Sexual Harrassment in the workplace...(kinda long)

I was just put in the most awkard position.

There's this salesman at my job 'John' who realllly has it in for another salesman 'Dave' who recently started working here. I was stupid enough to share with John some of the phone conversation that I had with Dave, wherein Dave made a not so appropriate remark about my sex life. I really wasn't that offended by it, so I basically handled it by telling him it was none of his business and left it at that. Well, now John used this info (for his benefit) and went to his boss, who is also my boss (the Regional V.P.) and told him about the convo.
So now, my boss asked me to put it in writing...which I am not comfortable doing, because honestly, I don't feel like I was sexually harassed!! I did think the comment was inappropriate/none of his business and I told him so, but now I feel like John is using me in his quest against Dave, and that Pi$$es me off. I know I should've kept my mouth shut and not tell John about the phone convo. I had with Dave, but I honestly didn't think he'd use it as ammo against him!! What the hell do I do now???


ETA:

the conversation was about coupons for vitamin C that he offered me (because I was very sick last week)
and it basically went like this:

Dave: I sent you an email for a $2 coupon off of Vitamin E

Me: Vitamin E? I thought it was for Vitamin C?

Dave: Well that's what's on sale this week.

Me: Nah, thanks but no thanks. I'll wait for the Vitamin C

Dave: Well that's fine, but I guess you don't care about your sex life.

Me: Excuse me?

Dave: That's what its good for. Your skin, and your sex life.

Me: Well, I'd take it for my skin, and as for the other part, that's none of your business.

Dave: Ok, just letting you know.

omg.
What a nerve. Shouldn't you be the one allowed to make this type of accusation?
What if you don't want to or you didn't think it was?
Will you get in trouble?

he did use you and i think that is horrible! And horrible that you had to deal with that other guy saying inappropriate crap....

I think you should be able to be the one who decides what you write statements about....

I don't think you should have to be force but i am not sure.

I would totally stick to not putting this in writing. Especially, if you did not feel sexually harassed.

How does your boss feel about him? Does he like him? hate him?

I would talk to your friend and explain how pissed off you are for putting you in the middle just for his sake.

I totally feel for you!!

Wow!!! I don't know what to say!. I remember that happening to me but it was not sexual harassment. Mine was that they wanted to get rid of the store manager that I was working for when I was at the outlets. I decided to quit because this company just played dirty and I did not want to back stab anyone. I liked my manager. So one of the higher ups took me out to lunch and badgered me for 2 hours to try and get me to spill the dirt on her. I wouldn't and was glad when my last day came.

Either way you are stuck because he is going to know you were talking about him with another co-worker and now he is going to have to sign off on this paper.

I think that *****! I would definitely explain the situation to your boss and tell him how you think the other guy is just using it for his benefit!

---

Posted by MrsERod

I just edited my original post with the conversation in question...please read it and tell me what you think?

---

I do think that it was definitely not in his place to say that but maybe he wasn't saying it in a serious way. either way, I don't think that sexual harrassment.jmo

that wasn't sexual harrassment at all, IMO

john is using you

If the comment made you feel uncomfortable then it is considerd harrassment. If you do not feel that it was then explain to your supervisor how you feel and you don't think the matter should be persued at this time. Especially since the supervisor heard of the situation only thru an un-involved third party.

---

This is why you have to be so careful what you tell others at work, everyone has such big mouths!

---

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO TRUE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You cannot be forced to make a complaint. If you were not offended, you weren't harassed. Therefore, you should not be putting anything in writing.

Your boss had an obligation to follow up with you to make sure that you weren't uncomfortable.

So, if you like, you could put in writing that you had a conversation, but that you don't feel like you were harassed.

omg! i wouldnt put it in writing either!
i would confront John and tell him thanks alot and that he no longer has your trust. what a jerk?! i cant believe he used you like that!

a very similiar thing happened tosome friends of mine! one friend 'jenna' made a comment about 'dwight' al in good fun.. hes gay though.. anywya 'wendy' overheard it and told the boss.... and 'jenna' got fired for sexual harrassment!!!!!

im so sorry to hear this!!!!! be very carefeul.. you dont want Dave to lose his job!

From the The U.S. Equal Employment Opportunity Commission:

Facts about sexual harrassment

Sexual harassment is a form of sex discrimination that violates Title VII of the Civil Rights Act of 1964.

Unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature constitutes sexual harassment when submission to or rejection of this conduct explicitly or implicitly affects an individual's employment, unreasonably interferes with an individual's work performance or creates an intimidating, hostile or offensive work environment.

I don't think this is the case--it's up to YOU if you were offended or you feel a hostile work environment, then it's sexual harrassment, IMO

Sexual harassment can occur in a variety of circumstances, including but not limited to the following:

The victim as well as the harasser may be a woman or a man. The victim does not have to be of the opposite sex.
The harasser can be the victim's supervisor, an agent of the employer, a supervisor in another area, a co-worker, or a non-employee.
The victim does not have to be the person harassed but could be anyone affected by the offensive conduct.
Unlawful sexual harassment may occur without economic injury to or discharge of the victim.
The harasser's conduct must be unwelcome.

It is helpful for the victim to directly inform the harasser that the conduct is unwelcome and must stop. The victim should use any employer complaint mechanism or grievance system available.

Prevention is the best tool to eliminate sexual harassment in the workplace. Employers are encouraged to take steps necessary to prevent sexual harassment from occurring. They should clearly communicate to employees that sexual harassment will not be tolerated. They can do so by establishing an effective complaint or grievance process and taking immediate and appropriate action when an employee complains.
___________________________
I think that this jerk John is using you--YOU weren't offended, but this states that someone else can be offended... however, he didn't hear the conversation, it was something you said. I think you should tell your boss that you were not offended by the conversation and that John is blowing everything way out of proportion.

If, however, they have it in for Dave, they might try to force you to say it. They might be trying to build a case against him to have him fired, in which case there is probably nothing you can do about it.

Ok..I just had a meeting with my boss. I told him exactly how I felt about the situation, and he was very understanding.
He said that ultimately what it boils down to is how the remark made ME feel and not what others feel/think. He left the ball totally in my park and said he'd back me up, whatever my decision. (my boss is great!) I told him that I didn't feel comfortable bringing it to the level that John would like, and that I am very upset that John would try and use me in his quest against Dave. My boss agreed. I also told him that although I do feel the comment was unprofessional and inappropriate, I in no way felt harrassed. Now he's having another meeting with John, so we'll see what happens.