Slider may be Icelandic...

He just sauntered over to my desk and handed me a sealed envelope. 'Don't worry, it won't blow up in your face,' he snots at me. Seriously, shut up already. I open it up and it's a card. This card:


Not creepy enough for you? This is the poem printed inside the card:

Nicholas was...

...older than sin, and his beard could grow no whiter. He wanted to die.

The dwarfish natives of the Arctic caverns did not speak his language, but conversed in their own, twittering tongue, conducted incomprehensible rituals, when they were not actually working in the factories.

Once every year they forced him, sobbing and protesting, into Endless Night. During the journey he would stand near every child in the world, leave one of the dwarves' invisible gifts by its bedside. The children slept, frozen into time.

He envied Prometheus and Loki, Sisyphus and Judas. His punishment was harsher.

Ho.

Ho.

Ho.

Slider didn't sign it or anything. Just a little slice of terrifying for these days of Yule.

P.S. This is actually part of a set of Christmas note cards!

Should I slam a door on the b@stard????

Sorry, Liz, but Neil Gaiman rocks!

Ok, but maybe not so festive. Slider was just trying to show he's hip- again.

This is the creepiest Christmas ever!

First Icelandic trolls and now a suggestion that Santa doesn't actually enjoy trudging around the entire world to bring gifts to little boys and girls all in one night!!!!

Seriously, does your company's insurance cover psychiatric care??????

Neil Gaiman may indeed rock, but this card, unsigned, and given to me by Slider? It's little too Creepy McStalks-A-Lot for me and, he HAS to drop the attitude! If you're going to stalk me, why be b!tchy about it?

It's obvious I don't like him, at all. He insists on trying to maintain communications with me, but he's all snotty and insulted?? Dude, take a ******* hint... when I said 'leave me alone' that doesn't mean 'be bratty and make snide comments'

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Posted by wc0143

Should I slam a door on the b@stard????

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No, wait, let me! I'll snatch his sausage!!

I really think you should just drop him on his @ss(hat)

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Posted by MonkeyLuv

Neil Gaiman may indeed rock, but this card, unsigned, and given to me by Slider? It's little too Creepy McStalks-A-Lot for me and, he HAS to drop the attitude! If you're going to stalk me, why be b!tchy about it?

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maybe he wants you to spread the Christmas cheer with it.

Did he put your name in it?

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Posted by usuk2004

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Posted by wc0143

Should I slam a door on the b@stard????

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No, wait, let me! I'll snatch his sausage!!

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Oh I bet you will!! (tramp!)

But what if it's not venison???

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Posted by tourist

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Posted by MonkeyLuv

Neil Gaiman may indeed rock, but this card, unsigned, and given to me by Slider? It's little too Creepy McStalks-A-Lot for me and, he HAS to drop the attitude! If you're going to stalk me, why be b!tchy about it?

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maybe he wants you to spread the Christmas cheer with it.

Did he put your name in it?

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No! blank envelope... blank card... nasty attitude when handing it to me.

W T F

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Posted by MonkeyLuv

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Posted by tourist

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Posted by MonkeyLuv

Neil Gaiman may indeed rock, but this card, unsigned, and given to me by Slider? It's little too Creepy McStalks-A-Lot for me and, he HAS to drop the attitude! If you're going to stalk me, why be b!tchy about it?

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maybe he wants you to spread the Christmas cheer with it.

Did he put your name in it?

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No! blank envelope... blank card... nasty attitude when handing it to me.

W T F

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Ooooh!! So fill it in as follows:

Dear Slider,

F ? C K OFF!!!!

Liz

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Posted by MonkeyLuv

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Posted by tourist

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Posted by MonkeyLuv

Neil Gaiman may indeed rock, but this card, unsigned, and given to me by Slider? It's little too Creepy McStalks-A-Lot for me and, he HAS to drop the attitude! If you're going to stalk me, why be b!tchy about it?

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maybe he wants you to spread the Christmas cheer with it.

Did he put your name in it?

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No! blank envelope... blank card... nasty attitude when handing it to me.

W T F

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I think that translates to, 'If you returned by affection, I'd give you this stylin Christmas card, but since you are shutting me out, here is a hint of what you are missing.'

I'd just put it back on his desk & say, ' oops, I think you dropped this'

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Posted by wc0143

Ooooh!! So fill it in as follows:

Dear Slider,

F ? C K OFF!!!!

Liz

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I still don't think he'd get it. Also, where does he get off copping an attitude with me?! 'Don't worry, it won't blow up in your face?'

Shut the **** up!

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Posted by wc0143

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Posted by usuk2004

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Posted by wc0143

Should I slam a door on the b@stard????

---

No, wait, let me! I'll snatch his sausage!!

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Oh I bet you will!! (tramp!)

But what if it's not venison???

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Sounds to me like it's more of the rodent variety anyway....

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Posted by tourist

I'd just put it back on his desk & say, ' oops, I think you dropped this'

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Oooooohh!! I LIKE that!!!

That would be soooo classic!!!!

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Posted by MonkeyLuv

can I try to stab him with it?

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With a card...?

Well, I guess it's not that far off...last night on CSI a little girl killed a woman by stabbing her with a pink pen...