since this is a wedding website - what is your opinion on same sex marriage?

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Posted by deby

I voted no... however, I do think they should be able to have a union, which gives them the same legal rights as married couples. Writing this down, though, I realize that there really isnt much of a difference between a marriage and a union, so why even have this distinction?

Let me refine my comment then. I think the state should allow gay marriage, but each religion, church, etc. should have the right to not recognize or perform such marriages. So gay couples can be legally married in city hall, but the church cannot be forced to do the same (unless they choose to).

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This I agree with 100%!!! From my perspective, no one is asking the church (or other religious affiliation) to permit gay marriage. It is utterly and completely against the laws of the church and that's fine with me!

Since we have separation of church and state I see no legitimate reason for the government to prohibit it.

I'm finished now. Thanks ladies, for keeping me occupied all day!

If 2 people are in love and committed to each other what difference should their sexual orientation make!

JMO

eroxgirl, my thoughts exactly!!!

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Since we have separation of church and state I see no legitimate reason for the government to prohibit it.

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Exactly...forget about the Catholic Church. We could make a whole different post about all of the things they forbid. If gays want to get married, let them. How does it hurt any of us?

Polls do indicate that the majority of the country believes gay marriage should not be legalized. Bush probably figures most people who believe it should are not going to vote for him anyway so he might as well appeal to the masses. Kinda like how he spent the absolute minimum amount of time campaigning in NY four years ago. He knew it was a lost cause. 90% of what he says is less his opinion than his politics.

Having said that, I doubt he is a fan of gay marriage....

On another note, a close girlfriend has a lesbian sister. When the lesbian and her partner come home to visit my friend's mother, she lets them sleep in the same bedroom because she says if they could get married, they would, but they have no choice. My friend and her live in boyfriend sleep separately because they have the right to get married but choose not to. Interesting.

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Posted by shamma

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Posted by Sage10.03

I agree....I don't want to bash anyone for their opinion I just want to understand it.
I would be intersted to hear the opposing views and opinions....

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Sage, not everyone might be as open as you, to hear, rather read opposing views on a topic, so instead of being open, they bash.

I am open to hearing everyone's opinion as well, its just that some people do not feel comfortable stating theirs, b/c on more than one occasion on many a threads people have been treated badly for stating their opinion.

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I am in complete agreement with Sage and generally try to understand where other people are coming from in order to understand why they have formed an opinion. I am also completely open to explaining my views to others as best I can.

Unfortunately, Kelly was the first and only one to respond as to why she voted no, and she was the first to be questioned as to her feelings on it. However, no one else asked that the other people who voted no explain themselves. None of the people who voted yes demanded that others stand up and explain why they felt that way. Kelly herself started the thread to others. I think that the problem here is that it is assumed that when one is in the minority, and others are questioning their views, it can be construed as an interrogation rather than a request, and I understand how that happens very easily.

I just feel that the words 'attack' and 'bash' get thrown around too easily. I think, for the most part, everyone in this thread has been generally respectful in their questions and in trying to understand other points of view. But once someone states that someone is attacking or bashing, everyone gets their hackles up and starts to react defensively, thereby creating a tense atmosphere that leads to attacks and bashes, where there were none intended in the first place.

Does that make sense? I think that respectful discourse between points of view is one of the best things in the world - without asking questions, you don't learn anything. I believe there is a lot more fear in not asking questions and sharing your beliefs and opinions than in having the discussion. People tend to fear the unknown.

I for one, applaud everyone who stated their opinion, and equally respect those who chose not to.

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Posted by Jenn P

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Since we have separation of church and state I see no legitimate reason for the government to prohibit it.

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Exactly...forget about the Catholic Church. We could make a whole different post about all of the things they forbid. If gays want to get married, let them. How does it hurt any of us?

Polls do indicate that the majority of the country believes gay marriage should not be legalized. Bush probably figures most people who believe it should are not going to vote for him anyway so he might as well appeal to the masses. Kinda like how he spent the absolute minimum amount of time campaigning in NY four years ago. He knew it was a lost cause. 90% of what he says is less his opinion than his politics.

Having said that, I doubt he is a fan of gay marriage....

On another note, a close girlfriend has a lesbian sister. When the lesbian and her partner come home to visit my friend's mother, she lets them sleep in the same bedroom because she says if they could get married, they would, but they have no choice. My friend and her live in boyfriend sleep separately because they have the right to get married but choose not to. Interesting.

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'THE' Lesbian??

Also...While Bush may not appeal to the sophisticated people of NY, he does to much of the country.

Politics is just like any other buisness. Behind Bush are tons of people analyzing how to get to the goal, which is to be elected to a second term. I believe that each candidate will say and do whatever they can within the guidelines of their party to get the undecided vote. Some things (abortion, gay marriage) are such hot button issues, people will adjust their entire way of voting to the stance that the candidate takes.

