Semi-wedding related......How do you feel when you find out that your ex has someone new?
hbradio
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Semi-wedding related......How do you feel when you find out that your ex has someone new?
Okay, my ex and I broke up at the beginning of 2000 - right before I started dating my FH.
A professor that all alumni are very close with told him that I was getting married when my ex stopped by for a visit.
Now he and I talk on email once or twice a year since we broke up but we never ever discuss significant others. He told me he was very happy and excited for me. I asked him where he lives now and he said he lives with his girlfriend....I havent written anything back yet. The reason why we still keep in touch is because we were friends for 3 years before we ever got romantic with each other -obviously it was a mistake!
He lives 8 hours away, our relationship was crazy, our break-up was painful, and he broke my heart - so why am I sitting here unable to think about anything else or do anything else because I just got this news??? What the heck is wrong with me!?!?!?
CaCRmr
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Re: Semi-wedding related......How do you feel when you find out that your ex has someone new?
My ex turned out to be 'GAY' so I'm hoping he finds someone. I would be thrilled!
CubanBride
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Re: Semi-wedding related......How do you feel when you find out that your ex has someone new?
Um, I didn't care.
BlondeJD
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Re: Semi-wedding related......How do you feel when you find out that your ex has someone new?
I think it's natural to feel territorial about someone you dated, especially if you were friends as well. It doesn't mean that you're in love with him, just sometimes it's hard to picture that life goes on without you. I've been the same way about one of my ex-es and, quite egotistically, I think, he could never be serious about anyone but me. I think it's just the nature of things
vhollo01
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Re: Semi-wedding related......How do you feel when you find out that your ex has someone new?
thats probably not very good.... did you try discussing that with the FH? Or is that the kind of thing you wouldn't tell him?
charlotte227
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Re: Semi-wedding related......How do you feel when you find out that your ex has someone new?
like i could give a damn....we said goodbye to our ex's for a reason wish them well and keep it moving....you should be happy now...you have to kiss a lot of frogs to get a prince
vhollo01
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Re: Semi-wedding related......How do you feel when you find out that your ex has someone new?
Posted by CaCRmr
My ex turned out to be 'GAY' so I'm hoping he finds someone. I would be thrilled!
Holy crap! I had a close friend in college who wanted to date me.... but I always thought he was gay and I couldn't get past it.
hbradio
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Re: Semi-wedding related......How do you feel when you find out that your ex has someone new?
Posted by vhollo01
thats probably not very good.... did you try discussing that with the FH? Or is that the kind of thing you wouldn't tell him?
No - and not because I am hiding anything. I think its just a matter of what jenniesunshine said - I feel 'territorial' and 'egotistical' - hard to believe he could be happy without me.
keohime
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Re: Semi-wedding related......How do you feel when you find out that your ex has someone new?
With almost all of them, I am totally alright with the whole thing... except for maybe one guy. Bizarre, no?
Bunnymonkey
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Re: Semi-wedding related......How do you feel when you find out that your ex has someone new?
I don't think that is strange at all. I had the same weird feeling when I ran into my ex recently and found out he was doing well and dating (we were together for 4 years - my longest relationship, college boyfriend, etc)
I felt jealous and weird and wanted to know who this girl was he was dating. I think I wanted him to be lovesick over me forever - he was very emotionally abusive during the relationship, broke my heart over and over again, so the pain he experienced when I left him was very satisfying 'payback' for me. i think that is why I resented hearing he was good.
I think you should look at the relationship you had, what he meant to you, and try and understand why exactly this bothers you. There is always something behind the jealousy...Maybe you miss the actual friendship you had with him! There is nothing wrong with that. Sorry...I am studying to be a psychoanalyst - forgive any overanalyzations.
Have a great day!
Jan05Bride
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Re: Semi-wedding related......How do you feel when you find out that your ex has someone new?
it's all about territory and how can they be happy without someone as wonderful as you. Don't worry, the feeling will fade.
Kriss2c
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Re: Semi-wedding related......How do you feel when you find out that your ex has someone new?
Posted by jenniesunshine
I think it's natural to feel territorial about someone you dated, especially if you were friends as well. It doesn't mean that you're in love with him, just sometimes it's hard to picture that life goes on without you. I've been the same way about one of my ex-es and, quite egotistically, I think, he could never be serious about anyone but me. I think it's just the nature of things
I agree.... I think it's normal to feel that someone would be pining for you. I felt that way about one ex of mine.... only because he and I knew eachother for a really long time prior to the breakup. I just reminded myself of the nasty fights, and the snippiness to make myself realize that I'm better off.
I wouldn't worry about it too much, wish him well and move on.
BlondeJD
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Re: Semi-wedding related......How do you feel when you find out that your ex has someone new?
I have to add that it did satisfy my ego just a little bit that EVERY girl he dated after me (I think he was up to 4 or 5 last time we spoke) was named Jennifer and one was even in law school. I kept telling him, you can't replace the original.
Boop2704
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Re: Semi-wedding related......How do you feel when you find out that your ex has someone new?
After Dh and I were engaged we ran into one of my ex's at a restaurant. I introduced the ex to my fiancee. He told me he was engaged too. It didn't really bother me. But a few months later I ran into my ex again and he told me his engagement was broken off and I was soo happy. I know its mean, but I was laughing at him after he walked away. He was a jerk anyway!!
Boop2704
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Re: Semi-wedding related......How do you feel when you find out that your ex has someone new?
Posted by CaCRmr
My ex turned out to be 'GAY' so I'm hoping he finds someone. I would be thrilled!
OMG, the guy I took to my senior prom turned up gay a few years later. I hope it was nothing I said!!
kitten
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Re: Semi-wedding related......How do you feel when you find out that your ex has someone new?
I do not think there is anything wrong with that. You must still need a sense of closure with him. Especially if the breakup was really painful needing to 'finish' things is not unusual. I felt much better once I 'settled' some issues with my ex. If something is still not settled with him...then I think better to face it now then get married and have a nagging feeling that you should have dealt with.
palebride
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Re: Semi-wedding related......How do you feel when you find out that your ex has someone new?
I guess I'm lucky in that my husband is the only real relationship i've ever had. i've dated other people - but the longest one lasted almost 3 months.....and that was senior year in high school, and i didn't even really want to go out with him, my friend kind of forced me into it. So when I hear of them dating other people, it really doesn't bother me.....but if Tom and I had broken up, and he started dating someone new...i'm sure it would bug the heck out of me!!
heidla
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Re: Semi-wedding related......How do you feel when you find out that your ex has someone new?
I am still friends with one of my ex's and was so happy when he finally found happiness in another relationship. I am happy in my relationship and have been for years. I just figured it was his turn.
prncssrachel
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Re: Semi-wedding related......How do you feel when you find out that your ex has someone new?
I feel sorry for the girl!
FLaCaTaCa
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Re: Semi-wedding related......How do you feel when you find out that your ex has someone new?
My nasty bitter feeling is the sort of idea that 'who the heck do they think, going off and being happy in life' Makes no sense I am sure....but....it is my honest feeling. Like Keohime...it is just one guy too. He IS dating a mutual friend of our's so maybe that adds flames to the fire but still....I CAN BE HAPPY BUT NOT YOU!!!
Write back though HB...even if you have to lie. I am sure he is when he is saying 'I am so happy for you' YEAH RIGHT!!!!
