Should I be upset?

I'm not sure what to think right now ...

I told FMIL the colors of the wedding months ago, and then corrected her numerous times since. I've also made it VERY clear that wearing black to your son/daughter's wedding is a sign that you disapprove, and I made sure to say this in front of all the parents at the same time ...

Can you guess what color pants she just bought?

She plans on wearing a lilac top, so I'm not sure what to think here ... I read her email telling me this at my mother's dinner table, and all she did was shake her head. FH seems to think its not such an issue though.

What do you ladies think?

ETA: I just wrote back to her, only saying 'what made you change your mind' in regard to her going from a gown to pants. Good?

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Posted by IrishAli

I see your point, but black pants IMO is different than a black dress. She is wearing a nicer top

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I was kinda thinking the same thing at first, but when I saw my mother's face, I started to think twice.

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Posted by IrishAli

I see your point, but black pants IMO is different than a black dress. She is wearing a nicer top

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I have to agree

I have NEVER seen black worn to a wedding until I came to NY. Also, in the back your mind....did you think she was actually going to do what you ask? FMILs are known for seeing what they can get away with. FH doesn't see it as an issue, because most boys wouldn't- they just don't get it. I hope you can talk to her, and maybe she can return them for a more appropriate color

Sorry she's messing with you

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Posted by anszusterman

did you think she was actually going to do what you ask?

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Hahaha, I really thought, since I put everyone on the spot together, that she would at least try to comply ... At this point, I'm so fed up with correcting her on colors and such, that I'm just going to leave it. She's been a freaking yo-yo with her wardrobe since the ring went on my finger! 'oh, I can't wear shoes ... I can't do heels ... I never wore a gown ... I might do pants ... I'm gonna do a dress ...' and the list goes on.

I don't think wearing black pants is bad at all. In fact, I don't think there is anything wrong with wearing black to a wedding. A little black dress is timeless!

We're all wearing white which symbolizes purity and virginity but I'm sure that's not the reason we're all wearing that color!

In the end, regardless how you feel about the color, I don't think you should let it get to you. If you told her how you felt it might turn into a bigger issue than it is.

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Posted by jovigirl414

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Posted by anszusterman

did you think she was actually going to do what you ask?

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Hahaha, I really thought, since I put everyone on the spot together, that she would at least try to comply ... At this point, I'm so fed up with correcting her on colors and such, that I'm just going to leave it. She's been a freaking yo-yo with her wardrobe since the ring went on my finger! 'oh, I can't wear shoes ... I can't do heels ... I never wore a gown ... I might do pants ... I'm gonna do a dress ...' and the list goes on.

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and least she's not wearing white! LOL

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Posted by mtk1605

Coming from a girl whose MIL wore black ( and totally bc she hates me) she is screwing with you. And MOG wearing pants? It's her day to shine, wth?

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Yep ... She's doing pants. No gown. Before she bought the pants, she told me she decided on getting a gown. She claims she can't do a gown because she can't wear nice shoes due to her feet. But I told her that, if the gown is long enough, no one will see what's on her feet. I guess I didn't drill that enough ... MOG is wearing pants, and FOG refuses to get a tux ... Nice, right?

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Posted by anszusterman

and least she's not wearing white! LOL

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GOOD POINT!!!

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Posted by jovigirl414

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Posted by mtk1605

Coming from a girl whose MIL wore black ( and totally bc she hates me) she is screwing with you. And MOG wearing pants? It's her day to shine, wth?

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Yep ... She's doing pants. No gown. Before she bought the pants, she told me she decided on getting a gown. She claims she can't do a gown because she can't wear nice shoes due to her feet. But I told her that, if the gown is long enough, no one will see what's on her feet. I guess I didn't drill that enough ... MOG is wearing pants, and FOG refuses to get a tux ... Nice, right?

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MIL took her shoes off when she got to the hall, never pitchmen back on, not even to dance with her son....just think you will look gorgeous regardless, you are not in charge of their wardrobe. As far as shoes...seriously?? No nice shoes bc of her feet? I am handicapped have serious balance issues and walk with a limp, if I can find shoes to walk in, anyone can. Depends how bad you want it! Ugh!!

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Posted by jovigirl414

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Posted by mtk1605

Coming from a girl whose MIL wore black ( and totally bc she hates me) she is screwing with you. And MOG wearing pants? It's her day to shine, wth?

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Yep ... She's doing pants. No gown. Before she bought the pants, she told me she decided on getting a gown. She claims she can't do a gown because she can't wear nice shoes due to her feet. But I told her that, if the gown is long enough, no one will see what's on her feet. I guess I didn't drill that enough ... MOG is wearing pants, and FOG refuses to get a tux ... Nice, right?

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UGH I hate difficult inlaws!!! I feel for you, FH's family are horrible as well!

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Posted by Tomsbride
A little black dress is timeless!

We're all wearing white which symbolizes purity and virginity but I'm sure that's not the reason we're all wearing that color!

In the end, regardless how you feel about the color, I don't think you should let it get to you. If you told her how you felt it might turn into a bigger issue than it is.

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I hear ya on the timeless little black dress ... I don't believe the 'disapproving' theory unless its parents of the Bride/Groom ... and I totally agree with you on Brides wearing white, lol!

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Posted by jovigirl414

wearing black to your son/daughter's wedding is a sign that you disapprove

What do you ladies think?

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is this true?!? my FMIL asked me if there was anything inparticular i wanted her to get in a dress (style, color, etc)... i just said floor length, but anything else would be fine. after finding a dress in black, she asked if that was okay, and truthfully, i thought it would look nice - elegant and formal.

do you think people will think that she's trying to make a statement? she could not be happier about our upcoming marriage, and i'd hate for people to think otherwise.

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Posted by Debbie2011

is this true?!? my FMIL asked me if there was anything inparticular i wanted her to get in a dress (style, color, etc)... i just said floor length, but anything else would be fine. after finding a dress in black, she asked if that was okay, and truthfully, i thought it would look nice - elegant and formal.

do you think people will think that she's trying to make a statement? she could not be happier about our upcoming marriage, and i'd hate for people to think otherwise.

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I don't want to scare you ... I'm not sure where it originated, but I believe its an old-fashioned thing. Lately, most people don't believe in that though. I still (personally) kinda do. If your FMIL is happy for you guys getting married, then that's all that matters.

i don't really see a problem with your FMIL wearing black.

eta: my FMIL is wearing black too.

haaa i am laughing at this bc i am doing a black and white wedding so both mom's and my g-ma are wearing all black :) i guess it is a ny thing.
opps!