sensitive topic alert------how will u and fh punish your children?
Original post by latinaj
spanking yay or nay?
i grew up being scared for my life..lmao not really..but a little..
it worked for me..i stood out of trouble.. for most of my life
i know fh was brought up under the spanking system too.
not sure what we will do w/our kids though?
flibbertigibbet
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Re: sensitive topic alert------how will u and fh punish your children?
i'm from the midwest and i think i have a differente feeling on this than a lot of people out here.
FH and I were both spanked if we got in trouble among other punishments, including having things taken away, being grounded etc. depending on what the incident was.
i was never like 'beaten' but i did get hit with a belt a few times by a grandparent.
i think spanking is totally okay if you've given warnings, and tried other punishments and the kid continues to do it. just my opinion. i would never smack a kid in the face or actually be rough with them, but a smack on the butt or hand - sometimes you need to do it.
kids today get away with murder. i don't want my kids running around thinking they run the show.
FH says he doesn't think he will 'be able' to spank our kids but i think when the time comes he will. our children will be respectable kids whatever it takes. i will not contribute to the cluster-youknowwhat that is today's youth LOL.
kris_gets_hitched
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Re: sensitive topic alert------how will u and fh punish your children?
We'd get smacked when we were out of line. If FH and I have kids, we both believe that smacking a kid is sometimes called for.
Kids get waaaaaaaaay too out of line nowadays and people pander to their kids way too much.
Sometimes a kid just needs to be slapped.
Junebride2010
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Re: sensitive topic alert------how will u and fh punish your children?
I was spanked and punished for like everything. I could never disrespect my mom or throw fits like I see kids doing these days. That would never happen! I see kids in stores and stuff and they are being so bad and their parents dont do anything. I have friends who give into all of their children's tantrums and let them get away with murder. They are so against spanking and strict punishments that their kids flip out if they dont get their way. Spolied brats!
Im not saying i would ever physically or mentally abuse my children but they will definitely be punished and if needed spanked. Luckly FH and i are on the same page on this one.
futureMrsJSL
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Re: sensitive topic alert------how will u and fh punish your children?
I was spanked and so was FH. I think that i'd only go there as a last resort. I have this glare that I use to use give my lil sis (12 years apart and I had her a lot as a child) that she knew you have one more time to get on my nerves and then thats your behind...and it worked. I plan to do the same with the kiddies
flibbertigibbet
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Re: sensitive topic alert------how will u and fh punish your children?
Posted by kris_gets_hitched
Sometimes a kid just needs to be slapped.
yes!
also, one time. ONCE. i called my stepdad a 'jackass'. i got the soap in the mouth.
i never swore at an adult again. everrrrrr.
and still to this today i'm hesitant to use any curse words aroudn them.
don't get me wrong. i encourage typical child/teenage behavior because i think it helps mold your character but if i haven't raised my kids to be smart enough to not get caught then they deserve a good kick in the *** so to speak.
Im_My_Own_Princess
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Re: sensitive topic alert------how will u and fh punish your children?
FH and I have talked about it... we are both ok with the spank the tush method... we're actually leaning towards just being assertive and skipping the hitting, but I know myself, I'm TINY and have a napoleon complex and have flipped out and TRIED to beat my nephew, who stands at 2 inches taller and is about 20lbs heavier..
my children are going to kick my @$$
NanandEric08
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Re: sensitive topic alert------how will u and fh punish your children?
I totally got the wooden spoon as well although, I was never really hit with it, just threatened. Oh, and my dad used to snap his belt to scare us. We would run so fast but he never hit us with it, just scared the heck out of us!
I never want to physically hurt my kids but I do believe in disciplining whether it be time outs or taking something away. I just feel like now of days, so many kids have no fear or respect for their parents.
mrsdraskin2009
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Re: sensitive topic alert------how will u and fh punish your children?
I don't think its fair to necessarily figure out punishment before children are actually involved; I think a lot of the punishment and discipline depends on the child and the circumstances.
Do I condone physical violence as a means of punishment or discipline? No way. However, if my child attempts to touch a hot stove, I would slap their hands away and say NO sternly.
Parenting is complex as it is and a lot of it has to do with the parents being fair, balanced and judicial in their methods for discipline.
christine2010
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Re: sensitive topic alert------how will u and fh punish your children?
my mom used to throw wooden spoons. we never got spanked. my mom would yell & if we where really bad my dad would yell, which only happened once & my sister cried hysterically.
FH & I have discussed this & we both said we would never spank our kids. my SIL spanks my nieces & nephew all the time, its causes many disagreements. my brother just yells at the kids. he yells so loud that my dad was scared of him a couple of times.
we will use time out & punishments.
rdubs
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Re: sensitive topic alert------how will u and fh punish your children?
Neither my FH or I were spanked or hit as children. There was a lot of yelling in my household but I never got spanked. I think they threatened it and that was enough for me.
We have never really talked about it but we are both very mild-tempered people so we better have angelic children or we are both going to get walked over by our kids.
mzmahagony
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Re: sensitive topic alert------how will u and fh punish your children?
We both believe in talking to them and taking things away but the minute that doesn't work I would beat their butts......I grew up getting my butt beaten but only when i deserved it and I don't see anything wrong with it but I do want to try talking it out first and having beating be the last choice.
