My cousin is currently not speaking to me from an incident that happened three thanksgivings ago. She is vegetarian and brought over a tofurkey to our house for thanksgiving. She heated it up in my oven in my apt upstairs. It smelled awful...like something was wrong w/ it.
I made a few comments about the smell, and then I was curious as to the taste so I was asking her and her bf how it tasted. I could see her getting upset, so I stopped talking about it, and I apologized.
She apparently complained to her mom (My aunt and Godmother) and my aunt called me and yelled at me for upsetting her. I calmly explained that I saw her getting upset and I STOPPED and APOLOGIZED. What more could I do? She went on to say how she's really sensitive and blah blah blah. I apologized yet again to my aunt and thought that would be the end of it.
Nope. On the way to Christmas at my uncle's in Jersey, my dad brings it up again and starts yelling at me. I got really upset and it ruined my whole day. I thought a huge deal was being made out of this when it shouldn't be.
So my cousin was at christmas and I just avoided speaking to her to avoid conflict. She had mentioned how she went to CHristmas eve at her boyfriend's house who is Chinese. I was curious as to what they ate, so I asked her boyfriend. He answered with no problem but apparently this was entirely inappropriate of me, she got mad at me AGAIN, and refused to talk to me ever since.
I find this extremely ridiculous. She was invited to my shower, and refused to attend. Her mom gave me a 'gift' from her which was a cappucino maker that was clearly used and repackaged. The box looked like it had been sitting in someones basement for about 3 years. I didn't send a thank you card to her, because 1. I doubt she even knew she 'gave me a gift' and 2. She couldn't be bothered to come or talk to me so why should I?
Well my dad and my uncle both attacked me through text and email while I was at work and were saying how I really need to send a thank you card and how without it she won't come to my wedding and really upset me at work. I at first wasn't going to, but I gave in and figured I would be the better person.
Now yesterday my mom tells me that my cousin won't be attending. I was put through all this misery and complete BS over a f'n tofurkey for her to refusse to come to my wedding?
Now I don't even want her there and I refuse to speak to her. My dad thinks I'm being unreasonable, but I think he is taking her side, and I didn't do anything wrong.
Am I overreacting??
Irishbride16
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Re: So annoyed (rant: long)
Hi Hun.. First of all not for nothing she is acting like a 12 year old .. If she an adult she should handle this without getting other people involved ...my cousin is too a vegetarian and some stuff she eats is gross but I don't pat att. Really lol but she is acting like a brat and this will bit her in the *** one day when she gets older ...I think u r not and u have every right to be mad.. Give me a break ...she has to learn that it was a question and to get over herself ..she like a princess really ... I'm sorry you r going though this and it's not fair at all ...and as far as the gift she give u ...I would say that it does not work and were is the gift receipt ..don't let anyone get involved though in the family ...hey should back off ... Good luck
Serenalee13
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So annoyed (rant: long)
Honestly I had to laugh when I was reading this because it is such a ridiculous fight. I don't think you did anything wrong. I think your cousin is acting like a baby. In my family we would probably say 'I can't believe you are eating that it looks/smells disgusting' and we would all probably laugh about it. I'm sorry you are going through this. I would also be upset if my dad didn't take my side over something so petty. I would send a thank you note and return the gift to whereever you think they got it.
Pinkisles
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So annoyed (rant: long)
Thanks girls. She is 22 years old and is far from a child, but that is exactly what she is acting like.
i sent a very tasteful thank you card. Saying thank you for the gift and for thinking of me. Sorry you couldn't make the shower.
And I still get zip from her. She needs to grow the F up.
Now i'm kind of glad she is not coming to my wedding...I don't need a spoiled brat ruining my day.
DB2013
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So annoyed (rant: long)
You did the right thing. You are the bigger person. I agree totally that she is acting like a 12 year old. Don't let it ruin the rest of your planning and wedding!
MarryTheNight24
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So annoyed (rant: long)
Unfortunately she seems to be very immature. It sucks, but as much as she may be in the wrong you should just be the bigger person in this situation. It's better to suck it up and just kill someone with kindness to try and keep the peace. Do what you have to do to squash this and don't let it get in the way of your wedding plans.
db276952
Posted:
Member since
So annoyed (rant: long)
OMG! This that is so crazy, it almost sounds made up! Who gets mad over a tofukey! So ridiculous. Clearly, she has bigger issues than this. You apologized and were the bigger person that should be enough. Sometimes even when I know I am right I take one for the team and call the person just to try and clear the air one last time if it is important to me. Even though it stinks and I hate doing it I have learned that people just need to hear that you were 'wrong' (even if you werent and I def DONT think you were) and that your sorry. I would totally devil's advocate her. Tell her what she wants to hear and secretly know you're right and she's crazy. It actaully feels really good afterwards.
fdnybride163
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Member since
So annoyed (rant: long)
I would send her a tofurkey and say peace out have a great life w your tofurkey
Ridiculous. I'm getting mad for you bc it seems like events adults are bein immature and unreasonable about this and she is probably reveling in it! Your better off without her there
Pinkisles
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Member since
So annoyed (rant: long)
I'd like to smack her upside the head w/ a tofurkey. I know it sounds so ridiculous because it is!!
