Spinoff from nrvbrd's post, Would it bother you if DH or FH...

Original post by jennbaby

Jul 08, 2003 12:36 PM

didn't want to add your name onto the house?

This is not my case but just a spinoff question.

Cindy Posted: Jul 08, 2003 12:55 PM

Re: Spinoff from nrvbrd's post, Would it bother you if DH or FH...

It would definetely bother me. I lived with my husband before we got married (my name was not on the house) and he was going to put my name on right before our wedding. I was very bothered knowing all the things that I was putting into the house and my name wasnt on it while we were living together. It was an issue for me....

shamma Posted: Jul 08, 2003 12:55 PM

Re: Spinoff from nrvbrd's post, Would it bother you if DH or FH...

If Roger had a house and he did not want to put my name on the deed/mortgage we would have to get a house together to have both our names on it. I would feel as if I was living on eyelash If he blinks I could fall off.

Diane Posted: Jul 08, 2003 12:56 PM

Re: Spinoff from nrvbrd's post, Would it bother you if DH or FH...

ABSOLUTELY YES!!!!!!!

jennbaby Posted: Jul 08, 2003 12:57 PM

Re: Spinoff from nrvbrd's post, Would it bother you if DH or FH...

Shamma

Cindy very good point!!!!

shamma Posted: Jul 08, 2003 01:01 PM

Re: Spinoff from nrvbrd's post, Would it bother you if DH or FH...

If Roger refused to put my name of it, there would be none of my money spent on his house. b/c that is exactly what it is. Would I even be able to hang my art work that I like, would I have to seek permission. I would be so bothered. I would not be able to deal.

jennbaby Posted: Jul 08, 2003 01:04 PM

Re: Spinoff from nrvbrd's post, Would it bother you if DH or FH...

yea Shamma I agree

michele31 Posted: Jul 08, 2003 01:06 PM

Re: Spinoff from nrvbrd's post, Would it bother you if DH or FH...

I think this is a question of PRE-MARITAL assets, not marital assets- right?
Pre- Marital- I owned my condo myself before Scott and I got really serious. We only owned it for 2 months after the marriage since we brought our home right away BUT the money used as the downpayment came from the sale of my condo. We have an agreement that the money used for the downpayment would always be mine, in case of a (God Forbid) divorce. If we didn't buy the house so quickly I would have added his name on the deed with an agreement (legally) that the condo's value up to that point was soley mine in the event of a divorce.
I do not believe that the minute you get married everything should be owned by both parties. If you have worked hard for something (savings, a home, a boat, whatever) you have every right to protect your investment.
I have seen way, way too many divorces, including my parents, not to protect myself and my child. My mother was totally helpless when my Dad left and I would never be in that position myself.

Editted to say this: In the case of marital assets. Those things should be equal partners. I would never marry a man who didn't think I should be placed on the deed of OUR home. Even if I was a SAHW or SAHM our home is OURS, not one over the other. I am not saying that a couple cannot have their own bank accounts or savings if that is agreed upon, but home OWNERSHIP should be joint.

Latina511 Posted: Jul 08, 2003 01:07 PM

Re: Spinoff from nrvbrd's post, Would it bother you if DH or FH...

It really depends on the situation but it would bother me if he didn't want my name on the house on 'just because'.

Wendy Posted: Jul 08, 2003 01:13 PM

Re: Spinoff from nrvbrd's post, Would it bother you if DH or FH...

Shamma that was my situation. DH owned his house before we were married. It was actually his parent's house which he inherited (along with the mortgage) when his parents passed away. When we first got married it never even occured to us to add me to the deed. The mortgage was in DH's name though and I always sort of felt like it was 'His house' not ours. He would always tell me that it was our house, it just didn't feel that way. When we refinanced the mortgage last year to do work on the house my name was included on the mortgage. We asked the lawyer who was doing our closing if this meant that I now owned the house and he said no. Just that I was responsible for paying for it. At that point DH made sure I was added onto the deed. Now it is my house too!!!

shamma Posted: Jul 08, 2003 01:14 PM

Re: Spinoff from nrvbrd's post, Would it bother you if DH or FH...

Latina, that is a big just b/c

shamma Posted: Jul 08, 2003 01:16 PM

Re: Spinoff from nrvbrd's post, Would it bother you if DH or FH...

Wendy, that is exactly what I am talking about, I would want to feel as if I have some say and it would bother me, look how much better you felt after the adding of your name. Knowing me it would not get to the point where I feel like I am just here in his house.