So I told Mom about the knocked up BM....

Not that I feel I need to defend myself or my post, but I decided to post just to make a few clarifications for those of you that were 'saddened' or 'disturbed' by this post as well as for those of you who did not read carefully enough but yet felt that whatever small part you did read gave you the right judge me or simply extracted the parts you found offensive and only addressed those.

First of all, my first instinct and thought in all this was, and still is, she's pregnant, so what? She will still be my BM and of course I still want her there. My reasons for even considering suggesting she step down were NOT because of the way my pictures would look or some other shallow interpretation of the situation. How anyone could think from reading this post that the only reason for 'firing' or 'booting' (none of which were my words, they came from FH, and were meant in a lighthearted tone, I might add, as was the pg expression) a pg BM is because of the way she looks or is going to look in pics only tells me some of us didn't do too well in reading comprehension. I think pregnant women are beautiful.

My family, however, does NOT think young unwed pg women are quite as beautiful. However liberal and accepting I am, they are definitely not and this will bring ALOT of negative attention and drama to me and to her on my wedding day. This is just NOT something that is OKAY in my family. It will be more than just a few snickers and gasps. It will be a big to-do. I'm glad that for you guys it's no biggie, but not in my family. So it's pretty easy for you to sit there and say 'just stick by your friend'.

So while it's okay for alot of people get on here and whine about what their FMIL will say when she finds out you invited so and so and this causes a major drama for you and your family -- no one can quite see how this could be a major drama and a major source of avoidable and undue stress in my family. Interesting. I was surprised at how judgemental most of you were...

Anyway... maybe my post sounded a little brash but it was meant to be in a very lighthearted tone, sometimes that doesn't come across correctly in writing. I must say it was very interesting reading your replies... especially since you don't know the whole story...which was indeed the kind of replies I wanted.

Anyway, in case anyone cares to know, I spoke with my PG BM whom I lovingly refer to as 'Buddha' now . We discussed the situation. I told her I had the dress situation all figured out, but that she had to think about how she was going to feel being 8 mos pg and being in the wedding as well as the family situation. There are alot of factors for her to consider for herself. She is going to start breaking the news to the family and we'll take it from there and see how it goes. She told me from the beginning that she would not be offended at all if I asked her to step down and that she would totally understand. I told her that I wanted to make sure she knew how important it was to me that she be in and how much I wanted her to be in and that we will work something out.

I guess I forgot to mention that yes, she is my cousin.

doesn't sound like you are too close with her. if thats the case- kick her out but if she is a good friend ask her what she wants to do


Oops.. i take that back i just read your second post.

Personally, I wouldn't kick her out for being prego....but I would talk to her and ask her how she feels about it...
if she wants to leave the bridal party on her own...then thats fine...
but to ask her to leave I wouldnt do that.

Keep us posted.