'Strangers' at Your Wedding

I am having a similar probem. I am thinking anyone in the bridal party if they arent married or engaged can bring a date. But my bridal party consists of my sisters, brothers, cousin and FBIL and FSIL. So FBIL/FSIL= married
my older brother= serious gf and my sisters= dont want to bring a date (THEY ARE YOUNG- 18 AND 20)

But I have some close friends who have been dating their bfs for awhile (and might even be engaged by the time I get married) but I know their bfs and want to invite them...how do I go about telling my cousins who are invited (mostly 18-25) they cant bring a date...??

Well most of the older ones who would have dates are boys and they have a new one every week...is it fair that I say no to them on dates and yes to my good friends..??

My mom said not fair, but I said FH and I are paying and we said fair

Well she may have a date by that time or a friend. I think that it is only right that she should be able to bring someone. Frankly, you are not going to know everyone who is there. There will be people who bring dates who you have never met before. They may be a stranger to you but not to that person.

I can't see not allowing her to bring someone

omg- if we invited everyone with a guest (meaning someone random who they're not dating within a few months of the wedding) Then we'd have like 400 people! We could never afford it this whole topic gives me a stomach ache. Personally, I would never expect to be invited with a guest if I were not seriously dating someone.
I'm only inviting guests who are serious relationships- meaning they're dating hot and heavy when the invites go out.
BUT- the bridal party is excluded from that, if they want to bring a guest, they'll be invited with a guest.

Ok well looks like most people are ok with the date thing. It just bugs me because FH and I are paying for EVERYTHINg, and since I don't have a job, we are on a REALLY tight budget and are only planning on inviting our CLOSEST friends and family. Thats why it bugs me more than it would if money wasn't much of a problem, or if we were already planning on having 200+ people..but we want to keep it to around 50 people, and so some people we are friends with, but not too close, aren't getting invited. And I can see if she was doing an amazing job at being BM, but she hasn't done ANYTHING. The only thing I asked her to do so far was to get her measurements taken so I can order her dress and that took over 2 months. I'm not making them get their hair or make-up done professionally, but if we have some money left I will offer to pay for it. My frineds and BP are spread out all over the world, so they don't have a Bachelorette party or shower or anything to throw for me.
This is why I just cannot justify her bringing a random person just to bring someone... and besides, she knows half of the people that are going to be there!

I ran into this with one of my BM. She is a good friend so I just explained to her that it is a lot of money and I would prefer that she didn't bring someone since there was no one special in her life, especially since she knew a lot of people at the wedding. Initially she was upset, but she ended up having a blast at the wedding linking up with old friends.

I did allow some of my guests to bring dates (even if I didn't know them) if they didn't really know anyone else at the wedding. I didn't want them to be uncomfortable.

If she is your BM, I assume you are good friends. Why not just level with her?

---

Posted by erdbeere

Ok well looks like most people are ok with the date thing. It just bugs me because FH and I are paying for EVERYTHINg, and since I don't have a job, we are on a REALLY tight budget and are only planning on inviting our CLOSEST friends and family. Thats why it bugs me more than it would if money wasn't much of a problem, or if we were already planning on having 200+ people..but we want to keep it to around 50 people, and so some people we are friends with, but not too close, aren't getting invited. And I can see if she was doing an amazing job at being BM, but she hasn't done ANYTHING. The only thing I asked her to do so far was to get her measurements taken so I can order her dress and that took over 2 months. I'm not making them get their hair or make-up done professionally, but if we have some money left I will offer to pay for it. My frineds and BP are spread out all over the world, so they don't have a Bachelorette party or shower or anything to throw for me.
This is why I just cannot justify her bringing a random person just to bring someone... and besides, she knows half of the people that are going to be there!

---

Well maybe talk to her then and say what you just said in here to us, well except the whole her not doing anything part haha...Maybe she'll understand...And if its about money well since its two of them then they might leave more money so might even out.

---

Posted by erdbeere

Ok well looks like most people are ok with the date thing. It just bugs me because FH and I are paying for EVERYTHINg, and since I don't have a job, we are on a REALLY tight budget and are only planning on inviting our CLOSEST friends and family. Thats why it bugs me more than it would if money wasn't much of a problem, or if we were already planning on having 200+ people..but we want to keep it to around 50 people, and so some people we are friends with, but not too close, aren't getting invited. And I can see if she was doing an amazing job at being BM, but she hasn't done ANYTHING. The only thing I asked her to do so far was to get her measurements taken so I can order her dress and that took over 2 months. I'm not making them get their hair or make-up done professionally, but if we have some money left I will offer to pay for it. My frineds and BP are spread out all over the world, so they don't have a Bachelorette party or shower or anything to throw for me.
This is why I just cannot justify her bringing a random person just to bring someone... and besides, she knows half of the people that are going to be there!

---

I think etiquette is overrated. Do what will make you happy - not what everyone else wants you to do or thinks is appropriate. It is your wedding, but more importantly, YOUR MONEY.

---

Posted by tricia3381

---

Posted by Espo22

Well i am inviting everyone with a guest so i know there will definitely be people there that i don't know...Even for e-party coming up there are people who rsvp'd with a guest that i dont know...Personally I am fine with it, but its by preference so whatever makes you happy.

---

i agree. IMO if ur going let someone bring a guest I don't think its right to tell them who they can/can't bring (within reason, meaning they cant bring an ex of urs or something like that). If ur worried about who their bringing then tell them they can't have one.

---

Dito!!

everyone who is out of high school is being invited with a guest...it's so hard to keep track of who has bf/gf's in my family that we just decided to do that....this way no one feels left out! it is tough on the budget though, we are hoping some of them dont bring anyone.