Spinoff to 'how big is it'

I don't want to start up any more drama, but can I offer a possible reason why people get so sensative about the size of the ring and not about the price of halls, etc.

Typically the guy buys the ring and we do the shopping for the other stuff. When we post about what we paid for a florist or photographer we may reveal how much that particular part of the wedding means to us or that we got a bargain.

Rings are a gift from our FHs and like it or not there is often an implication (TOTALLY unwarrented and usually untrue) about either the guy (like how much $$ he makes) or the relationship (bigger = better???) loaded in the specs.

Its not right that this happens, but that's what I got from reading the post of people who were offended. JMO

the bottom line is you should just be proud of what you DH or FH got you- it if it's a .25 carat - as long as you are happy it shouldn't bother you that someone else has a 3carat

if it does it's not the posters fault- that comes from with in you

there is always going to be someone who is richer, thinner, has a bigger ring, better hair, nicer car, newer home- but that doesn't mean there life is better then yours- and you shouldn't compare

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Posted by samnjenna

I don't want to start up any more drama, but can I offer a possible reason why people get so sensative about the size of the ring and not about the price of halls, etc.

Typically the guy buys the ring and we do the shopping for the other stuff. When we post about what we paid for a florist or photographer we may reveal how much that particular part of the wedding means to us or that we got a bargain.

Rings are a gift from our FHs and like it or not there is often an implication (TOTALLY unwarrented and usually untrue) about either the guy (like how much $$ he makes) or the relationship (bigger = better???) loaded in the specs.

Its not right that this happens, but that's what I got from reading the post of people who were offended. JMO

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I agree...
I also feel its not fair to judge or make snyde comments at the ladies who are proud about the rings. Plus just because your ring cost $$ does not mean FH has money. My ring was a little bit on the $$ side but not too extreme and by no means is FH rolling in the dough. If that was the case I wouldnt have needed 2 yrs to pay for a wedding.

If I could figure out how to take a good pic of my ring, I would...lol but anyway.....
My ring has a princess cut center stone of a little over 1 carat with 1 carat in the band as well (channel set baugettes). I never expected anything bigger but wouldn't have refused it if it was
The point is, everyone has different budgets. I am sure there are many FH's who make wayyyy more money than the next guy, so why not buy your girl a big rock? If I would have begged my FH for a big @ss rock (flawless of course), we probably wouldn't be getting married til 2012!!! lol. What I mean is, everyone does what works for them. Whether you have 3 carats or .5, you can't compare yourself to anyone else b/c everyone has a different sitauation. This would be a very heated web site if everyone tried to compare themselves to one another b/c we are all working with different budgets. No matter if we talk about diamonds or flowers. Some girls are wearing jewelry for the day of that probably costs more than my e-ring, but so what? That is awesome for them! Why should I be mad about that? It's not a big deal.
Lol...ok, sorry so long. I hope I made sense.

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Posted by angnick

ok, i just read the post. I am laughing my you know what off

what is the big deal how big or small your ring is. the important thing is, that FH cared enough to take the time to research and pick out a ring, he thought was perfect!
That is all that matters.. It is after all a piece of carbon!!!!

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piece of carbon or as I read in this groom's book---a kidney stone from the earth!

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Posted by jeanla4c

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Posted by angnick

ok, i just read the post. I am laughing my you know what off

what is the big deal how big or small your ring is. the important thing is, that FH cared enough to take the time to research and pick out a ring, he thought was perfect!
That is all that matters.. It is after all a piece of carbon!!!!

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piece of carbon or as I read in this groom's book---a kidney stone from the earth!

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I love my ring. Fiance and I discussed what size it would be and the size I got was exactly what I wanted. It's an average sized stone, but the way it looks on my hand is perfect and the quality is great.

If I hit lotto tomorrow, I wouldn't change a thing, except maybe buy myself some earrings to match!

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Posted by MrsWmson2be

I love my ring. Fiance and I discussed what size it would be and the size I got was exactly what I wanted. It's an average sized stone, but the way it looks on my hand is perfect and the quality is great.

