Should we invite this couple?

BnBdreamin Posted: Jun 23, 2006 10:06 PM

Should we invite this couple?

Okay.... all etiquette aside.. we are so on the fence at this point!

Long story short... invited to e-party, didn't come... invited to shower, didn't come... do we still invite to wedding?

For details, read on...

FI had this 'friend' who would come over all the time while we were dating... at least twice a month. FI's known him for years and we live in the same town. The would trade tools, FI would repair and weld his lawnmower (landscaper), he gave FI a band saw and teak patio set.

So... still thinking he's a friend, we invite him and his wife to our e-party. They did not RSVP, FI had to call to find out they were not going to make it because they had to go out of state. No card, no gift (not that we were expecting). After that, they kind of fell off the face of the earth.

So we were like okay... I guess we'll take them off the list. Then a few months later, we run into them at a restaurant and they were all about how's the wedding plans? How exciting! So we put them back on!

Now I just had my shower last weekend and she was a no show. My sis said she called like the day before to say she's not coming.

Ya think we should still send them a wedding invite at this point just for good PR? I don't want to look like the nerdy kid begging for friendship that's not there! Ugh! We have new friends in our lives that we'd love to invite but you have to be politically correct and invite the old ones that you've lost touch with! What the heck!!!!

What would you do? FI told me to ask you guys and whatever you say we'll do!!!!!

sr081906 Posted: Jun 23, 2006 10:14 PM

Re: Should we invite this couple?

Tough call. You could be stucked with a no show even with a RVSP.

prunepie Posted: Jun 23, 2006 10:14 PM

Re: Should we invite this couple?

i say invite them..... if they rsvp no... then you have your answer if they consider you guys friends or not...... i really think that will be the test.

it makes you and fh the 'bigger' people ,, bc you are giving them the benefit of the doubt that they really couldnt come to the first two events..but like they say 3 strikes and you are out!!

xoxox jenn

patticakes Posted: Jun 23, 2006 10:19 PM

Re: Should we invite this couple?

I read this twice and honestly, I don't think I would invite them. How often do you hear/see them besides running into them??? I wish I could say definitely one way or the other.

FrogGirl0917 Posted: Jun 23, 2006 10:22 PM

Re: Should we invite this couple?

Posted by patticakes

I read this twice and honestly, I don't think I would invite them. How often do you hear/see them besides running into them??? I wish I could say definitely one way or the other.

I'm on the fence about it too....Definately take into consideration how often you speak with them.

And your FH is one smart guy!!!

hmpena Posted: Jun 23, 2006 10:28 PM

Re: Should we invite this couple?

My thought is to still invite them. Be the better person. if they do reply yes, I would still consider them not coming. After that, you can wash your hands clean of them.

patticakes Posted: Jun 23, 2006 10:33 PM

Re: Should we invite this couple?

Okay so I asked FH and he says to not invite them also...I think I am so fed up with the etiquette thing and tired of people forgetting their manners.....what happened to common courtesy?

R&J0806 Posted: Jun 23, 2006 11:23 PM

Re: Should we invite this couple?

i think that if you invited them to the e-party and the shower, they need to be invited to the wedding.

cherryj24 Posted: Jun 24, 2006 09:21 AM

Re: Should we invite this couple?

Posted by robynlevy

i think that if you invited them to the e-party and the shower, they need to be invited to the wedding.

My thoughts exactly. Show or no show. Some people (though they are married and know the routine) do not take the other things like e-parties and showers, quite as seriously. They might really want to be there for the big day. Not that thats right, but like other posters have said do the right thing.

anglbyme Posted: Jun 24, 2006 09:35 AM

Re: Should we invite this couple?

3 times a charm? Invite them if they don't show I'd wipe them off the friends list.

suven Posted: Jun 24, 2006 10:11 AM

Re: Should we invite this couple?

After living through my own wedding, RSVPs, no-shows, etc, I'll tell you this: It's 99% likely that they'll no-show at your wedding and then you'll hate yourself for having invited them.

shellibean Posted: Jun 24, 2006 10:45 AM

Re: Should we invite this couple?

Posted by robynlevy

i think that if you invited them to the e-party and the shower, they need to be invited to the wedding.

I think I have to agree! See how things turn out, they could surprise you in the end! Good luck!

October Bliss Posted: Jun 24, 2006 12:00 PM

Re: Should we invite this couple?

Honestly, I would invite them, but also invite the others you want to be there. Chances are since they were a no show for all previous events they won't come to this either, but if it's only one couple over or under does it make a difference in the grand scheme of things? (for us, one couple really did make a financial impact, but your situation might be different).

moonlithaze Posted: Jun 24, 2006 12:05 PM

Re: Should we invite this couple?

I would still invite them.

suzybilly819 Posted: Jun 24, 2006 12:09 PM

Re: Should we invite this couple?

I would invite them and not count them as coming unless you receive a timely RSVP.

It is worth the invite in case you run in to them.

snydl40 Posted: Jun 24, 2006 04:14 PM

Re: Should we invite this couple?

Invite them-but if they don't RSVP they are out.

mrsh2b Posted: Jun 24, 2006 04:30 PM

Re: Should we invite this couple?

i think you have to bite the bullet and invite them if you invited them to the other 2 things

BnBdreamin Posted: Jun 24, 2006 06:09 PM

Re: Should we invite this couple?

Thanks everyone! Quite mixed replies so am I still on the fence?! Kinda sorta!!!

Well I have no personal attachment to the guy.. or his wife. And FI... well... he's a guy so I'm not sure he cares. She was the one who came up to us (which was the second time I ever saw her, the first was in Costco... we really just hang out with the hubby) and FI and I were looking at her like who are you, until he came over!

And it's not a financial thing but our venue does sit down dinner for 200 or less otherwise we have to do a buffet. Either way, doesn't matter but we'd prefer sit down. Our invite list is up to 224 and we know some pre-no's but lots of wouldn't miss it for the world's! May sound weird but we really would like to get a good deal of regrets so we can activate the ever unetiquetted 'B' list!!! Bwahahahahahahahahahaha!!! Sad huh?! I know one couple doesn't make or break it but drops in the bucket, ya know?!

So... I think because you guys were mixed, and FI could care less, I'll have to go with my good Bride heart and do the right thing however crossing every finger and toe that they have to go to Georgia that weekend! Doh!!!!!

Thanks guys! I knew I can count on you's!!!!

hbradio Posted: Jun 25, 2006 02:47 PM

Re: Should we invite this couple?

I would say no....they should move off the list not because of their previous ettiquette on the other events but only because they dont sound like the closest of friends.