Spinoff to 'how big is it'

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Posted by Beth1210

the bottom line is you should just be proud of what you DH or FH got you- it if it's a .25 carat - as long as you are happy it shouldn't bother you that someone else has a 3carat

if it does it's not the posters fault- that comes from with in you

there is always going to be someone who is richer, thinner, has a bigger ring, better hair, nicer car, newer home- but that doesn't mean there life is better then yours- and you shouldn't compare

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So true!

This is a wedding planning board - we're all shopping for deals on a beautiful wedding, and discussing price on things that are yet to be booked is somewhat necessary. But we're not shopping for our rings anymore - that's done, otherwise we wouldn't be on this board. Therefore I would hold discussion of ring size akin to discussion of salary. Saying 'hey, I got a great deal on Jewelry from such and such Jewelers' is more appropriate, IMO.

People are defensive about their ring size because it's definite and indesguisable. I paid $x pp at my hall, but the food and service were so good that people didn't know how little I'd spent. But people look at a ring like mine, which is .5 c, and say rediculous things like 'Someday you'll grow up and realize it's not time to play dress up anymore'.

So I don't know just how much of it comes from the person themselves, or from society as a whole.

Personally, I love my ring - it was exactly what I asked for and I wouldn't trade it for the world. But I think it's kinda rediculous that people feel the need to put it down.

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Posted by BrideInBlue

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Posted by Mayflower

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Posted by BrideInBlue

I had always told fh that I didnt want anything too big because i have very long narrow fingers and in general never liked the bigger rings of any type on my fingers. Mine is a .45 solitaire and it is perfect for me which is what is important.
What makes it more special is that I had wanted an antique ring from the 1920's that I had found on ebay but FH got outbid at the last moment and because he knew how much I loved it he took all the pictures of it that had been posted and brought them to a jeweler and had them recreate it. It means that much more to me because he put so much time and effort into it.
It's not about how much it cost it's about the feelings behind it. Had we gotten engaged a few years later when fh had a better job and more money would it have been different? Probably, but in my case I don't think it would have changed too much, because $$$$$ or not I got the ring that I loved and I don't think that would ever have changed.

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Stephanie, that's a beautiful backstory. That makes your ring a thousand times more lovelier and more valuable than the other rings I've seen/heard of.

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Thank You! Thats exactly how I feel about it. Once I knew I wasn't getting the one I had found I just assumed he would pick something else... in fact I think I even sent him other ones that I liked...but I guess he felt how attached I had been to the other one and did what he could to make sure I got the ring of my dreams. He really is so sweet.

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That's such a sweet story.

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Posted by PrincessRose

This is a wedding planning board - we're all shopping for deals on a beautiful wedding, and discussing price on things that are yet to be booked is somewhat necessary. But we're not shopping for our rings anymore - that's done, otherwise we wouldn't be on this board. Therefore I would hold discussion of ring size akin to discussion of salary. Saying 'hey, I got a great deal on Jewelry from such and such Jewelers' is more appropriate, IMO.

People are defensive about their ring size because it's definite and indesguisable. I paid $x pp at my hall, but the food and service were so good that people didn't know how little I'd spent. But people look at a ring like mine, which is .5 c, and say rediculous things like 'Someday you'll grow up and realize it's not time to play dress up anymore'.

So I don't know just how much of it comes from the person themselves, or from society as a whole.

Personally, I love my ring - it was exactly what I asked for and I wouldn't trade it for the world. But I think it's kinda rediculous that people feel the need to put it down.

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I think its terrible that anyone would put your ring down. That is unbeleivable!

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Posted by LaurenluvsTJ

I think that the ring issue is different than the halls, etc. because all the wedding vendor things are done together as a couple, and often with our parents. The ring was done (in most cases) by our FH's alone. Its so hard to explain. But whenever these posts come up, you never ever see anyone post that they have a soliataire with a .25ct diamond.... and we know they are out there. Why is that?


