Starting up 'The Anti-Mother-in-Law' Club

Hello Ladies,

I have had it up to here with her. She is cold heartless and I just cant take it anymore. I am calling all brides to be to come and rant about their FMILs! I am not only the President of this club, I am also a member!

We went to brunch yesterday and proceeded to tell me she had a TERRIBLE time at my shower and that the food was horrible. Ok..yeah, I am not making this stuff up. She also kept looking at my plate at what I was eating. I have lost 15 lbs and I am really proud of that, I am working very hard, so I stuck to my diet yesterday. I had 1/2 of eggplant rollatine and she says 'Is that on your diet' and when I took a bite of my FH Brownie she commented on that too.

Not to even mention that my FH ended up in the ER on Friday b/c his blood pressure was through the roof! Did she call to see if he was feeling better at all this weekend? NO! did she stop by his apartment to see if he needed anything NO! he has to go for all these tests and I am a total mess and she is only concerned if we were going to see her on mother's day!

Anyways the list goes on..so come share stories!!!!

We all need some support here!!

And of course I have to give props to my FH, who sticks up for me ALL the time and puts her in her place (when she says things in front of him, ususally its when he isnt around!)

Love to all!
Steph

That is AWFUL I am soo sorry! I do not have any stories to share, as I very fortunately think FMIL is great.. and also lives upstate...

i think mine wins it all!!! FH does stick up so i'm happy about that ... but what a way to start a new family ... read on ....

OK, here's some quick background:

FH has been married twice. First marriage when he was 22 and in the USMC. Out of it came a son. After a few years of hell he left her and married a friend of his, kinda was a rebound. It lasted for about 9 months. He has been divorced for about 4 years now.

We met and instantly knew we would be together. We are soo happy and everything was wonderful until I met his Mother. At first, she was great ... outspoken, but so am I. Very opinionated, but I also can dish it out so I always felt comfortable talking w/ her. I did get some weird vibes .. she moaned when she heard we wanted to get married stating 'ANOTHER one?!' and again when we said we wanted kids. Then it was 'I'm sorry you're getting the short end of the stick CAroline' when I asked why? She said 'we've already paid for 2 weddings' ... which she didn't. She never congratulated us or gave one word of encouragement.

This past January (FH is now in the Air Force) FH was stationed in TX. His mother came down to LI (she lives in RI) to visit her other son who lives 10 minutes from us. He also has 3 children (boys 17 and 14 and a girl, 5). While she was here, the family, including my mom, went out to dinner. She spent the entire time bashing her son. I mean literally putting him down about everything.... the marriages, past screw ups, how SHE has always been the one to pick up the pieces. Well, long story short ... i went home in tears, called FH in TX, he called her ... you know how it goes.

Then, I gave her the news of no children under 12 at the wedding. I have about 10 on my side, FH has his 5 yr old niece. MIL did not like this, either did SIL. For the next few weeks, SIL began talking bad about FH and I around town, where it got back to me. MIL has not spoken at all except to say she will not come. When FH called his brother (we had asked him to be a groomsmen) he said he still was not sure what they were doing. SO, FH decided for them ... telilng his bro he had been replaced and not to worry about it at all.

I know this was probably the wrong way to go about it ... but FH is very stubborn and was not going to be dragged around for the next few months wondering if his brother was going to show for the BP let alone the wedding.

My feeling is it should not matter if youre married twice or 17 times ... that is your son! And your brother!! I really don't understand why they are acting like this ... all I can think is that they are using this as an excuse.

When it comes down to it, WE won't look bad, they will for not showing up. If they won't be there for you on an important day bc of a 5 yr old .. they won't be there anyway. FH is tired of it all and doesn't care anymore whether they are there or not. I know it hurts him, keeps saying 'i finally got it right, why can't they be happy?'

Are we wrong? How should we go about this until the wedding? We are going to send invites b/c if we don't it will turn into 'Well, they never invited us' instead of THEM making us choose. Please share some insight

i'm in!!! and its not like i hate my fmil, i mean shes not the greatest but she's not the worst. she is at least 100 lbs overweight and tells me that she will lose it by the wedding...'sarah, pass me another slice of pizza.' huh? ok,ma whatever you say. shes just nuts. she wants to control the list and everything that we are doing. she was like a lunatic planning the e-party. which i was grateful for, but i mean it was at the vfw in farmingdale, not the plaza.

i think it will get worse at the wedding gets closer...god give me strength

how about SIL's???!? mine is right up there w/ my MIL ... she never was tight w/ her but now they have something in common .. trying to hurt FH and I! my sil has run her mouth around town about FH and me... my FH is in the air force, so is his bro and sil ... they work on the same base... all of our friends (Who also work on the base) have said theyre just jealous b/c we're happy and it shows and they have to put up a front.

what is wrong w/ people!!!!!

