper.'

shelly3950 Posted: May 19, 2004 04:41 PM

Re: Same Sex Marriage is Mass.. how do you feel about it?

Posted by kel2004

When my fiance proposed, he didn't say 'Let's get married so you can have my property when I die and visit me in the hospital when I'm sick.' These are not reasons to get married. And gay people can do this through legal means anyway.

Secondly, I DO NOT CARE WHAT GAY PEOPLE DO! I'm just offering reasons why some people oppose gay marriage to contribute to the discussion. If everything is one-sided, it is not very interesting.

Those rights come along with getting married, they don't need to be asked in the proposal. Why should some people get these rights and not others.

I agree, that not everything needs to be one sided, but I am entitled to my view and to share that. You were offering reasons and I was countering them. Thats a debate. I wasn't talking to you personally. I don't expect everyone to agree with me, but I am entitled to express my opinion.

don424 Posted: May 19, 2004 04:43 PM

Re: Same Sex Marriage is Mass.. how do you feel about it?

This is incorrect.

If your wife, God forbid, falls terminally ill, you as her husband have the right to say what kind of medical treatment she receives, you have the right to live in your shared home as her husband if she should be incapacited, as well as a host of other rights that we, as heterosexuals take for granted.

Homosexuals do not have these rights as domestic partners or otherwise. In the same situation they can be tossed out of their homes, forbidden access to their significant other in the hospital, unable to make decisions on behalf of their loved one...all because they don't have that 'little piece of paper.'

ever hear of a will?

kel2004 Posted: May 19, 2004 04:45 PM

Re: Same Sex Marriage is Mass.. how do you feel about it?

Posted by eroxgirl

Posted by don424

what i mean is having the marriage license doesn't give you any more benefits than not having one

This is incorrect.

If your wife, God forbid, falls terminally ill, you as her husband have the right to say what kind of medical treatment she receives, you have the right to live in your shared home as her husband if she should be incapacited, as well as a host of other rights that we, as heterosexuals take for granted.

Homosexuals do not have these rights as domestic partners or otherwise. In the same situation they can be tossed out of their homes, forbidden access to their significant other in the hospital, unable to make decisions on behalf of their loved one...all because they don't have that 'little piece of paper.'

If someone wants his gay partner to have access to him in the hospital, and/or make medical decisions for him, it can be done legally. I think it's called health proxy, or something like that. And that's just a different 'piece of paper'. Do you really think if Rosie's partner gets sick, she won't be there by her side?