Moral of the story is, this is why voting is so important. If we want to change the system, we need to be active in selecting our officials and getting them out if they dont do the job that is best for the country. Many people (my beloved DH included) complain about the system, but dont vote or do research about what each candidate stands for. That makes me nuts. Bush has never made any secret of his feelings about gay marriage or abortion- if those issues are important to you personally, dont vote for him in November

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Posted by MarcellaBella

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Posted by CIMINOK

in answer to your question...i wanted the solid commitment from my boyfriend to love me and honor me (etc. etc. etc.) all the days of our lives...i wanted to promise myself to him and him promise himself to me from that moment on...you get the idea...i wanted to do this before god in church. in my church...

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exactly, so why shouldn't they be allowed to do the same?

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Marcella - you took the words out of my mouth!!

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Posted by shelzyp

Marcella - you took the words out of my mouth!!

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In my opinion it is posts like these that are construed as mean-spirited, 'ganging up on' and/or bashing...

Jannshari, I think you should go into politics Well said!

The question to be debated (for those who have an interest in debating it and stating the basis for their opinion rather than stating their opinion immediately followed by a refusal to discuss it) is whether the state should permit gay marriages. The state can't make any religious institution recognize a marriage. If I married a non-Catholic, my church would not recognize my marriage and there is the nothing the state could do to intervene. And there shouldn't be.

To me the issue is less about being homophobic or refusing to draw a line somewhere. It is about the privacy and liberty rights involved as well as the separation of church and state. It is scary to me that we have elected officials who want to regulate sexuality, literally. The state of Texas recently went before the Supreme Court to argue that the state has the right to pass laws which regulate morality in defense of a law which made sodomy between homosexuals a crime, but permitted sodomy between heterosexuals. Texas, and several other states, effectively made it a crime to be homosexual and they prosecuted two men for violating that law. Thankfully the Supreme Court ruled against Texas.

I believe that I can be opposed to something due to my religious beliefs (such as abortion), but also recognize the right of people who do not hold my religious beliefs to have an abortion. If the only argument to be made against an activity is a religious argument, than the government should not be banning that activity because the Constitution says that religion and state will be separate. Bush and the religious right have no idea what that means.

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Posted by CIMINOK

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Posted by shelzyp

Marcella - you took the words out of my mouth!!

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In my opinion it is posts like these that are construed as mean-spirited, 'ganging up on' and/or bashing...

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Actually I was about to type the same thing, and then when I saw she wrote it I hit the quote button.

Noone is bashing you, you are being too sensitive to questions, if you are comfortable in your convictions, you should have no problem expaining them.

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Posted by Becky

Jannshari, I think you should go into politics Well said!

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Becky, lay off the crack, ok? I have absolutely no desire to go into politics. Blech.

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Posted by shelzyp

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Posted by CIMINOK

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Posted by shelzyp

Marcella - you took the words out of my mouth!!

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In my opinion it is posts like these that are construed as mean-spirited, 'ganging up on' and/or bashing...

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Actually I was about to type the same thing, and then when I saw she wrote it I hit the quote button.

Noone is bashing you, you are being too sensitive to questions, if you are comfortable in your convictions, you should have no problem expaining them.

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Understood

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Posted by CIMINOK

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Posted by shelzyp

Marcella - you took the words out of my mouth!!

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In my opinion it is posts like these that are construed as mean-spirited, 'ganging up on' and/or bashing...

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how is it ganging up? and/or bashing?

edited to say that I agree with shelzyp..

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Posted by sonia

i wouldn't say i'm for it, but i wouldn't say i'm against it either. it just doesn't make much sense to me.

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Ditto!

I belive that homosexuals should have the right to marry. Many of my friends and most of my co-workers are gay and 95% are in longterm committed relationships. The fact that I have the right to be planning my wedding and they do not is horrible.

I remember reading earlier that it was an economic issue. I have to state that I think that allowing same sex unions would help our economy. What do you think the amount is the amount of money that all of us combined are spending on our weddings? Think of all that revenue going into the USA. 2. I also feel that the more people in this country that are insured the better. We have a health care crisis in this country and I don't believe that not allowing gay marriage is going to solve that one. 3. Also, my FH and I are not offiliated with any religion. We are not getting married in a church and there will be no mention of God in our ceremony. Still, at the end of our ceremony we will be legally married. I guess my point is that marriage only has a religious meaning if you are religious. So, let the church not allow gay marriages but, still allow the state too.

These are just my opinons. I enjoy reading other peoples and maybe seeing someone else's point of view. This is not meant to offend just to add to the healthy debate.

[

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'THE' Lesbian??

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What is your point?

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Also...While Bush may not appeal to the sophisticated people of NY, he does to much of the country.

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I believe you miscontrued my point. I was making an analogy by linking how he doesn't visit NY when campaigning because it's a lost cause to how he's bringing this up as an issue to appeal to the voters who he thinks can help keep him in the White House. NY can't. That's all I meant.

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Posted by CIMINOK

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Posted by shelzyp

Marcella - you took the words out of my mouth!!

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In my opinion it is posts like these that are construed as mean-spirited, 'ganging up on' and/or bashing...

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And what was your 'THE Lesbian' comment all about?