Again I am sorry if I pushed anyone's buttons or hurt anyone's feelings, that was not my intention. I love you all.

edited because FH would be upset if he saw what I posted.....

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Well, I have a 3 stone princess cute 1/4 carat engagement ring and my wedding band is just plain ol' white gold. I love it, because my Fh picked it out for me and only me.

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Posted by PrincessRose

This is a wedding planning board - we're all shopping for deals on a beautiful wedding, and discussing price on things that are yet to be booked is somewhat necessary. But we're not shopping for our rings anymore - that's done, otherwise we wouldn't be on this board. Therefore I would hold discussion of ring size akin to discussion of salary. Saying 'hey, I got a great deal on Jewelry from such and such Jewelers' is more appropriate, IMO.

People are defensive about their ring size because it's definite and indesguisable. I paid $x pp at my hall, but the food and service were so good that people didn't know how little I'd spent. But people look at a ring like mine, which is .5 c, and say rediculous things like 'Someday you'll grow up and realize it's not time to play dress up anymore'.

So I don't know just how much of it comes from the person themselves, or from society as a whole.

Personally, I love my ring - it was exactly what I asked for and I wouldn't trade it for the world. But I think it's kinda rediculous that people feel the need to put it down.

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'Someday you'll grow up and realize it's not time to play dress up anymore'.

Someone actually said that to you??? That is just crazy! You love it, and it came from someone who loves you. That's all that matters at the end of the day!

we also talk about our overall budgets!!

I don't think its a big deal, if you don't want to talk about it, don't read the post!!

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Posted by Maybride519

'Someday you'll grow up and realize it's not time to play dress up anymore'.

Someone actually said that to you??? That is just crazy! You love it, and it came from someone who loves you. That's all that matters at the end of the day!

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Yes, and here's the kicker - It was My MOTHER IN LAW.

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Posted by PrincessRose

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Posted by Maybride519

'Someday you'll grow up and realize it's not time to play dress up anymore'.

Someone actually said that to you??? That is just crazy! You love it, and it came from someone who loves you. That's all that matters at the end of the day!

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Yes, and here's the kicker - It was My MOTHER IN LAW.

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WHAT!!!!

Yeah ok, all we talk about on these boards is Wedding Planning stuff - no I dont think so.

And for someone to say:

'Someday you'll grow up and realize it's not time to play dress up anymore'.
I would have went off on them and showed them how grown up I was. I dont think thats society though - I think that was just an ignorant snob. Its a shame that ppl can be so rude.

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Posted by PrincessRose

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Posted by Maybride519

'Someday you'll grow up and realize it's not time to play dress up anymore'.

Someone actually said that to you??? That is just crazy! You love it, and it came from someone who loves you. That's all that matters at the end of the day!

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Yes, and here's the kicker - It was My MOTHER IN LAW.

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Really.. So I guess smacking her wasnt an option huh... how did you handle it. My emotions would have gotten the best of me.

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Posted by Beth1210

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Posted by CaMacho

I just can't understand why people have to even post anything if they don't like the topic. There is no drama until THEY start it.

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another good piont!

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VERY good point!!!

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Posted by smara

Yeah ok, all we talk about on these boards is Wedding Planning stuff - no I dont think so.

And for someone to say:

'Someday you'll grow up and realize it's not time to play dress up anymore'.
I would have went off on them and showed them how grown up I was. I dont think thats society though - I think that was just an ignorant snob. Its a shame that ppl can be so rude.

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Sure we talk about a lot of things - otherwise I'd be long gone from here. I was giving an answer as to why I felt it was more appropriate to discuss the things in Sue's original post and not diamond size. Obviously I'm not offended by the implication that my ring is 'too small' because I'm fully willing to post how many carats my ring is. I'm simply explaining why some girls would find the conversation to be inappropriate, since that's the question originally asked.

And yes, the woman who made that comment is an ignorant snob who has no money to help her son but plenty of money to go on Vacation 6 times in 18 mos and lease a BMW convertible.

