Thanks to Fullersbride.. we need a DEAR ??? thread.. i know there

Dear Mom,

Thanks for the additional guest list that you have provided. I was really hoping to find an additional 100 strangers to invite to my wedding! Somehow, you found them! I'm sure your hair dresser will really appreciate dinner at 100+ per plate!

Dear FMIL,

Thanks for finding that beautiful dress that you love so much! It's not the color I was hoping for - but hey - I can change my wedding colors! What's important is that YOU are wearing the exact color that you want to wear!

Dear FH,

Thanks so much for insisting to use the gun while registering!. It only took an hour before you made me leave the store! AND I was able to delete all of the ridiculous crap you put on there on my subsequent visits to the store!

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Posted by EastEndBride

Dear God-

In my next lifetime I would really appreciate coming back as a Groom!

-The Bride

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Dear FMIL,

There will be no costume changes during the reception..lol. No..really there won't. Your dress is fine. It's not my fault you decided to wait 3 months before the wedding to buy someting.

Kisses,
Kim

Dear Mom:
Seriously, just relax, there is no way you should be more stressed about planning my bridal shower than I am about planning my wedding.

Dear FILs:
It is not that hard to make a list, in fact you've already made three, so this time, how about a list that we can actually send to the caligrapher so the 150 people you want to invite can actually be invited.

Dear MOH:
Kindly stop messing stuff up, so I feel like I have to covertly plan everything. I already work 70 hrs a week, I dont have time to follow up on things you plan, that is why I have you.

Dear Self:
The wedding is in three months, perhaps now would be a good timeto start going to the gym again, and really, the candy bowl is optional, it is not mandatory to eat a piece of candy everytime you leave your office.

Dear Boss:

I do not understand why you have to be soo rude when speaking to me or my co worker. You speak to us like we are morons and don't know what we are doing. When we attempt to do something on our own, it is wrong, when we wait for your guidance you ask us what we are waiting for. Please let us know what we want to do. We honestly cannot stand you and you make work a miserable experience.

Thanks for listening.

Sincerely,

Your sick to her stomach employee

Dear Fellow Gym Members (especially Mr. Drakkar),
There is absolutely no reason why you need to put on half a bottle of cologne/perfume before going to the gym. NO ONE wants to smell you throughout their entire workout! Since your olfactory system is probably destroyed by now, let me give you a little test: you are probably wearing too much 'scent' if people would rather use the twenty year-old treadmills in the corner rather than be on the newer ones right next to you!

Yours in sweat,
Erin

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Posted by bettybcafe

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Posted by FullersBride

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Posted by HamptonsBride

i have one...


Dear FH...

Thank you for offering to help me with the invitations. Your previous peformance at DIY tasks left me to only allow you to seal envelopes...after all how could you possibly mess that up, right? Your envelope sealing abilities were wonderful, until you stuck all of the overly wetted ones on top of each other so that they proceeded to stick to each other...rendering them useless as I had to peel them apart from each other destroying the mailing envelopes. Causing me to have to retype and reprint and seal 15 freakin invitations after already wasting my entire Saturday doing this crap! Then, you wonder why i am flipping out and so upset? Do you look at what you are doing???? or have you lost your ability to see things that are obvious in front of you? And then you ignore me all day because i got upset... even after i apologized for getting upset at you. Still love you...even though i just want to strangle you sometimes ;)

Your future wife,
me

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This one was great!

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that is fantastic

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Posted by chatxleau24

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Posted by EastEndBride

Dear God-

In my next lifetime I would really appreciate coming back as a Groom!

-The Bride

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i love it

Dear BM, i love and appreciate all of you for being a part of my special day, but must i remind you whose day is it, you selfish, self absorbed pre madonnas...oh and im sorry you dont have money to order your dress as of yet because you spend your money hanging out and going on trips that you just planned, i know its an inconvience but maybe you could stretch a down payment

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Posted by EastEndBride

Dear God-

In my next lifetime I would really appreciate coming back as a Groom!

-The Bride

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oh my god!!! i'm dying over here.

Dear FH
It's about time that you start thinking of asking your groomsmen if they want to be in your wedding party! I need to get your tuxes fitted!
Love
Me

Dear relatives who keep responding no,

First you say you can't wait to be there, not you respond no without even so much as an explanation or regret? You biotches are hurting my feelings. You all suck

Love,
Your pissed off cousin.


ETA:

Dear MIL,

Have you bought your self a dress yet? Are you going to buy your self something appropriate for a night wedding in NYC?! I fear you will show up in a gold jump suit from the 1970's or a funeral dress at this point. Our wedding is 26 days away! Please don't show up to our wedding looking crappy.

