OK- all logic aside, I can't decide if I want to hyphenate, change or keep my name. I am getting my marriage licencse tomorrow.
Help me pick!
FYI- my name is easier to pronounce & spell than his.
Thanks for all your responses. Updated on page 2
palebride
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Re: Senseless poll- Help me pick my name
i said to pick his becasue that's what i did.....
heidla
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Re: Senseless poll- Help me pick my name
I hyphenated legally for now. Professionally though I am still known by my maiden name. In my personal life people refer to me as Heidi DH's last name. So, I have no idea why I stood in line at the SS office. Just remember that if you are unhappy with the decision that you make it is not permanate.
snowprincess805
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Re: Senseless poll- Help me pick my name
i say pick his - and use yours for business- that is what i am doing- people know me thta way
Also one thing to keep in mind - if you have different last name as your kids - you may need to always have a notorized letter from your husband saying you are the kids parent - it is necessary when you fly with them - and say if a kid ever says they are not your parent - and that does happen with kids
i am just giving yu some things to consider that i never thought about until i heard from others
stacy&joe
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Re: Senseless poll- Help me pick my name
Personally, I am taking his last name, because in my opinion, our marriage makes us a brand new family, and I want us to have the same last name. However, one of my best friends was doing the 'Hillary Rodham Clinton' thing - using her maiden name as a middle name. That is, until, she moved to an area where everyone referred to her as 'Mrs. John Smith.' She felt she had lost her own identity, and so recently she changed her name, after a year of marriage, to hyphenate. The moral of the story is, pick whatever feels right when you say it. If your first name + his last name sounds like a stranger, keep your name. If your first name + his last name sounds familiar and right, take his. I think this is a highly personal decision that YOU have to be comfortable with - and it all depends on your sense of idenity - regardless of the poll. (I do like the poll, though - your last few choices are funny and it is interesting to see whatever everyone else is doing). Good luck!
CubanBride
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Re: Senseless poll- Help me pick my name
I said pick his because I am a traditionalist.
FeliciaDA
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Re: Senseless poll- Help me pick my name
...take the name of person working in the White Plains city clerk's office tomorrow
Tourist you are too much
ETA: this is such a tough decision and I'm not sure I can be much help. I am also a traditionalist (to a point) and I really wanted to take DH's last name... and it didn't hurt that it was shorter and easier to pronounce than my maiden name
But as some of the other ladies said, there is no right or wrong... do what's right for YOU and mostly, good luck !
tourist
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Re: Senseless poll- Help me pick my name
thank you for the postive responses. I am all for the do what feels right form me thing, but nothing feels right!
Hence, the silly poll.
That was interesting about flying with kids & picking them up from school. I'm not sure if that's going to be an issue for us though. . .
ETA-- 2 votes for the city clerk's name
Heidi- I am afraid if I hyphenate people won't acknowlege that
and oh yeah- one of the mispronouciations of his name rhymes with my 1st name! ew!
thiadora
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Re: Senseless poll- Help me pick my name
Posted by tourist
and oh yeah- one of the mispronouciations of his name rhymes with my 1st name! ew!
Oooh, that tough.
I don't really know how to advise you. It's such a personal decision.
I am having trouble with this myself. (Only in my case I have the difficult last name and he has the easy one.) And there is no way that I can hyphenate because our last names DO NOT go well together (mine is Italian, his is Irish). I decided to take his name because I too feel that it makes us a family. I'm just sad to loose my Italian identity. I don't really look Italian, and now everyone will think I'm Irish.
RedHead
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Re: Senseless poll- Help me pick my name
I like my name better so i think i am going to hyphenate
JimmysBride
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Re: Senseless poll- Help me pick my name
I said take his because it's easier later on if you have kids and stuff.
JenniferLee111204
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Re: Senseless poll- Help me pick my name
i am taking his. but just b/c i want to do that - not everyone has to agree with it! i say do what ever you want to and if you decide on one thing, and you want to switch later on- so what!!
im going from Di Meo to Rosenberg.. LoL
i know people dont post last names, but i just think its funny!!
