strip clubs... vent

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Posted by AmyMarie

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Posted by stephanief

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Posted by AmyMarie

I just have to say that when I told my FI that some guy was posting on a thread on LIW who is actually already married and has been for awhile..well let's just say he didn't think it was a female strip club you were going too.

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Ok..because you are so confused. We think it is rather funny that a 'guy' would be posting on a wedding site frequented by 99% girls
geez..you guys take the fun out of everything. I guess i am just used to guys being less 'into' this kind of thing...I like my men alittle less ..girly.

Amy

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Actually my FH came home 30 minutes ago and i told him all about it. He said the guys main problem was that he was on here to begin with!

Ha! I'd be so much more disturbed about my father, brother and fiance all being at a strip club together than anything else!!! That's too funny!

Let me rephrase - the thought of my father there, ewwwwwwwww!!!!!

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Posted by EGreene79

Let me rephrase - the thought of my father there, ewwwwwwwww!!!!!

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That is pretty funny.

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Posted by kittythestray

I think it was definitely disrespectful to say that just because a woman would prefer her man not go to a strip club where a woman will be grinding his crotch with her butt means that she also reads his e-mail. That's quite a stretch. This is 'Brides helping Brides, where you can vent about your wedding' ...and yes there are a lot of BIG issues in the world but this is a WEDDING website and this is a big issue to a WEDDING, so if you want to go somewhere that's addressing the problems with the war in Iraq, there's an appropriate yahoo! group for that... The girl who originally started the thread said her FH went and she understand that he went but was wondering why it's OK for it to be going on... She said 'I don't expect him to sit it out but I had some thoughts on the topic...' She never said 'I won't LET him go...' I also think it's quite funny that guys can LET or NOT LET their wives do things (like BE a stripper for example) but a wife can NEVER say that he can or can't do something because that means he's 'whipped' ... I also think it's funny when people correct other people's spelling. I can't spell. You'll have a BALL with my post.... The point is, it's a WEDDING website - this is where you talk about it. This is where a bride should be allowed to vent that a strip club upsets her. People can and should express their opinions, but it doesn't have to be hurtful or trivialize someone else's feelings.

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Very nicely said! Thanks!

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Posted by AmyMarie

I just have to say that when I told my FI that some guy was posting on a thread on LIW who is actually already married and has been for awhile..well let's just say he didn't think it was a female strip club you were going too.

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:lol Okay I jsut peed my pants!!!!

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Posted by stephanief

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Posted by Sunrise813

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Posted by stephanief

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Posted by aliwnec10

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Posted by DjPiLL

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Posted by aliwnec10

are you kidding me? are you seriously going to say that? Girls vent and talk about things on here all the time and i can't post 1 thing to vent about? I didn't realize you were the board police deciding what can be talked about.

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I'm not saying you can't post about it. But since your 'vent' is being posted on a public form... expect a public opinion.

And yeah I am a guy.... married to a woman that shares the same view that I have.

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Look buddy... i can take whatever you dish out! But not everyone on here can do the same, so maybe you should try being less of an a*s when posting your opinions! Just a suggestion!

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Girl, you need to take a chill pill. Maybe you should go, it may loosen you up a bit

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I think you are being very insensitive, hopefully when something is bothering you and you ask for opinions others don't make a joke out of your concerns

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I am not being insensitive. I think it is laughable to equate respect and love to going to a strip club. I am sorry, but that is how I feel. Like it or hate it.........

ETA :and like I said earlier, if it is that big of a deal, your FH should respect your wishes. I just don't want to be 'that girl'

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I agree that you can say whatever you want, but I think the way you are saying it is insensitive.

I go with FH and he goes alone, I dont care. To say it is disrespectful is an opinion and there is nothing wrong with that....but is it the strip club itself that is disrespectful or the girls who dance or is it the fact that men go to them? What part of it is disrespectful? Its not disrespectful to the girls there-THEY CHOOSE THEIR PROFESSION! I know plenty of dancers...I myself couldnt do it, more power to the girl who can-but they are all intelligent, smart, beautiful women paying for college...paying their mortgages while going to school.

