Sure to stir some controversy-Who still believes in spanking their children. NOT Beating them, but an occassional tap on the coolie

I believe in spanking 10000000%, when a parent spanks a child w/o malice I do not think its abuse. My mother spanked me 2x in my life and I never let a 3rd happen, she spoke and I walked right. I see my GF spanking her daughter with her hand on her behind and I think its quite fine.

If she was beating her daily and giving her these bad bruises I think there is a proble.m. Word alone don't get thru to some of these hard headed kids. This is not something I would argue with anyone, this is how I feel about this, to each his own.

ETA my mother spanked me and I never felt any less loved. She cared enough to spank, I think too many parents let kids get away with murder and try to be their 'buddies'

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Posted by shamma

I believe in spanking 10000000%, when a parent spanks a child w/o malice I do not think its abuse. My mother spanked me 2x in my life and I never let a 3rd happen, she spoke and I walked right.

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same here, my dad spanked me ONCE as a child and I feared him after, but respected and loved him beyond words! After that when he spoke, i listened!

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Posted by kptoys

Children are products of their environment. If they are loved and paid attention to at home, not just blown off like the family hamster, then they have a much better chance of not winding up like the 13 year olds that are getting into drugs, alcohol, etc.

Its completly up to the parents to raise respectful, law abiding children. It is not the schools fault or TV's fault. Its the parents. Its the parents that don't care that their kids are out running wild at 12 at midnight and the parents that dont keep on their kids about schoolwork who need to step back and realize exactly what they are doing to their childrens futures and the future of the US.

Now, I was not hit as a child. My mother and father both agreed that spanking was not what I should be taught. Yes, I know some think back to their childhood and say I was hit and I turned out fine and I will spank my kids... if you werent hit as a child would you still feel this way or would you believe there were alternatives to teaching hitting when someone does wrong?

I know abusing hitting and spanking are two different things but its still striking another.

Side note: Please don't take offense to this just thinking outwardly... were the majority of people who abused their wives/husbands hit as children?

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I really couldn't agree more.

My mother witnessed her mother (my g/mother) being abused by her father (my g/father) - to the point of hospitalization. We're not clear on whether my g/father hitmy mother as well...but my mother did go on to hit my sister and me. I suppose it was learned behavior. My mother never resolved her childhood issues - instead she became the person she grew up hating. Sad, really.

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Posted by Jordan

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Posted by kptoys

Children are products of their environment. If they are loved and paid attention to at home, not just blown off like the family hamster, then they have a much better chance of not winding up like the 13 year olds that are getting into drugs, alcohol, etc.

Its completly up to the parents to raise respectful, law abiding children. It is not the schools fault or TV's fault. Its the parents. Its the parents that don't care that their kids are out running wild at 12 at midnight and the parents that dont keep on their kids about schoolwork who need to step back and realize exactly what they are doing to their childrens futures and the future of the US.

Now, I was not hit as a child. My mother and father both agreed that spanking was not what I should be taught. Yes, I know some think back to their childhood and say I was hit and I turned out fine and I will spank my kids... if you werent hit as a child would you still feel this way or would you believe there were alternatives to teaching hitting when someone does wrong?

I know abusing hitting and spanking are two different things but its still striking another.

Side note: Please don't take offense to this just thinking outwardly... were the majority of people who abused their wives/husbands hit as children?

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I really couldn't agree more.

My mother witnessed her mother (my g/mother) being abused by her father (my g/father) - to the point of hospitalization. We're not clear on whether my g/father hitmy mother as well...but my mother did go on to hit my sister and me. I suppose it was learned behavior. My mother never resolved her childhood issues - instead she became the person she grew up hating. Sad, really.

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Sorry i just can't agree...There is a HUGE difference between abuse and a spanking!!!!

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Posted by NYCHICK

Just to add a quick note on fear. We all experience fear, in some way. It is not the fear that will have your child beside himself. You should up to work on time because you 'fear being reprimanded or fired', you do assignment because you 'fear' getting a failing grade, you pay your taxes because because you 'fear and Irs audit'. I think the fear you all are talking about is abusive fear and their needs to be a distinction between a spanking and abuse.

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I guess I will quote myself, seeing that people missed my point the first time around...........abuse = bad.........spanking =good

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Posted by kptoys

I guess its COMPLETLY MO... I dont believe in ANY form of hitting for any reason. I know its tempting for a smack on the but but I cant bring myself to hit (spank) my child.

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Just exactly how do you plan to discipline your child? And i am not talking about when he says a curse word...I mean when has done something really stupid...Because it happens ...lets face it, even the best of the best, we all have done something stupid back when we were kids.

I understand the difference between spanking and abuse. Like someone said before, spanking is the easy way out. You don't have to think or reason or understand in order to spank - you're just reacting.

I *personally* don't agree with that detached way of disciplining children.

I think if you show respect to a child, you will get respect. I think children who wipe crap on walls so NOT come from 'good homes' - I'm sorry, but a child who knows respect from a good home just does NOT smear crap on a wall.

