Sure to stir some controversy-Who still believes in spanking their children. NOT Beating them, but an occassional tap on the coolie

Original post by wacky

Mar 01, 2004 02:36 PM

Just curious. Im going to say me. I cant stand when people try to rationalize with a 2 year old kid..

JENNCHRIS Posted: Mar 02, 2004 01:48 PM

Re: Sure to stir some controversy-Who still believes in spanking their children. NOT Beating them, but an occassional tap on the coolie

So what are the alternative you plan on using with your child when he needs to

My son has needed to be disciplined, and for me time-outs work perfectly. When Jordan does something he's not supposed to he is removed from the situation and placed in a seat without distractions. He sits for a little while until he calms down and then I go talk to him. I explain why he is in time out and why he cannot do what he did.

For you that think you cannot rationalize or talk to your child then you are discounting their intelligence, he understands everything!

Jordan knows that I love him and I would not hurt him, he's not afraid of me, but he does listen when I or his father says something.

Kriss2c Posted: Mar 02, 2004 02:09 PM

Re: Sure to stir some controversy-Who still believes in spanking their children. NOT Beating them, but an occassional tap on the coolie

I was raised with the 'if you step out of line, you will be yelled at, hit, or otherwise punished.' I remember one time when my mother broke a wooden spoon across my bottom... yes I remember the spanking, but not my infraction.... but I do not classify my parents as being abusive, no way.

There are plenty of examples of the 'No hit' parenting policy in my neighborhood and I have no qualms about informing you that if NY was not a capital punishment state, I would run over quite a few of them. One example comes right to mind, when an overly curious neighbor asked about the ambulance that was in front of my house the night before and I informed him my dying father's health needed critical attention, his son at a lovely age of 7 replied, 'yeah, is he dead yet?' My neighbor, his father, did nothing and it was all I could do to keep from hitting the child and the father.

NYCHICK Posted: Mar 02, 2004 02:14 PM

Re: Sure to stir some controversy-Who still believes in spanking their children. NOT Beating them, but an occassional tap on the coolie

my question is what happens when the time outs don't work and you have exhausted all the 'martha stewart' methods???

ps - the martha stewart comment was said so I could convey the sort of all gentle and loving maternal type, not as an insult. the therapist approach if you will.

steph4777 Posted: Mar 02, 2004 02:22 PM

Re: Sure to stir some controversy-Who still believes in spanking their children. NOT Beating them, but an occassional tap on the coolie

Posted by Kriss2c

There are plenty of examples of the 'No hit' parenting policy in my neighborhood and I have no qualms about informing you that if NY was not a capital punishment state, I would run over quite a few of them. One example comes right to mind, when an overly curious neighbor asked about the ambulance that was in front of my house the night before and I informed him my dying father's health needed critical attention, his son at a lovely age of 7 replied, 'yeah, is he dead yet?' My neighbor, his father, did nothing and it was all I could do to keep from hitting the child and the father.

IMO, I don't know that that situation would warrant a spanking. Yes, the child was insensitive and rude, but he deserved a serious conversation about why it was wrong to say that. He would also be expected to apologize. Now if he acted up during the conversation and refused to apologize even after he was ordered to do so then I would probably ground or take something away. Now breaking the rule after being grounded deserves a spanking

steph4777 Posted: Mar 02, 2004 02:26 PM

Re: Sure to stir some controversy-Who still believes in spanking their children. NOT Beating them, but an occassional tap on the coolie

double post

Kriss2c Posted: Mar 02, 2004 02:27 PM

Re: Sure to stir some controversy-Who still believes in spanking their children. NOT Beating them, but an occassional tap on the coolie

At the age 7, I knew better than that.....and I never considered myself to be an exceptional child. This is the same family, the stole chrome valve stem covers off my FH and friend's truck, shaving creamed mine and my other neighbors vehicles, are up until at least midnight and more so are roaming around the neighborhood at that time.

Kate Posted: Mar 02, 2004 02:29 PM

Re: Sure to stir some controversy-Who still believes in spanking their children. NOT Beating them, but an occassional tap on the coolie

Posted by Kriss2c

I was raised with the 'if you step out of line, you will be yelled at, hit, or otherwise punished.' I remember one time when my mother broke a wooden spoon across my bottom... yes I remember the spanking, but not my infraction.... but I do not classify my parents as being abusive, no way.

This sounds most like our house growing up, except my mother (who was the bad guy, dad always the good guy) would never break any of her own stuff to teach us a lesson!

I think we both learned lessons from this, my greatest day was the last time she raised her hand (of course, forget what I did) for the last time because I was old enough, big enough, and bold enough to GRAB it! The look on HER face was precious. No more spankings from then on!

I seriously don't plan to hit my child, but there comes a time when ... please honey, Please Honey, PLEASE HONEY DON'T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
just doesn't get their attention and a smack on the rear will.

Kriss2c Posted: Mar 02, 2004 02:35 PM

Re: Sure to stir some controversy-Who still believes in spanking their children. NOT Beating them, but an occassional tap on the coolie

Posted by Kate

I seriously don't plan to hit my child, but there comes a time when ... please honey, Please Honey, PLEASE HONEY DON'T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
just doesn't get their attention and a smack on the rear will.

Exactly!