It is a personal opinion, but I would not ask FH not to go just b/c I didnt want him to see some a$$-i go and most of the time I enjoy myself.

To each his own is what I think

DH just went to a bachelor party the other night at a strip club. He had dancers at his bachelor party and has planned many himself. It (strippers/clubs etc) becomes a problem at a bachelor party if a guy goes all the time as a SUBSTITUTE for his wife at home. I would tend to agree. He (we actually) may be a wee bit older than a bunch of grooms here. That being said, after asking him and a bunch of other guys in his age group there seems to be a general consensus that it is probably one of the biggest wastes of money. Much like gambling - you spend and spend and still come out a loser. This business is notorious, as much as casinos, for sucking (no pun intended) the life out of men through their pockets. The costs of drinks there are unreal. Huge money makers.

I myself have spent an evening at one of the more upscale 'gentlemen's clubs' with a friend of mine (who was a bouncer) and nothing is more fascinating than watching the men just TALKING to the girls thinking that the girls are actually into them. Ladies, they arent. They couldnt care less. To them, men are income. Go into the bathroom and hear them bad mouth the guy who just slipped them a phone number wrapped in a $20. Think about how Artie Bucco said it last night on the Sopranos sitting next to Tony at the BING - average, non-powerful looking men go into a club, pretty much stare, get a lap dance and then (for lack of a better way of saying it) BOOM done. You don't go home with the girls. you dont have a hot chick as a girlfriend. You just have a hmmm um well you know.

Thus concludes my rant. No major opinions. No fights. Nothing but love (and pasties!)

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Posted by JandJ1224

Funny that this should come up today. FH and I were just discussing this yesterday. I am really against the idea of FH having a stripper at his Bachelor party. He knows how I feel and will hopefully respect me. I am a little worried about one of his GM not respecting me and getting one anway. I just like to make the point that if it is ok for him to watch these strippers, would it be just as ok if I was a stripper?! I think not!

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Those are two COMPLETELY different situations...
as are respecting YOU as a person and respecting your FEELINGS on a particular subject.

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Posted by kismet8601

I go with FH and he goes alone, I dont care. To say it is disrespectful is an opinion and there is nothing wrong with that....but is it the strip club itself that is disrespectful or the girls who dance or is it the fact that men go to them? What part of it is disrespectful? Its not disrespectful to the girls there-THEY CHOOSE THEIR PROFESSION! I know plenty of dancers...I myself couldnt do it, more power to the girl who can-but they are all intelligent, smart, beautiful women paying for college...paying their mortgages while going to school.

It is a personal opinion, but I would not ask FH not to go just b/c I didnt want him to see some a$$-i go and most of the time I enjoy myself.

To each his own is what I think

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From my viewpoint, it isn't disrespectful if a man just GOES to strip clubs. It becomes disrespectful when a woman makes it a point to her FH/DH that it's a serious issue for her and he disregards her feelings, goes anyway, or lies and says he isn't going but goes anyhow. I think it can definitely be a huge wedding related issue! If you think about some of the things a lot of brides freak out about (which stamps to use for their for their envelopes, disagreements about seating arrangments, FH's watching football every Sunday, that their FMIL is wearing an ivory dress, etc) to me, FH having someone grinding naked on his lap seems like just a little bit of a bigger issue. Yet, I've seen more women lose their minds over what shoes they'll wear, what hairstyle to use, and whether or not to allow a child to come to their wedding. It doesn't make any sense.

A guy that FH went to college with went to a strip club for his bachelor party anyway, knowing his fiancee was strongly against it. She communicated to him her feelings about it, and he told her he wouldn't go, he'd just go out to bars and dinner with the guys. This person told FH and some other guys that he went to the strip club anyway and just didn't tell his wife. FH told me what he had said, and then called him a real piece of S***. (Prior to that, FH was thinking about inviting him and his wife to our wedding, in order to make our minimum). After he heard that, he said he didn't want him there. I agreed with FH that what he did to his wife was disrespectful and selfish, and it was even worse that he lied to her face about it.