Oh Steph- she and my FMIL must be pals. This woman is a miserable wench- my whole family can't stand her. Check on my post on the 05 board.

Here is a list of what she has done since meeting my FH.
1- Talked behind my back to his brother's GF about how I was TOO outspoken and then called me with a list of things she doesn't like about me, how I need to learn to be more tactful and how I was going to end up with no friends- this was the most ridiculious converstation. It was then followed up with phone call from insecure GF of brother with a list of her own complaints- like the time I said she was the 'hostess with the mostest' at her dinner party. My FH ended up screaming at his mom and not speaking to her for months.
2- Insulting my mom and correcting my sister's behavior at Christmas- causing them both to hate her.
3-Constantly telling me the right way to do EVERYTHING.
4- Letting me know she hates late evening events and would like our wedding to end at 9pm.
5- Telling me there should only be 125 guests at the wedding and if there were any more I had a problem.
6- Deciding on off-white chiffion palattzo pants and a mauve top as her outfit for the wedding- NOTE: I am wearing diamond white chiffion dress and my sister is in purple- isn't that MAUVE!
7- Final straw- telling FH on Mother's Day that she got the invite and that she can't believe we would have a two hour time in between the ceremony and cocktail hour. She said we should move it up an hour and half and inform ALL of our guests. Hello- the invites are out- I am NOT changing the time.

I would like to be Vice-President please!

Can I join?

I get sooo frustrated with my FMIL I feel like I could burst sometimes. Luckily she lives on the other side of the country, so contact is limited.

At our engagement dinner, the first time both of our parents had met, she informed everyone that when she found out we were engaged she cried. Feeling awkward my dad joked 'tears of happiness I'm sure'....she said 'no, not quite'....Everyone at the table was silent, It was one of the most upsetting/awkward moments of my life.
Thank goodness my FI always stands up for me and isn't super close with his family..it would be an even bigger struggle if that was the case.

Unfortunately its just the begining ladies...
At my SIL's wedding I was not included in ONE family photo. They even took a Picture of the 'McCarthy Girls', that included my MIL, 2 SIL's and MY DAUGHTER. That's right, they took my daughter out of my arms for a picture and did not include me in it. Luckily they live in Oklahoma. Yesterday was my first mother's day and I called her and left a message on her machine. No call back, not even to wish the mother of her grand daugher a Happy Mother's day. For me, it keeps getting worse...

I'm so glad I'm not alone!!

I hope MIL's just don't realize what they're doing .... but mine is just a vindictive b!tch ... she knows EXACTLY what she's doing!!!

My FMIL isn't horrible, but I wouldn't put it past her to be lurking on this site, reading my posts!!!

(Hiya Momma M!!!! )

I really do not have a personal bone to pick with my FMIL. I think the issue at hand is not me, but the loss of her son as her work-horse. She will just have to depend on her daughters a little more now. When a man marries a woman, his wife (and future children) are his new #1 priority. I will never purposely drive a wedge between FH and FMIL, but I see the potential for us not seeing eye-to-eye on a lot of things. We are bother very strong-willed and opinionated women - a dangerous thing.

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Posted by Shorty McBride


My FMIL isn't horrible, but I wouldn't put it past her to be lurking on this site, reading my posts!!!

(Hiya Momma M!!!! )

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You Ladies are awesome!

Thanks for sharing. We definately have a club going.

I would like to welcome:

Capulet72
Jersee3380
smm2675
ckgmwedding
acre730
DayBeforeThanksgiving
CandiceM
Shorty McBride
Goldi1021

And I am sure there are plenty more coming! We have a huge burden to overcome! In my case its one thing if her and my FH were close, but they arent. She hasnt been a mother to him since the day he was born, and whats happening now is, she sees what he is getting with me. I am going to give him the life he deserves and she cant take it! ok, i need to calm down now.

I will not let her get between us, b/c thats what she wants. Remember ladies, we are better than her and her daughters! We can take the punches!

My mom always told me to kill them with kindness! and every knock is a boost!

Jealousy can make a person very very ugly. So be careful and stick up for yourselves! You are marrying him not HER!!!

Love you guys!
Steph!!

WOW after reading some of these stories... I am very lucky to have the FMIL that I do...

shes not perfect by far and I am sure i will have some story througbout planning (so far I only had that one about FBIL having GF in BP...THAT WAS A BIG FT NO)