JC297
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Re: sensitive topic alert------how will u and fh punish your children?
I was hit a lot. I dont believe in it so i wont be doing it to my kids. FH feels differently, but Ive told him how its made me feel my whole life so his feelings have changed a lot on the subject.
Jna2010
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Re: sensitive topic alert------how will u and fh punish your children?
Posted by KatieG2010
punishment for sure... you are in charge of the kids they are not in charge of you. When we were younger we knew who was boss. Now, the parents let the kids get away with murder. There is no discipline and the minute you give that kid a well deserved slap you got cuffs on.
i completely agree
MrsSoto
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Re: sensitive topic alert------how will u and fh punish your children?
Posted by mrsdraskin2009
I don't think its fair to necessarily figure out punishment before children are actually involved; I think a lot of the punishment and discipline depends on the child and the circumstances.
Do I condone physical violence as a means of punishment or discipline? No way. However, if my child attempts to touch a hot stove, I would slap their hands away and say NO sternly.
Parenting is complex as it is and a lot of it has to do with the parents being fair, balanced and judicial in their methods for discipline.
well said
marinai7
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Re: sensitive topic alert------how will u and fh punish your children?
My dad was very strict when my sister and I were young but he never hit me and I turned out fine. I am totally 100% against hitting kids - there are plenty of other ways to discipline them. Hitting does not and will not solve anything. JMHO.
Aliaxtra
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Re: sensitive topic alert------how will u and fh punish your children?
I think the difference lies in we consider as 'hitting' a good smack in the butt doesnt do harm- but there are limits of it..
I have 2 boys.. a soon to b 10 year old and a 2 year old..
My eldest NEVER gave me a problem until he hit 5th grade this year.. he is still a very good boy who brings home great grades..but i see the peer pressure and the attitude.. for example.. the ONE time i did smacked him and that was on the butt - turned his butt cheeks red.. was because he was INSISTING on a cell phone.. he would NOT understand the concept of NO~ to which i got frustrated- needless to say that topic of convo never came up again... But i personally dont find anything wrong with a smack in the butt here or there- we r not talking about beatings.. but he has to get me a point.. and my son- boy.. he has my big mouth.. he HAS to have the last word..
Shoot- if my mother could still hit me with a wooden spoon, or a belt, or chuck a slipper from the opposite end of the room i think she would..
CarolAnn721
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Re: sensitive topic alert------how will u and fh punish your children?
I honestly can't say. I don't intend on hitting or punishing my children, but who know what the future may bring. If my daughter is chasing my son with a knife (like I did to my brother when I was little), I may smack her. I don't know. I can't say I will never do this or only do that.
cleokizzy
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Re: sensitive topic alert------how will u and fh punish your children?
Posted by weddingbees
i'm from the midwest and i think i have a differente feeling on this than a lot of people out here.
FH and I were both spanked if we got in trouble among other punishments, including having things taken away, being grounded etc. depending on what the incident was.
i was never like 'beaten' but i did get hit with a belt a few times by a grandparent.
i think spanking is totally okay if you've given warnings, and tried other punishments and the kid continues to do it. just my opinion. i would never smack a kid in the face or actually be rough with them, but a smack on the butt or hand - sometimes you need to do it.
kids today get away with murder. i don't want my kids running around thinking they run the show.
FH says he doesn't think he will 'be able' to spank our kids but i think when the time comes he will. our children will be respectable kids whatever it takes. i will not contribute to the cluster-youknowwhat that is today's youth LOL.
i agree... i come from the far east and i got spanked and/or grounded depending on the 'crime' that was done. i've had the whole belt in my butt (sometimes the leather part, sometimes *gasp* the buckle!). my grandfather was the worst but i'm lucky he had a stroke so he was unable to beat the hell out of me when i was young (he had my cousin kneel down on rock salt for a few minutes - yep! that's what you call old school discipline!).
it was difficult with this kind of discipline but all of us in my extended family turned out well so i'm not against the old school discipline. however, it will ONLY be done if there really is a reason to it. i'm not into hitting kids just because of a burst of emotion or just because...
kater08
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Re: sensitive topic alert------how will u and fh punish your children?
Posted by mrsdraskin2009
I don't think its fair to necessarily figure out punishment before children are actually involved; I think a lot of the punishment and discipline depends on the child and the circumstances.
Do I condone physical violence as a means of punishment or discipline? No way. However, if my child attempts to touch a hot stove, I would slap their hands away and say NO sternly.
Parenting is complex as it is and a lot of it has to do with the parents being fair, balanced and judicial in their methods for discipline.
I think the point of the post was just to see if people were for or against it currently...not carve out in stone how you were going to handle punishment for the next 20 years.
I can say I am against it, but if my 10 yr old son was to call me a c***, I would smack him in the face without a thought.
MikesBride2B
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Re: sensitive topic alert------how will u and fh punish your children?
FH and I run a tight ship...we use a reward system in which FSD gets 10 smilies a day (each worth 5 cents). Each time she is disrespectful or disobeys, she loses a smilie. This is how her allowance works...if she doesn't earn any money, then its her own fault.
We also deal out time outs and take away toys and such. FH used to spank her, but all it taught her was to hit when she was angry...I made him stop doing it when she scratched at his face during an argument.
I won't lie though, honestly if she did something absolutely horrendous I might spank her.