Your DIL

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Posted by HamptonsBride

couldn't help myself with another ;)

Dear God,

Thank you so much for FH. He is the most wonderful man in the world. But, forgive me when i question your ability to bundle a wonderful man with an equally wonderful and normal family that comes with him? Now I know you are almighty, all wonderful and all knowing, but somewhere along the lines you seemed to mess up a bit when it comes to inlaws. Getting a husband is like buying a new car...you want the sunroof, but unfortunately to get that you must buy all of these options you really don't want. God, perhaps in your infinite wisdom you could create families of all normal people and bundle them together with other like normal people, and keep the annoying pain in the butt ones all grouped together in one family as well. This would save us alot of trouble down the line in living long and happy lives without in-laws that will drive us nuts for the next 20 years or so. Now i know they say you marry the man, and not the family...but come on God, you know that one's not true. Thanks for listening!

P.S. If you could create world peace that would be great!

Love ya, me

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Amen to that!!!

Dear Me.. You were doin sooo good dieting and staying motivated .. I know the snow and cold weather had a lot to do with you not being able to walk outdoors everyday .. but who's fault is it that Cold Stone Creamery is a block from your house and you manage to to get there daily.. I guess they'll be playing Here Comes The Pig..

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Posted by charisma

Dear BM, i love and appreciate all of you for being a part of my special day, but must i rremind you whose day is it, you selfish, self absorbed pre madonnas...oh and im sorry you dont have money to order your dress as of yet because you spend you money hanging out and going on trips that you just planned, i know its an inconvience but maybe you could stretch a down payment

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I agree!

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Posted by brady37

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Posted by HamptonsBride

couldn't help myself with another ;)

Dear God,

Thank you so much for FH. He is the most wonderful man in the world. But, forgive me when i question your ability to bundle a wonderful man with an equally wonderful and normal family that comes with him? Now I know you are almighty, all wonderful and all knowing, but somewhere along the lines you seemed to mess up a bit when it comes to inlaws. Getting a husband is like buying a new car...you want the sunroof, but unfortunately to get that you must buy all of these options you really don't want. God, perhaps in your infinite wisdom you could create families of all normal people and bundle them together with other like normal people, and keep the annoying pain in the butt ones all grouped together in one family as well. This would save us alot of trouble down the line in living long and happy lives without in-laws that will drive us nuts for the next 20 years or so. Now i know they say you marry the man, and not the family...but come on God, you know that one's not true. Thanks for listening!

P.S. If you could create world peace that would be great!

Love ya, me

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Amen to that!!!

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Posted by miss nee

Dear Me.. You were doin sooo good dieting and staying motivated .. I know the snow and cold weather had a lot to do with you not being able to walk outdoors everyday .. but who's fault is it that Cold Stone Creamery is a block from your house and you manage to to get there daily.. I guess they'll be playing Here Comes The Pig..

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you are crazy

Dear FMIL,

When I ask for a list of 10 people you would like to invite it's not cute at all to send me back a list with 26 names on it. And 7 of those people have and guest written next to their names. I hate to be cliched but 'Beggars cannot be choosers'. Bad enough you cried broke when it came to your baby boy's wedding and then baought a new BMW. If you want to invite the whole world - show me the $$$$$!!!

Love,
Your darling daughter to be

Oooh I'm glad you guys are enjoying this thread so much!! Isn't it the best!!! Ok here goes my latest.

Dear FH,
I love how when we first started planning the wedding you were so eager and excited! I love how you said you were in this whole think 50:50. I love how I have had to plan this wedding 3 FREAKIN TIMES in the past 7 months beacuase of the incompetent a**H@lES out there that wanted to just disapear. I LOVE how I had to deal with moving the wedding location to ANOTHER FREAKIN STATE in the middle of my grandmother dying and how YOU DID ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to help me research. Actually, thanks you FH for really not having done anything for this wedding so far. SUre you can to meet the photographer and videographer after I had researched hundreds both in Long Island and CT. BUt Sweetie, I'm not sure if you noticed I pretty much picked them out, the meeting was to make sure they weren't crazy.

But my favorite part was how you called me last night while I was at work, sitting in the freakin ambulance in Hampton Bays freazin my A@@ off and you decide to ***** to me about hte bridemaids dresses.

WHO THE HELL ARE YOU??? Maybe if your A@@ did something for the wedding I would give two sh*ts what you thought, and then you called me BRIDEZILLA!!!

OH, NO.....YOU DID NOT!!!!!

Thanks to you, my partner had to chase me around the parking lot outside of Starbucks in Haptons Bays because I was screaming like a lunatic (yes I shouldn't have had the triple shot of espresso in my latte but I was tired) can I remind you it was like 9 degrees out???

Anyways, When and if you ever decide to make this wedding a 50:50 effort, I may consider your thoughts and opinions! But as of right now, DAMN STRAIGHT ITS MY DAY!!!

Its my party and I'll plan it how I want to!!!

Luv,
Your future wife

Ps, If you EVER call me a BRIDEZILLA again, we may have to forgo having children because I may just beat you so hard that your testicles may just fall off!!!




WHEW......vent over, I feel less homicidal now!!! Man Its AMAZING what PMS can do!!!