If I hit lotto tomorrow, I wouldn't change a thing, except maybe buy myself some earrings to match!

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Same here, in fact, my ring is a couple points lower than what I wanted, but DH said the quality of the 'bigger' ring was not as good and didn't look as good in the setting. He actually apologized to me for not gettng exactly what I wanted! I wouldn't change a thing about my ring!

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Posted by MrsWmson2be

I love my ring. Fiance and I discussed what size it would be and the size I got was exactly what I wanted. It's an average sized stone, but the way it looks on my hand is perfect and the quality is great.

If I hit lotto tomorrow, I wouldn't change a thing, except maybe buy myself some earrings to match!

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and I would also get the matching bracelet and necklace

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Posted by Bridex100

Some people are just too sensitive.

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and insecure about what they have!

I had always told fh that I didnt want anything too big because i have very long narrow fingers and in general never liked the bigger rings of any type on my fingers. Mine is a .45 solitaire and it is perfect for me which is what is important.
What makes it more special is that I had wanted an antique ring from the 1920's that I had found on ebay but FH got outbid at the last moment and because he knew how much I loved it he took all the pictures of it that had been posted and brought them to a jeweler and had them recreate it. It means that much more to me because he put so much time and effort into it.
It's not about how much it cost it's about the feelings behind it. Had we gotten engaged a few years later when fh had a better job and more money would it have been different? Probably, but in my case I don't think it would have changed too much, because $$$$$ or not I got the ring that I loved and I don't think that would ever have changed.

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Posted by BrideInBlue

I had always told fh that I didnt want anything too big because i have very long narrow fingers and in general never liked the bigger rings of any type on my fingers. Mine is a .45 solitaire and it is perfect for me which is what is important.
What makes it more special is that I had wanted an antique ring from the 1920's that I had found on ebay but FH got outbid at the last moment and because he knew how much I loved it he took all the pictures of it that had been posted and brought them to a jeweler and had them recreate it. It means that much more to me because he put so much time and effort into it.
It's not about how much it cost it's about the feelings behind it. Had we gotten engaged a few years later when fh had a better job and more money would it have been different? Probably, but in my case I don't think it would have changed too much, because $$$$$ or not I got the ring that I loved and I don't think that would ever have changed.

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Do you ahve a pic, I would lvoe to see how it looks since you ahd it custom made, I love the antique look.

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Posted by Beth1210

the bottom line is you should just be proud of what you DH or FH got you- it if it's a .25 carat - as long as you are happy it shouldn't bother you that someone else has a 3carat

if it does it's not the posters fault- that comes from with in you

there is always going to be someone who is richer, thinner, has a bigger ring, better hair, nicer car, newer home- but that doesn't mean there life is better then yours- and you shouldn't compare

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I ABSOLUTELY AGREE!!!!!

I think it's also important to remember that for many men, choosing the engagement ring (and paying for it) can be one of the most stressful purchases they make. Since many engagment rings are likely also chosen with the groom's taste in mind, it can be really hurtful to a man if he sense his wife-to-be doesn't like it.

It's important in a case like that to realize the real reason you're getting married. You love your fiance, he chose you, and he loves you enough to put his heart and money into choosing a sentimental piece of jewelry for you. If you love him, take it, love him, and love it because of what it means, and pick out the wedding band you love.

I can't begin to tell you how many women I know with huge diamond rings and hundred thosand dollar weddings whose marriages lasted less than 2 years.

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Posted by BrideInBlue

I had always told fh that I didnt want anything too big because i have very long narrow fingers and in general never liked the bigger rings of any type on my fingers. Mine is a .45 solitaire and it is perfect for me which is what is important.
What makes it more special is that I had wanted an antique ring from the 1920's that I had found on ebay but FH got outbid at the last moment and because he knew how much I loved it he took all the pictures of it that had been posted and brought them to a jeweler and had them recreate it. It means that much more to me because he put so much time and effort into it.
It's not about how much it cost it's about the feelings behind it. Had we gotten engaged a few years later when fh had a better job and more money would it have been different? Probably, but in my case I don't think it would have changed too much, because $$$$$ or not I got the ring that I loved and I don't think that would ever have changed.

