Good luck with this one Crisco. I know the feeling...I went thru many similar battles with my inlaws. I would be just as upset. I agree with you shamma and most others. This is you and your FI's special day and your money we are talking about. People should not make decisions without consulting with you first even the closest family members. Asking is one thing .. demanding or telling is another. You should be deciding if people can bring dates and what you find appropriate. I would tell your mom you understand that brother wants this but calmly express to her why he was not invited with a date (whether it be out of control guest list, money or just wanting close members).
I think it is up to you and your FI, if you want this extra guest at you wedding and if you will make this exception. Stand your ground (calmly though!).
Valenia
Posted:
Member since
Re: The Madness has Started!!
By the way Crisco, since I seem to be Mrs. Critical today, I just wanted to add that I think its absurd you were put in this position. It was very rude of her. Either way though, its been done, and my opinions have to do with how to handle what I acknowledge to have been an impolite request. She absolutely should have asked and not told you!
Becky
Posted:
Member since
Re: The Madness has Started!!
I would definitely let your step-mom know that you don't appreciate being TOLD who is coming to your wedding. My parents have asked that some of their friends (who I am not particularly clost with) be invited and they offered to pay. I am okay with it becuase they showed me enough respect to ask well in advance and becuase it isn't costing me any more money. Had I felt strongly about it, then I wouldn't invite those people.
The bottom line is you can decline her offer to pay and tell her that you don't feel it is appropriate. Possibly you and your FH decided on a cut off age for dates and since he invited his family accordingly, you must also do the same. They can't force this guest on you.
But if it is just the respect issue alone, then I would express my displeasure and let the girl come. That is just me, though. I hope it all works out.