A man doesn't HAVE to do that for his bachelor party. It's just as easy for him to do other things that are enjoyable to him (golf, gamble, drink, whatever) have a good time with his guys, and respect his FW's feelings all at the same time. For the men who have women who made clear that it's an issue to them and would do it anyway....all I can say is that such an inability to compromise speaks VOLUMES about that person's ability to be a good lifelong partner.

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Posted by Sunrise813

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Posted by stephanief

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Posted by Sunrise813

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Posted by stephanief

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Posted by aliwnec10

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Posted by DjPiLL

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Posted by aliwnec10

are you kidding me? are you seriously going to say that? Girls vent and talk about things on here all the time and i can't post 1 thing to vent about? I didn't realize you were the board police deciding what can be talked about.

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I'm not saying you can't post about it. But since your 'vent' is being posted on a public form... expect a public opinion.

And yeah I am a guy.... married to a woman that shares the same view that I have.

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Look buddy... i can take whatever you dish out! But not everyone on here can do the same, so maybe you should try being less of an a*s when posting your opinions! Just a suggestion!

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Girl, you need to take a chill pill. Maybe you should go, it may loosen you up a bit

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I think you are being very insensitive, hopefully when something is bothering you and you ask for opinions others don't make a joke out of your concerns

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I am not being insensitive. I think it is laughable to equate respect and love to going to a strip club. I am sorry, but that is how I feel. Like it or hate it.........

ETA :and like I said earlier, if it is that big of a deal, your FH should respect your wishes. I just don't want to be 'that girl'

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I agree that you can say whatever you want, but I think the way you are saying it is insensitive.

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Oy vey, can you say beating a dead horse?

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Posted by stephanief

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Posted by Sunrise813

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Posted by stephanief

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Posted by Sunrise813

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Posted by stephanief

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Posted by aliwnec10

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Posted by DjPiLL

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Posted by aliwnec10

are you kidding me? are you seriously going to say that? Girls vent and talk about things on here all the time and i can't post 1 thing to vent about? I didn't realize you were the board police deciding what can be talked about.

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I'm not saying you can't post about it. But since your 'vent' is being posted on a public form... expect a public opinion.

And yeah I am a guy.... married to a woman that shares the same view that I have.

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Look buddy... i can take whatever you dish out! But not everyone on here can do the same, so maybe you should try being less of an a*s when posting your opinions! Just a suggestion!

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Girl, you need to take a chill pill. Maybe you should go, it may loosen you up a bit

---

I think you are being very insensitive, hopefully when something is bothering you and you ask for opinions others don't make a joke out of your concerns

---

I am not being insensitive. I think it is laughable to equate respect and love to going to a strip club. I am sorry, but that is how I feel. Like it or hate it.........

ETA :and like I said earlier, if it is that big of a deal, your FH should respect your wishes. I just don't want to be 'that girl'

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I agree that you can say whatever you want, but I think the way you are saying it is insensitive.

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Oy vey, can you say beating a dead horse?

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Yes you are

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Posted by DjPiLL

So what is your FH going to do when his buddy sends him an email of some naked woman... or maybe a link to a video. Do you HONESTLY think he isn't going to open it? LOL What if he opens it without knowing and BAMM... there are titties there in the email. Time to end the marriage?

LOL... oh wait let me guess... in this case you are also one of those girls that has access to his email as well so it wouldn't be an issue.

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OK, let's be realistic here.. I assumed everyone would know that I was talking about seeing a woman naked in person. And no, I am not so insecure that I check his e-mail.

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Posted by BHW

I'm not a fan of strip clubs, but I'm not going to tell DH he can't go to a bachelor party that involves strip clubs. I wouldn't want him telling me what to do, so why should I try to control him? I trust him. I would never risk ruining our relationship over something like this.

I'm curious. For those who won't 'let' their FI/DH go to strip clubs, how do you feel about them looking at porn? Is that any different? What about watching movies with naked women in them? Where do you draw the line? What makes one ok and not the other?

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My objection is him taking initiative to go to these strip clubs. If we walk on a nude beach or see skinmax or a woman is naked in a movie we are watching, I don't care.