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Stephanie, that's a beautiful backstory. That makes your ring a thousand times more lovelier and more valuable than the other rings I've seen/heard of.

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Posted by samnjenna

I don't want to start up any more drama, but can I offer a possible reason why people get so sensative about the size of the ring and not about the price of halls, etc.

Typically the guy buys the ring and we do the shopping for the other stuff. When we post about what we paid for a florist or photographer we may reveal how much that particular part of the wedding means to us or that we got a bargain.

Rings are a gift from our FHs and like it or not there is often an implication (TOTALLY unwarrented and usually untrue) about either the guy (like how much $$ he makes) or the relationship (bigger = better???) loaded in the specs.

Its not right that this happens, but that's what I got from reading the post of people who were offended. JMO

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I agree that a lot of people in this world equate the size of the ring with the amount of $$ spent. As Lauren pointed out, DeBeers has done a great job with the phrase, 'How else can 2 months salary last a liftetime?' That often makes people feel bad. I personally don't see the big deal in posting the specs of my ring. In the end, I love the fact that DH loved me enough to get it. I even told him before we got engaged, I hope you get it on sale or get a good deal... I tried to encourage him to get it off ebay!

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Posted by smara

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Posted by BrideInBlue

I had always told fh that I didnt want anything too big because i have very long narrow fingers and in general never liked the bigger rings of any type on my fingers. Mine is a .45 solitaire and it is perfect for me which is what is important.
What makes it more special is that I had wanted an antique ring from the 1920's that I had found on ebay but FH got outbid at the last moment and because he knew how much I loved it he took all the pictures of it that had been posted and brought them to a jeweler and had them recreate it. It means that much more to me because he put so much time and effort into it.
It's not about how much it cost it's about the feelings behind it. Had we gotten engaged a few years later when fh had a better job and more money would it have been different? Probably, but in my case I don't think it would have changed too much, because $$$$$ or not I got the ring that I loved and I don't think that would ever have changed.

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Do you ahve a pic, I would lvoe to see how it looks since you ahd it custom made, I love the antique look.

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I wish I did but I cant find a way to get the camera to take a clear one and i've been trying sice we got engaged 2 years ago!....at this rate i'm going to have to wait the year and 1/2 or so till the wedding so I can get the photographer to take one!

ETB i dont know what happened here but my response got scrambled in with the quote....oh well all better now

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Posted by hmm8191

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Posted by Bridex100

Some people are just too sensitive.

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and insecure about what they have!

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I agree I think some women are insecure about the size of their ring and jealous at the size of others rings, so they try to make other women feel bad.

I think that if the size if someone elses ring offends you than you need to look into yourselfs not project your insecurity onto others.

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Posted by Mayflower

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Posted by BrideInBlue

I had always told fh that I didnt want anything too big because i have very long narrow fingers and in general never liked the bigger rings of any type on my fingers. Mine is a .45 solitaire and it is perfect for me which is what is important.
What makes it more special is that I had wanted an antique ring from the 1920's that I had found on ebay but FH got outbid at the last moment and because he knew how much I loved it he took all the pictures of it that had been posted and brought them to a jeweler and had them recreate it. It means that much more to me because he put so much time and effort into it.
It's not about how much it cost it's about the feelings behind it. Had we gotten engaged a few years later when fh had a better job and more money would it have been different? Probably, but in my case I don't think it would have changed too much, because $$$$$ or not I got the ring that I loved and I don't think that would ever have changed.

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Stephanie, that's a beautiful backstory. That makes your ring a thousand times more lovelier and more valuable than the other rings I've seen/heard of.

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Thank You! Thats exactly how I feel about it. Once I knew I wasn't getting the one I had found I just assumed he would pick something else... in fact I think I even sent him other ones that I liked...but I guess he felt how attached I had been to the other one and did what he could to make sure I got the ring of my dreams. He really is so sweet.