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Spinoff QOTD - would you tell your FH if you cheated on him?

LuvMyAlfonse Posted:

Spinoff QOTD - would you tell your FH if you cheated on him?

Had me wondering about honesty and I actually told my DH this the other day - that if he cheated (one time thing) on ME - to never, ever tell me.


So, if you cheated (one time thing) would you tell him or just live with the guilt? And would you want him to tell you?



MrsHtobe Posted:

Re: Spinoff QOTD - would you tell your FH if you cheated on him?

I don't think I would be able to live with the guilt. . . and I think that I would probably want to know. I don't know if I would stay married - but I'd still want to know. . .

davenjess Posted:

Re: Spinoff QOTD - would you tell your FH if you cheated on him?

i would never be able to live with myself if i so much as kissed another guy....so i'd tell him.

we do have a firm agreement, cheating is unforgivable.. i would never look at him the same way again and he would never see me the same way.

it's our only deal breaker.
Future Mulligan Posted:

Re: Spinoff QOTD - would you tell your FH if you cheated on him?

i have no idea - ive thought about this one too - my mom once told me sometimes its not worth hurting someones feelings and ruining everything if its just a one time, didnt mean a thing, slip up - she was referring to some drama from back in the day - there is a secret still being kept by some people and i was shocked but she said sometimes better not knowing - i dont know how i feel about that kind of stuff....im on the fence....i hope that it nevers happens to me - at this point in my life i 100% trust myself to not screw up....

Espo22 Posted:

Re: Spinoff QOTD - would you tell your FH if you cheated on him?

WOW very hard question.

I cheated when i was a teenager lol but dont think if now in my 20's if i could deal with the guilt actually lol i know i cant deal with the guilt, i wouldnt be able to. I think most people their instinct is to do anything for the other person not to find out. At least from what ive seen others do, you hope the other doesn't find out. But knowing how i am, i would be so paranoid at all times that he would find out, i am the worst at this and think at one point the truth comes out somehow.

would i want to know? my first instinct is to say yes, more so if its an ongoing thing. But then i would probably hate that i know but at the same time glad i knew, if that makes sense.

Its very hard to tell what i would really do or what i would really want to know. I truly believe that unless you're in the situation you have no idea how you will react, alot of ppl think they know but ive just seen WAAAAY too many people always talk about what they would do and when it really happened they acted completely different.

MikeandJess Posted:

Re: Spinoff QOTD - would you tell your FH if you cheated on him?

this is a toughie. I think I'd rather have him live with the guilt than have me feel like crap for being cheated on, but whose to say it would only be once?

emomma17 Posted:

Re: Spinoff QOTD - would you tell your FH if you cheated on him?

Posted by LuvMyAlfonse

Had me wondering about honesty and I actually told my DH this the other day - that if he cheated (one time thing) on ME - to never, ever tell me.


So, if you cheated (one time thing) would you tell him or just live with the guilt? And would you want him to tell you?





I would never be able to live with the guilt of this. The whole dynamic of the relationship would change in my eyes. If he did it I would absolutely want to know and there would be no turning back. I could forgive him but I would never forget it and the relationship would never work. I wouldn't be able to let it go..I've always said that is the one thing I will not work through.
yelley77 Posted:

Re: Spinoff QOTD - would you tell your FH if you cheated on him?

Posted by davenjess

i would never be able to live with myself if i so much as kissed another guy....so i'd tell him.

we do have a firm agreement, cheating is unforgivable.. i would never look at him the same way again and he would never see me the same way.

it's our only deal breaker.


ditto and amen.

Although, if put in the situation, I do not know if I'd feel the same about the 'deal breaker'.
Mrs. V 2008 Posted:

Re: Spinoff QOTD - would you tell your FH if you cheated on him?

I would definately tell him..marriage is based on trust..so to not tell him is very wrong...and fh would do the same (i'm sure) ..I would never be able to stay in a relationship if that happened..even if it were once...If the intention was there to cheat..how much could someone possibly love and respect you..it disrupts the whole meaning of marriage in my opinion

jessNsteve Posted:

Re: Spinoff QOTD - would you tell your FH if you cheated on him?

If i ever did anything that stupid I would have to tell him and deal with the reprecusions of my actions. I also know that my dh would probably leave me b/c he is against cheating more than anyone i have ever met and i dont think he could get past it but if I was dumb enough to throw away my marriage than i deserve it in my opinion

Maria31 Posted:

Re: Spinoff QOTD - would you tell your FH if you cheated on him?

Posted by yelley77

Posted by davenjess

i would never be able to live with myself if i so much as kissed another guy....so i'd tell him.

we do have a firm agreement, cheating is unforgivable.. i would never look at him the same way again and he would never see me the same way.

it's our only deal breaker.


ditto and amen.

Although, if put in the situation, I do not know if I'd feel the same about the 'deal breaker'.


Took the words right out of my mouth!!

Cheating is unforgiveable.. I don't care if it's once or more. If he or I could bring ourselves to be intimate with anyone else, then in my eyes, the relationship is pretty much over in the first place.
Autumn08 Posted:

Re: Spinoff QOTD - would you tell your FH if you cheated on him?