I know I should be the better person, but I'm so tired of being the better person with her. She wouldn't do ANYTHING for anyone in my family. She's 22, lives at home, does not go to school, does not have a job, does not shower, and she's just fine w/ that.
It's going to be a very sad life for her without her family, because now she refuses to go to any function that i'm at. And I plan to go to everything!!
Pinkisles
Posted:
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So annoyed (rant: long)
I feel better ranting about it on here, so thank you girls.
fdnybride163
Posted:
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So annoyed (rant: long)
If she chooses to alienate herself then you better make sure you always say what an amazing time you had just to rub it in that she is missin out by being a stupid brat and your going on living your life and didn't even think about her and her stinkin tofurkey
fdnybride163
Posted:
Member since
So annoyed (rant: long)
If she chooses to alienate herself then you better make sure you always say what an amazing time you had just to rub it in that she is missin out by being a stupid brat and your going on living your life and didn't even think about her and her stinkin tofurkey
scottsbride
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Re: So annoyed (rant: long)
Posted by Pinkisles
I'd like to smack her upside the head w/ a tofurkey.
Im dying right now at this comment...
Pinkisles
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Re: So annoyed (rant: long)
Posted by fdnybride163
If she chooses to alienate herself then you better make sure you always say what an amazing time you had just to rub it in that she is missin out by being a stupid brat and your going on living your life and didn't even think about her and her stinkin tofurkey
She has already chosen to alienate herself, I just had hoped she would come around and realize how stupid it is to continue this. I know my wedding will be awesome and now that she's not there I won't have to toss anyone over the deck at Bridgeview :)
Pinkisles
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Member since
Re: So annoyed (rant: long)
Posted by scottsbride
Posted by Pinkisles
I'd like to smack her upside the head w/ a tofurkey.
Im dying right now at this comment...
Picturing it in my head is actually making me feel a LOT better
KroertGS
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Re: So annoyed (rant: long)
Such a ridiculous thing to be mad over!!!!! I mean really....not to talk for three years because of Tofurkey??!! There are more important things in the world...
fdnybride163
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Member since
Re: So annoyed (rant: long)
Posted by Pinkisles
Posted by fdnybride163
If she chooses to alienate herself then you better make sure you always say what an amazing time you had just to rub it in that she is missin out by being a stupid brat and your going on living your life and didn't even think about her and her stinkin tofurkey
She has already chosen to alienate herself, I just had hoped she would come around and realize how stupid it is to continue this. I know my wedding will be awesome and now that she's not there I won't have to toss anyone over the deck at Bridgeview :)
The fact that your having your wedding at the best venue on the island is reason enough to be jealous
Too bad too bc the bridal suite is on the second floor, it would be one heck of a trip!
melnmatt2013
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Member since
Re: So annoyed (rant: long)
Posted by fdnybride163
Posted by Pinkisles
Posted by fdnybride163
If she chooses to alienate herself then you better make sure you always say what an amazing time you had just to rub it in that she is missin out by being a stupid brat and your going on living your life and didn't even think about her and her stinkin tofurkey
She has already chosen to alienate herself, I just had hoped she would come around and realize how stupid it is to continue this. I know my wedding will be awesome and now that she's not there I won't have to toss anyone over the deck at Bridgeview :)
The fact that your having your wedding at the best venue on the island is reason enough to be jealous
Too bad too bc the bridal suite is on the second floor, it would be one heck of a trip!
Just dont break anything tossing her overboard! I need everything in good condition for the next weekend!! LOL
saxtrevNmeg
Posted:
Member since
So annoyed (rant: long)
I'm glad you feel better after venting. This whole thing is pure ridiculousness.
You did the right thing. You wrote the thank you note. Now it is ENTIRELY on her.
And enjoy your drama-free wedding!!
Irishbride16
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Re: So annoyed (rant: long)
Posted by Pinkisles
Thanks girls. She is 22 years old and is far from a child, but that is exactly what she is acting like.
i sent a very tasteful thank you card. Saying thank you for the gift and for thinking of me. Sorry you couldn't make the shower.
And I still get zip from her. She needs to grow the F up.
Now i'm kind of glad she is not coming to my wedding...I don't need a spoiled brat ruining my day.
And I don't blame you ...u did nothing wrong she's at fault and need to grow up like u said ... And your family needs to stop getting involved ...leave this between the both of u
