story about my crappy birthday.

so i am starting to think that i might be going nuts soon, since all i seem to be having lately is drama in my life. My fiance left the country last week to go see his sick grandfather. So this saturday was my bday and one of my bridesmaids made plans with me for saturday night dinner to chear me up since i was alone and missing my fh (many of you know we had a fight last week too).

let me just say i have never had a more terrible night in my life. First we went to dinner at a place called sparks in manhattan. Dinner was ok, we had a nice time, i had two glasses of wine. (I am very much a lightweight in terms of drinking since i never go out anymore.) Then we went to a club called spirit. Since she paid for dinner i figured i would pay for the entrance fee. When we got in we found out it was gay night. I asked my friend if we could leave and go somewhere else but she did not want to, so we stayed and i figured i would make the best of it (i was just going to dance anyway i did not want to meet any guys.) As the night went on i had two more drinks and lost track of my friend. I looked around for her for a while and could not find her. Finally she found me and said she had been talking to her boyfriend on the phone, and she was so upset because he was across the street at a club called Quo with his friends. I told her we could go over there if she wanted to. She said no, it was my night and she did not want to see him, 'he can come over here if he wants to see me.' So the night goes on, and before i know it there is a group of guys (one of them my friend's bf) yelling at us and telling us it is time to leave. I was pretty drunk so i found the commotion kind of upsetting. After we went and got our coats, i remembered i had left my i.d. and my atm card with the bartender since we had a tab running. So i told my friend that i had to go back down to get it. She said ok so i went downstairs and was waiting for the bartender to print out my receipt and give me my id back. Before i knew it one of the guys was yelling at me to hurry up and saying that i was being so selfish and i should be thinking about my friend. I was so confused and started crying. Then we all left the club and my friend was walking with her bf so far ahead of me and i was stuck in the back with all those guys who were being mean. One of the guys pulled me aside, and said stop acting like this because my bm told everyone that i was on drugs and that is why her boyfriend had to come rescue her at the club. I flipped out and told them i would take a cab home and before i knew it i was in a cab (nobody tried to stop me) going home with no money. I still have not heard from my bridesmaid.

so needless to say i am writing her off as a friend for good. But it takes such a toll on me emotionally.