Jennifer
NPbride
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Re: Senseless poll- Help me pick my name
If when you marry you are starting a whole new family how come the man never or hardly ever takes the wife's name?
This is really a personal decision and a very difficult one. I know that it's hard to figure out what feels right but you will. One of my friend's was going to keep her name but when they went to get the marriage license she changed her mind, took his name, and doesn't have any regrets.
randella
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Re: Senseless poll- Help me pick my name
decisions decisions!!
I told FH on our first date that I never intended on changing my name. This has always been my thought- no matter who or when I married. The plan was to keep my name, but use husband's name socially, with kids, etc.
Anyway- since getting engaged I have had a slight change of heart. I decided to hyphenate BUT I will never use our two last names together- it will just be my legal name. So, in the appropriate company I can be Jane Maiden, or Jane Married. But wherever, my legal documents will say Jane Maiden Married.
Our two last names together make us sounds like a law firm. Mine is three syllables and 8 letters, his is two and 9 letters.
Sweetness
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Re: Senseless poll- Help me pick my name
It is a tough decision. I am counting down the days to my wedding and how many days I have left with my last name. Sometimes I think about it and my last name is me that's who I am, my identity. BUT I can't hyphenate our last names cause they rhyme and people feel the need to point that out and my FH would be very offended if I didn't make us whole 'family'.
troutster
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Re: Senseless poll- Help me pick my name
I'm a traditionalist.
Marisa&Brian
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Hmmm - my last name is Loooooong and SO Italian, his last name is 4 letters and just SO German !! Not that there's anything wrong w/ that, but it's just SO SO SO different for me !! I'm going to take his name, but use my maiden name @ work - Also, it's just me and my sister, my dad is an only child - after us, our name is gone ...
tourist
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Re: Senseless poll- Help me pick my name
Posted by randella
Anyway- since getting engaged I have had a slight change of heart. I decided to hyphenate BUT I will never use our two last names together- it will just be my legal name. So, in the appropriate company I can be Jane Maiden, or Jane Married. But wherever, my legal documents will say Jane Maiden Married.
Our two last names together make us sounds like a law firm. Mine is three syllables and 8 letters, his is two and 9 letters.
lol- I thought of the same thing you posted, but I thought that might be confusing.
FH is TOO sweet- he doesn't have ANY thing to say because he wants it to be my decision. Maybe I should call my mom before we go .
AHH, it is only 11 hours away!
tourist
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Re: Senseless poll- Help me pick my name
Posted by thiadora
I'm just sad to loose my Italian identity. I don't really look Italian, and now everyone will think I'm Irish.
Yes, I totally get that. People will think I am French. FH isn't even Frecnh. He is Belgian , Italian & German, but Belgians speak Flemish & French, so he has a French name.
And people think I'm Irish, but I am Scottish & Italian. . .sometimes I think we should take his either of our mother's maiden names.
Or Davidson, one of my dad's cousin s changed his name to that. It was someone's maiden name if you go back far enough!
Ok, as of right now, I am leanig towards hyphenating--we'll see what happens tomorrow!
I feel it is very 80's--I kinda like that!
nsgraham
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Re: Senseless poll- Help me pick my name
Honestly? I'm just keeping my name.
I thought I would hypenate, but it's just too much hassle. And I thought I could use it, but it's too alien. I'll still be Mrs. hisname if people are more comfortable with that, and legally (on the certificate and stuff) I'm hypenated, but when I answer the phone or get mail or introduce myself I just naturally use my name, and I don't see that changing. We went to this event where he was teaching and I was introduced as his wife and I used my name on my name tag and I didn't even realize that I did that until someone asked me if I was keeping my name. Then I was like 'oops!' I completely forgot that in this situation I should have probably used his name according to my plan, but I just didn't. And it doesn't help two of our nicknames for each other are our last names, so I call him his last name and he calls me mine. I'm pretty happy with my decision, actually.
The Thank You Cards are hypenated, but that's about it.
And remember, you really can just change your mind and use whatever you want.
