So my brother lives in fl and will be coming home for my e-party, along with my niece and his wife. Fh wants to ask my brother to be in the bridal party since I'll be having his sil who Ive become quite close with. Now here's the problem I HATE my brothers wife it's a long long story so I won't get into it but she's a piece of garbage and shows my family no respect at all. My niece who is nine about to turn ten is her little mini me. She is so nasty to my mother and myself and my brother does nothing to stop it which is an even bigger issue. I'm fine with fh asking my brother to be in the wedding party and this may sound terrible but I don't particularly want my niece involved in our wedding and definitely not his wife. I was raised to never disrespect my grandparents aunts uncles whoever. Fh's newborn nefphew is going to be the RB so I sorta feel obligated to have my niece also my godchild as a jr bridesmaid or something. My mom says I shouldn't it sad that we have next to no relationship with her and every time they come up to visit its absolutely miserable. My brother may be on the verge of divorce he changes his mind every other day it seems like but if they were to divorce I know we'd never see that kid again. I don't want to upset my brother by not including her but at the same time he doesn't seem to care about how much the two of them upset us. HELP
2013Bride
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Re: Sticky situation
Honestly, I'd just stick with a ring bearer... and no flower girl/jr bridesmaid and say you already have too many girls to have your SIL be a bridesmaid. Your brother is your BROTHER, so it makes sense that he'd be in the wedding party....
Why have people in your wedding party that will make you miserable on your special day?
linda_art
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Re: Sticky situation
I think you should stick to your original feelings. All of the 2012 brides are saying how we shouldn't have asked ppl so soon. If they are a problem now, I PROMISE you they will only continue to be a problem. Youre gonna see that most ppl only care about themselves and will see ppls true colors. Please know that this is the truth. Good Luck!
jassy119
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Member since
Re: Sticky situation
Posted by 2013Bride
Honestly, I'd just stick with a ring bearer... and no flower girl/jr bridesmaid and say you already have too many girls to have your SIL be a bridesmaid. Your brother is your BROTHER, so it makes sense that he'd be in the wedding party....
Why have people in your wedding party that will make you miserable on your special day?
Exactly this!! Dont feel like u have to do anything u dont want to do.
bigislandbride82
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Member since
Re: Sticky situation
I'm trying to decide whether I should have my FH's sister-in-law and her daughter in the wedding. They live in North Carolina and I never met them. FH recently asked his brother to be in the wedding, so I'm not sure what to do either. I know this is a different situation, but all I can say is I'm sorry you're going through this. I agree with the other ladies though, go with your gut. If your SIL causes problems in general, she probably will cause even more during this process which should be a wonderful experience. Not a headache!
teacherteacher
Posted:
Member since
Re: Sticky situation
Posted by jassy119
Posted by 2013Bride
Honestly, I'd just stick with a ring bearer... and no flower girl/jr bridesmaid and say you already have too many girls to have your SIL be a bridesmaid. Your brother is your BROTHER, so it makes sense that he'd be in the wedding party....
Why have people in your wedding party that will make you miserable on your special day?
Exactly this!! Dont feel like u have to do anything u dont want to do.
i third this
Shanti12
Posted:
Member since
Re: Sticky situation
I agree, I wouldn't do it. The other girls on here are definitely making me see that you should't commit to anyone you are unsure of so soon because you really never know. You don't want them making you miserable on your wedding day, it isn't doing anyone any favors to have yourself be miserable that day
Soon2BMrsB2013
Posted:
Member since
Re: Sticky situation
Posted by teacherteacher
Posted by jassy119
Posted by 2013Bride
Honestly, I'd just stick with a ring bearer... and no flower girl/jr bridesmaid and say you already have too many girls to have your SIL be a bridesmaid. Your brother is your BROTHER, so it makes sense that he'd be in the wedding party....
Why have people in your wedding party that will make you miserable on your special day?
Exactly this!! Dont feel like u have to do anything u dont want to do.
i third this
Fourth this!!!!
torresm
Posted:
Member since
Re: Sticky situation
Posted by Soon2BMrsB2013
Posted by teacherteacher
Posted by jassy119
Posted by 2013Bride
Honestly, I'd just stick with a ring bearer... and no flower girl/jr bridesmaid and say you already have too many girls to have your SIL be a bridesmaid. Your brother is your BROTHER, so it makes sense that he'd be in the wedding party....
Why have people in your wedding party that will make you miserable on your special day?
Exactly this!! Dont feel like u have to do anything u dont want to do.
i third this
Fourth this!!!!
I fifth this!!!!!!!
Kristin31613
Posted:
Member since
Re: Sticky situation
Do what your heart says, although you don't necessarily HAVE to do it so soon. I have a similar sitch except I am NOT asking my brother or SIL, but will ask my niece to be a Jr Bridesmaid. Not sure how it will turn out but right now at least, I don't care. My brother is selfish and can't handle the attention on someone else. He doesn't speak to my FH so there is no way I could reasonably ask FH to ask him to be in his party. My SIL has caused the family a ton of grief through the years, didn't have me in theirs or ask me to be a godmother of either child. It is what it is. Personally I am kind of stalling in asking my party bc I am scared which stinks for all the supportive people I have in my life that WANT to celebrate and be part of everything. I hope everything works out for you!
mattandjess2013
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Member since
Re: Sticky situation
I agree with the rest of the girls. It's not worth you getting upset or stressed on your special day!
Eunified
Posted:
Member since
Re: Sticky situation
Posted by torresm
Posted by Soon2BMrsB2013
Posted by teacherteacher
Posted by jassy119
Posted by 2013Bride
Honestly, I'd just stick with a ring bearer... and no flower girl/jr bridesmaid and say you already have too many girls to have your SIL be a bridesmaid. Your brother is your BROTHER, so it makes sense that he'd be in the wedding party....
Why have people in your wedding party that will make you miserable on your special day?
Exactly this!! Dont feel like u have to do anything u dont want to do.
i third this
Fourth this!!!!
I fifth this!!!!!!!
I sixthhhhhh thissss!!!
AngieJusty
Posted:
Member since
Re: Sticky situation
I seventh that!
nyrvixen
Posted:
Member since
Re: Sticky situation
I eighth that
fdnybride163
Posted:
Member since
Re: Sticky situation
Ninth!
Ive also gotten to the point, just because your 'family' does not give you an open invitation to all events. half of my step dads side i dont even want. we never talk and i havent seen them in ten yrs. to me its not worth the drama.
I would rather deal w her complain about it after then worry about her making a scene the day of!
pixietina
Posted:
Member since
Re: Sticky situation
Posted by linda_art
I think you should stick to your original feelings. All of the 2012 brides are saying how we shouldn't have asked ppl so soon. If they are a problem now, I PROMISE you they will only continue to be a problem. Youre gonna see that most ppl only care about themselves and will see ppls true colors. Please know that this is the truth. Good Luck!
This is so true!! Oh the horror stories.
FutureMrsSweeney
Posted:
Member since
Re: Sticky situation
I tenth it!!
Your bridal party should be about who you are close to. You shouldn’t feel obligated to have your SIL and niece in the bridal party. And just think, if you don’t have a relationship with them I’m sure your SIL won’t be offended if you don’t ask her.
2013Bride
Posted:
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Re: Sticky situation
I love that I just got 'tenth'ed!!!!!! Score!!
KroertGS
Posted:
Member since
Re: Sticky situation
Eleventh! I definitely 100% would not ask her. And if you get closer to the day and feel that you want to ask her, you always can ask her! However, if you do ask her too soon and up regretting it, it's harder to fix that.