I think children who are spanked do not understand the difference between the agressions involved with spanking and abuse. I don't think they understand the lines and will go on to lash out at others - whether it be their siblings or fellow students.

Again, JMO.

Why does doing something stupid garner a spank across the butt? Is there a connection between the brain and the butt that will suddenly shed light on the child? Reveal the not so stupid way of doing something?

I think there are more affective ways of disciplining a child so that they grow up with respect and not fear.

I know it sounds like I live in a dream world but my daughter KNOWS when I am upset with her by the tone of my voice and by my facial expressions. She knows when to knock what she is doing off. If she is reaching for something she shouldnt have I say her name (in the tone she knows) and she stops immediately. Im sure there will be time outs and no TV and things along those lines.

Should my child does something SO wrong that I would want to hit her? Yes, Im sure that day will come when she doesn't listen to me but my hand will never strike her. There is always an alternative.

I've begun to teach her, in the 20 months that shes been alive, what I will tolerate and what I won't. Shes a fast learner... and I have that parental control without so much as a spanking.

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Posted by Jordan

Why does doing something stupid garner a spank across the butt? Is there a connection between the brain and the butt that will suddenly shed light on the child? Reveal the not so stupid way of doing something?

I think there are more affective ways of disciplining a child so that they grow up with respect and not fear.

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Well said!

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Posted by Jordan

I understand the difference between spanking and abuse. Like someone said before, spanking is the easy way out. You don't have to think or reason or understand in order to spank - you're just reacting.

I *personally* don't agree with that detached way of disciplining children.

I think if you show respect to a child, you will get respect. I think children who wipe crap on walls so NOT come from 'good homes' - I'm sorry, but a child who knows respect from a good home just does NOT smear crap on a wall.

I think children who are spanked do not understand the difference between the agressions involved with spanking and abuse. I don't think they understand the lines and will go on to lash out at others - whether it be their siblings or fellow students.

Again, JMO.

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I understand your opinion...truly...I am not trying to sound rude...
I just think that i knew that when i was getting spanked ...I knew i did something wrong. Of course children don't know the difference (abuse v. spanking)...as children...But as adults i, along with a majority of us...understand we are not being abused nor are be abusive by spanking...And on the contrary i think that you think and reason,,,when you are spanking. It doesn't have to be an immediate reaction...nor does it have to stand alone. I was never spanked without being talked to or explained why i was being spanked...

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Posted by kptoys

I know it sounds like I live in a dream world but my daughter KNOWS when I am upset with her by the tone of my voice and by my facial expressions. She knows when to knock what she is doing off. If she is reaching for something she shouldnt have I say her name (in the tone she knows) and she stops immediately. Im sure there will be time outs and no TV and things along those lines.

Should my child does something SO wrong that I would want to hit her? Yes, Im sure that day will come when she doesn't listen to me but my hand will never strike her. There is always an alternative.

I've begun to teach her, in the 20 months that shes been alive, what I will tolerate and what I won't. Shes a fast learner... and I have that parental control without so much as a spanking.

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But what is that alternative that you plan to use???
Anything ...including the time outs and the no tv's, taken to an extreme can be abusive...
Just like hitting...You let a jkid stay in 'time out' for tooooo long . Well that is abuse too

you can't just associate hitting with physical abuse..
Physical abuse is hitting at an extreme...and this is not what anyone here is talking about when they refer to spanking...
just like you can't associate time outs with neglect!. that to is an extreme

Maybe a time out is sitting on a chair and not playing with toys. Im not going to stick her out in the snow without a jacket tied to a tree...
BTW - no tv these days can be taken as saving my child... with all the trash on TV now... Forever Eden, CRAP

i think its crazy the way kids have come from when we use to be their age..
now 7 year olds have cell phones, hundreds of dollars of video games...less and less kids say please and thank you, less and less say trick or treat at halloween.... sure some kids arent like that, but its definately changed alot, less politeness and more material possessions...

i could see how some parents would occasionally want to slap their kid..

fh growing up use to have a time out chair facing the wall... they would set an egg timer with the time until he could get out, and he would then set off the timer alot earlier

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Posted by butterfly20

i think its crazy the way kids have come from when we use to be their age..
now 7 year olds have cell phones, hundreds of dollars of video games...less and less kids say please and thank you, less and less say trick or treat at halloween.... sure some kids arent like that, but its definately changed alot, less politeness and more material possessions...

i could see how some parents would occasionally want to slap their kid..

fh growing up use to have a time out chair facing the wall... they would set an egg timer with the time until he could get out, and he would then set off the timer alot earlier

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I remember being on th ebus at Xmas time and two women were speaking and I couldn't help but over hear them and one was talking about her bosses' 11 yo daughter. Her Xmas list included -- 1.) Cell phone 2.) Palm Pilot 3.)Digital camera 4. Clothes from a specific store/designer. LOL

I can understand the clothes.. but the rest.. I mean come on.. be a kid.. at 11, I wanted the Darth Vader Tie Fighter. LOL