JENNCHRIS Posted: Mar 02, 2004 02:57 PM

Re: Sure to stir some controversy-Who still believes in spanking their children. NOT Beating them, but an occassional tap on the coolie

my question is what happens when the time outs don't work and you have exhausted all the 'martha stewart' methods???

With my son, and later with our other children spanking is just not an option, period.

JENNCHRIS Posted: Mar 02, 2004 03:00 PM

Re: Sure to stir some controversy-Who still believes in spanking their children. NOT Beating them, but an occassional tap on the coolie

... please honey, Please Honey, PLEASE HONEY DON'T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I don't think you all understand that it's not like I let my son get away with anything and I don't just let things go, I will remove my son from the situation and I do talk to him. Spanking is not the best way to get their attention, there are other ways!

shamma Posted: Mar 02, 2004 03:06 PM

Re: Sure to stir some controversy-Who still believes in spanking their children. NOT Beating them, but an occassional tap on the coolie

I think it comes down to what works best for you. Some believe in spanking and some don't. All kids do not have the same temperment, some yield to talking and some yield to a good spanking. Whatever works for you. DO IT. This will always be a topic where we agree to disagree.

JENNCHRIS Posted: Mar 02, 2004 03:11 PM

Re: Sure to stir some controversy-Who still believes in spanking their children. NOT Beating them, but an occassional tap on the coolie

This will always be a topic where we agree to disagree.

definately!

HappyEverAfter Posted: Mar 02, 2004 03:14 PM

Re: Sure to stir some controversy-Who still believes in spanking their children. NOT Beating them, but an occassional tap on the coolie

My GF is amazing w. her daughter- when she steps out of line, and this is from when she was a baby-her mom goes right to her level, very close to her face, and softly (but sternly) reprimands her. I swear, when my friend does this, it is so quiet that none of us knows what she says-but her daughter knows that the sh!t is about to hit the fan and stops whatever bad behavior she was doing. Its like majic, I have to ask her what she says
In that case, I think its the childs total knowledge that mom is boss and doesnt put up w. any crap. She knows not to push the line. I dont know if my friend has ever spanked her-but she knows that mom means business. I think thats how I want to be with my kids. I wont take spanking off the table, but I also know hitting doesnt earn respect, thats something you instill in the child from the time they are very small.
My parents didnt 'spare the rod' but thats not why I respected them. I respected them b/c they were my parents! I didnt even know I had a choice in the matter...

NYCHICK Posted: Mar 02, 2004 03:21 PM

Re: Sure to stir some controversy-Who still believes in spanking their children. NOT Beating them, but an occassional tap on the coolie

lol........my mother did that kinid of thing too. we would call it 'the eye', I swear it was like she was saying volumes with that eye........lol

wacky Posted: Mar 02, 2004 03:23 PM

Re: Sure to stir some controversy-Who still believes in spanking their children. NOT Beating them, but an occassional tap on the coolie

Ha we got the eye too, ya just knew in my family. My mom was never the type that said wait for your father. Moma took care of us before

MarcellaBella Posted: Mar 02, 2004 03:26 PM

Re: Sure to stir some controversy-Who still believes in spanking their children. NOT Beating them, but an occassional tap on the coolie

BTW, to me TIME-OUTS are garbage.. A child should be told something once and only once.. that's it.. if it continues, you bet your a$$, I will tap him in his/her tush...time-outs imo, give the child time to refuel

I wasn't ever beaten badly, but I was spanked and thank god for that!! I deserved the spankings I did get b/c I was fresh!

I see these kids today kicking, screaming and crying.. that is just a no-no in my book.. none of that crap will go on.. or kids who talk back to their parents..

no way..

I don't believe that spanking will teach your kids to hit others.. it's to discipline child for their actions.. plain and simple.. to teach right and wrong.. if you're child is going to go on and hit other children b/c of the spanking he got from you, then something is not right there and you need to reevaluate your move..

and please don't preach about the whole wait until you have kids of your own....

shamma Posted: Mar 02, 2004 03:30 PM

Re: Sure to stir some controversy-Who still believes in spanking their children. NOT Beating them, but an occassional tap on the coolie

Posted by MarcellaBella

and please don't preach about the whole wait until you have kids of your own....

See the part I hate is people who say, you don't have kids so you don't know. I know what I believe and I know how I was raised.

MarcellaBella Posted: Mar 02, 2004 03:31 PM

Re: Sure to stir some controversy-Who still believes in spanking their children. NOT Beating them, but an occassional tap on the coolie

Posted by shamma

Posted by MarcellaBella

and please don't preach about the whole wait until you have kids of your own....

See the part I hate is people who say, you don't have kids so you don't know. I know what I believe and I know how I was raised.

AMEN Shamma.. that's exactly how I feel..

MarcellaBella Posted: Mar 02, 2004 03:32 PM

Re: Sure to stir some controversy-Who still believes in spanking their children. NOT Beating them, but an occassional tap on the coolie

sorry double post/.

NYCHICK Posted: Mar 02, 2004 03:36 PM

Re: Sure to stir some controversy-Who still believes in spanking their children. NOT Beating them, but an occassional tap on the coolie

Well all I know is my aunt is doing this martha stewart mother thing and it sure as hell ain't working..........that child of hers is dreadful

Also that is the other problem. Why do people make these 'children' out to be adults. They are not going to think that hitting people is fine if you as their mother hit them........unless you walk around hitting people all the time. To me it is quite different. I have never hit anyone in my life and I was beaten as a child