I don't consider myself one to 'let' or not 'let' my fiance do something. I just told him early on, if you don't have strip clubs out of your system, don't continue to date me lol. Fortunately, he doesn't like them, doesn't go to them and we're getting married in 5 days!

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Posted by Sunrise813

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Posted by stephanief

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Posted by Sunrise813

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Posted by stephanief

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Posted by Sunrise813

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Posted by stephanief

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Posted by aliwnec10

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Posted by DjPiLL

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Posted by aliwnec10

are you kidding me? are you seriously going to say that? Girls vent and talk about things on here all the time and i can't post 1 thing to vent about? I didn't realize you were the board police deciding what can be talked about.

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I'm not saying you can't post about it. But since your 'vent' is being posted on a public form... expect a public opinion.

And yeah I am a guy.... married to a woman that shares the same view that I have.

---

Look buddy... i can take whatever you dish out! But not everyone on here can do the same, so maybe you should try being less of an a*s when posting your opinions! Just a suggestion!

---

Girl, you need to take a chill pill. Maybe you should go, it may loosen you up a bit

---

I think you are being very insensitive, hopefully when something is bothering you and you ask for opinions others don't make a joke out of your concerns

---

I am not being insensitive. I think it is laughable to equate respect and love to going to a strip club. I am sorry, but that is how I feel. Like it or hate it.........

ETA :and like I said earlier, if it is that big of a deal, your FH should respect your wishes. I just don't want to be 'that girl'

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I agree that you can say whatever you want, but I think the way you are saying it is insensitive.

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Oy vey, can you say beating a dead horse?

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Yes you are

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Posted by MrsWmson2be

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Posted by kismet8601

I go with FH and he goes alone, I dont care. To say it is disrespectful is an opinion and there is nothing wrong with that....but is it the strip club itself that is disrespectful or the girls who dance or is it the fact that men go to them? What part of it is disrespectful? Its not disrespectful to the girls there-THEY CHOOSE THEIR PROFESSION! I know plenty of dancers...I myself couldnt do it, more power to the girl who can-but they are all intelligent, smart, beautiful women paying for college...paying their mortgages while going to school.

It is a personal opinion, but I would not ask FH not to go just b/c I didnt want him to see some a$$-i go and most of the time I enjoy myself.

To each his own is what I think

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From my viewpoint, it isn't disrespectful if a man just GOES to strip clubs. It becomes disrespectful when a woman makes it a point to her FH/DH that it's a serious issue for her and he disregards her feelings, goes anyway, or lies and says he isn't going but goes anyhow. I think it can definitely be a huge wedding related issue! If you think about some of the things a lot of brides freak out about (which stamps to use for their for their envelopes, disagreements about seating arrangments, FH's watching football every Sunday, that their FMIL is wearing an ivory dress, etc) to me, FH having someone grinding naked on his lap seems like just a little bit of a bigger issue. Yet, I've seen more women lose their minds over what shoes they'll wear, what hairstyle to use, and whether or not to allow a child to come to their wedding. It doesn't make any sense.

A guy that FH went to college with went to a strip club for his bachelor party anyway, knowing his fiancee was strongly against it. She communicated to him her feelings about it, and he told her he wouldn't go, he'd just go out to bars and dinner with the guys. This person told FH and some other guys that he went to the strip club anyway and just didn't tell his wife. FH told me what he had said, and then called him a real piece of S***. (Prior to that, FH was thinking about inviting him and his wife to our wedding, in order to make our minimum). After he heard that, he said he didn't want him there. I agreed with FH that what he did to his wife was disrespectful and selfish, and it was even worse that he lied to her face about it.

A man doesn't HAVE to do that for his bachelor party. It's just as easy for him to do other things that are enjoyable to him (golf, gamble, drink, whatever) have a good time with his guys, and respect his FW's feelings all at the same time. For the men who have women who made clear that it's an issue to them and would do it anyway....all I can say is that such an inability to compromise speaks VOLUMES about that person's ability to be a good lifelong partner.

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AGreed- I was a little confused as to what was disrespectful about going to strip club. As far as ignoring someones (FW) feelings about it thats not fair nor is it right. That I can say is not OK