I already told FH if he found himself unhappy that something like that may happen to come to me then... before it happened. I'd rather him be honest than not and I'd give him the same respect. That's us though... I know people who would rather not know.

Future Mulligan Posted:

Re: Spinoff QOTD - would you tell your FH if you cheated on him?

Posted by Espo22

WOW very hard question.

I cheated when i was a teenager lol but dont think if now in my 20's if i could deal with the guilt actually lol i know i cant deal with the guilt, i wouldnt be able to. I think most people their instinct is to do anything for the other person not to find out. At least from what ive seen others do, you hope the other doesn't find out. But knowing how i am, i would be so paranoid at all times that he would find out, i am the worst at this and think at one point the truth comes out somehow.

would i want to know? my first instinct is to say yes, more so if its an ongoing thing. But then i would probably hate that i know but at the same time glad i knew, if that makes sense.

Its very hard to tell what i would really do or what i would really want to know. I truly believe that unless you're in the situation you have no idea how you will react, alot of ppl think they know but ive just seen WAAAAY too many people always talk about what they would do and when it really happened they acted completely different.



yeah i cheated on like every boyfriend i ever had i met FH when i was 18 turning 19 and he was 21 so we were both immature when it came to relationships - i dont think either one of us ever respected the people we were with before eachother - so we didnt care and just did whatever we wanted - and also i dont think either one of us was ever in love the way we are with eachother....20's are different than teens - and we both grew up A LOT since we have been together - we met because we were cheating on other people with eachother - but i feel that doesnt even count b/c i never really felt that any of my relationships were 'serious' i mean how serious can you be at 16, 17, 18? KWIM
GinaZ Posted:

Re: Spinoff QOTD - would you tell your FH if you cheated on him?

I would never cheat so this doesnt pertain to me. I would never put myself in this situation. So I dont really know how to answer it...

ETA: If DH cheated on me, I would want himt o tell me because I'd rather find out from him than someone else.
Kimbalina Posted:

Re: Spinoff QOTD - would you tell your FH if you cheated on him?

I would not want to know. Especially if it was a Opps one time thing etc... If I had suspcions and ASKED.. then tell me the truth.


I think I would keep it to myself and deal w the guilt if I ever made that mistake.
LuvMyAlfonse Posted:

Re: Spinoff QOTD - would you tell your FH if you cheated on him?

Posted by Kimbalina

I would not want to know. Especially if it was a Opps one time thing etc... If I had suspcions and ASKED.. then tell me the truth.


I think I would keep it to myself and deal w the guilt if I ever made that mistake.


ditto.
yelley77 Posted:

Re: Spinoff QOTD - would you tell your FH if you cheated on him?

Posted by Kimbalina

I would not want to know. Especially if it was a Opps one time thing etc... If I had suspcions and ASKED.. then tell me the truth.


I think I would keep it to myself and deal w the guilt if I ever made that mistake.


I don't understand how an oops happens, though...

ETS: i should explain. 'oops' to me sounds like an accident and in my opinion, cheating isn't an accident.
Mrs. V 2008 Posted:

Re: Spinoff QOTD - would you tell your FH if you cheated on him?

Posted by yelley77

Posted by Kimbalina

I would not want to know. Especially if it was a Opps one time thing etc... If I had suspcions and ASKED.. then tell me the truth.


I think I would keep it to myself and deal w the guilt if I ever made that mistake.


I don't understand how an oops happens, though...

me neither..if the intention was there..that is unforgivable imo...how can a person really love care or respect you if he would go do something like that
Future Mulligan Posted:

Re: Spinoff QOTD - would you tell your FH if you cheated on him?

what i was trying to get across in my other post was that other guys i was with - i knew i wasnt going to marry them, i liked them but i never saw myself with any of them for a lifetime - basically i didnt care about them enough to not cheat on them - i was always looking for someone better to come along - and when i met my FH things were different and changed - i was also getting a little older and more mature - i couldnt picture myself cheating on someone at this age even if i was just dating them - i think that is just a mature/respect thing - when i was younger i was immature and selfish - i was like a teenage boy
yelley77 Posted:

Re: Spinoff QOTD - would you tell your FH if you cheated on him?

Posted by Future Mulligan

what i was trying to get across in my other post was that other guys i was with - i knew i wasnt going to marry them, i liked them but i never saw myself with any of them for a lifetime - basically i didnt care about them enough to not cheat on them - i was always looking for someone better to come along - and when i met my FH things were different and changed - i was also getting a little older and more mature - i couldnt picture myself cheating on someone at this age even if i was just dating them - i think that is just a mature/respect thing - when i was younger i was immature and selfish - i was like a teenage boy


absolute ditto.

FH is the only guy I ever dated that I didn't cheat on. I was always looking for something better (i'll chalk it up to being immature) and then when i met FH and felt like I've never felt before, I knew that I never wanted to hurt him or jeopardize what we have.

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