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Posted by Beth1210

the best is when you say you have a big center stone- and people post it must be bad quailty- or you are lying

but no one says that if you are paying a really low price for your hall, photo, video or DJ etc

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I completely agree!

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Posted by suven

HEY RACHEL!

The day after I got engaged, my MIL said 'my diamond is bigger than yours.'

DH was so mad because A. It's not bigger, it's actually 7 points smaller. B. Her's has a CHIP in it (she did it)

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You and I have some real winners, don't we???

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Posted by PrincessRose


You and I have some real winners, don't we???

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I'd say that we should introduce them, but then we'd be dealing with even worse demon-b!tches-from-hell

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Posted by LaurenluvsTJ
Yeah, you're right. Its a very strange topic.
Actually, its the diamond industry that I hate - DeBeers to be excact. Diamonds wouldn't be nearly as costly if it wasn't for them, because in fact, diamonds aren't even that rare. Its because this one company pretty much has a monopoly on the industry. Its a relatively new thing to give a diamond a promise for betrothal. It started in the U.S and is now spreading to other countries- like Japan. Now all Japanese brides want diamonds too.
Anyway, now I have turned this into something political lol.

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i happen to agree with what you are saying about the debeers industry. diamonds are a marketing scheme, and yes i bought into it too, but i made sure to get my diamond from a non-debeers mine (although i dont know if the mine conditions there were great, but probably better than debeers ones). it is kind of interesting if you go to other countries where women dont get e-rings- for example in germany. from what i understand for the german tradition, women AND men each give a ring to each other and place it on their LEFT hand, it then gets moved to the RIGHT hand at the wedding. i think it is a sweet tradition and me and FH almost did that b/c we met in germany and he really wanted a ring too. but i believe in the tradition of wearing the wedding ring on the left hand....

anyway, i found these articles interesting:

http://inquirer.gn.apc.org/afrodia.html

this one is a transcript from a TV show- a but of a long read.
http://www.pbs.org/wgbh/pages/frontline/programs/transcripts/1209.html

there is so much more info and you could do a search on it. this only touches the DeBeers, it doesnt even touch the whole sierra leone and other mines that are set up in Indigenous communities where they kick out the people that live there.

but i bought into their marketing too, b/c i like diamonds, but the info about it is interesting and sad at the same time.

sorry probably a bit off topic and long.

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Posted by PrincessRose

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Posted by smara

Yeah ok, all we talk about on these boards is Wedding Planning stuff - no I dont think so.

And for someone to say:

'Someday you'll grow up and realize it's not time to play dress up anymore'.
I would have went off on them and showed them how grown up I was. I dont think thats society though - I think that was just an ignorant snob. Its a shame that ppl can be so rude.

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Sure we talk about a lot of things - otherwise I'd be long gone from here. I was giving an answer as to why I felt it was more appropriate to discuss the things in Sue's original post and not diamond size. Obviously I'm not offended by the implication that my ring is 'too small' because I'm fully willing to post how many carats my ring is. I'm simply explaining why some girls would find the conversation to be inappropriate, since that's the question originally asked.

And yes, the woman who made that comment is an ignorant snob who has no money to help her son but plenty of money to go on Vacation 6 times in 18 mos and lease a BMW convertible.

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I understand what you were saying. But there is a bunch of posts like these and I feel the person shouldnt get attacked for wanting to talk about rings. For ex. talking about what someone is paying for there wedding really doesnt help me in planning my wedding, but someoen wanted to know. I think ppl shouldnt be neg. just becase they dont like a thread discussion, I think they should pass it by - ahh the power of a PC.

Plus I guess its the way a person sees it because I dont think .5 is a small diamond. Growing up I thought I would never have a diamond anything - so I am appreciative with whatever FH gets me.

I have to give you a for having your hands full with your MIL, she sounds like such a pleasure.

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Posted by klingklang77

sorry probably a bit off topic and long.

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I also have a non-Sierra Leone diamond