The Official 'You Can Kiss My @ss' Thread

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Posted by Mimacat

Dear coworkers,

Speak English. Its giving me a headache.

h

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ok i know i am quoting an old post but AMEN Im tired of hearing FRENCH AND SPANISH

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Posted by yelley77

Dear LI,

Your idea of affordable housing stinks...

kiss my @ss!!!

Love,
can't afford a $700,000 home

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I like this one!! Except I can't afford a $400,000 home- so I slightly edit yours.

Dear Father King,

You are making me want to act very un-catholic!

Thanks,
The girl who left you 50 messages

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Posted by futuremrsfab

Dear Father King,

You are making me want to act very un-catholic!

Thanks,
The girl who left you 50 messages

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dear wedding,

stop draining me of all my energy and money. you are causing unwanted added stress that makes me break out--and run to the bathroom after every meal.

you su ck b@lls!!!!!!!!!!

love,
someone who can't take almost 2 more months of this crap!

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Posted by KK Holiday

dear wedding,

stop draining me of all my energy and money. you are causing unwanted added stress that makes me break out--and run to the bathroom after every meal.

you su ck b@lls!!!!!!!!!!

love,
someone who can't take almost 2 more months of this crap!

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OMG I totally am and feel your pain!

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Posted by KK Holiday

dear wedding,

stop draining me of all my energy and money. you are causing unwanted added stress that makes me break out--and run to the bathroom after every meal.

you su ck b@lls!!!!!!!!!!

love,
someone who can't take almost 2 more months of this crap!

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20 RSVP's!!! YAY!

Dear Guests...

I know your talking sh*t about my wedding..this is my wedding not yours...I will do things my way...don't worry about my wedding go worry about your daughters wedding...


YOU CAN KISS MY FAT A$$ !!

Dear Yelly,

Kiss my A$$!

j/k..love ya

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Posted by ChristineAaron08

Dear Yelly,

Kiss my A$$!

j/k..love ya

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bend over.

Ohhh I missed this thread,

Dear invited wedding guests,

Thank you for not rsvp'ing to my wedding. Dont worry I can figure out if you're coming or not. No phone call is necessary.

Love,

Lisa

Stolen from Z 100



Dear Mr. Thatcher,

I have been a loyal user of your Always Maxi Pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the Leak GuardCore(tm) or Dri-Weave(tm) absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from 'the curse'? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my 'time of the month' is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly with knife skills. 'As Brand Manager in the Feminine-hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers' monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... which brings me to the reason for my letter.

Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: 'Have a Happy Period.' Are you f__king kidding me? Does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness is possible during a period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Kmart armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory. For the love of God, if you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put Down the Hammer' or 'Vehicular Manslaughter Is Wrong', or are you just picking on us?

Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bull s__t. And that's a promise I will keep. Always.

Best,

A former customer

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Posted by KKPK1004

Stolen from Z 100



Dear Mr. Thatcher,

I have been a loyal user of your Always Maxi Pads for over 20 years and I appreciate many of their features. Why, without the Leak GuardCore(tm) or Dri-Weave(tm) absorbency, I'd probably never go horseback riding or salsa dancing, and I'd certainly steer clear of running up and down the beach in tight, white shorts. But my favorite feature has to be your revolutionary Flexi-Wings. Kudos on being the only company smart enough to realize how crucial it is that maxi pads be aerodynamic. I can't tell you how safe and secure I feel each month knowing there's a little F-16 in my pants.

Have you ever had a period, Mr. Thatcher? Ever suffered from 'the curse'? I'm guessing you haven't. Well, my 'time of the month' is starting right now. As I type, I can already feel hormonal forces violently surging through my body. Just a few minutes from now, my body will adjust and I'll be transformed into what my husband likes to call 'an inbred hillbilly with knife skills. 'As Brand Manager in the Feminine-hygiene Division, you've no doubt seen quite a bit of research on what exactly happens during your customers' monthly visits from 'Aunt Flo'. Therefore, you must know about the bloating, puffiness, and cramping we endure, and about our intense mood swings, crying, and out-of-control behavior. You surely realize it's a tough time for most women. The point is, sir, you of all people must realize that America is just crawling with homicidal maniacs in Capri pants... which brings me to the reason for my letter.

Last month, while in the throes of cramping so painful I wanted to reach inside my body and yank out my uterus, I opened an Always maxi-pad, and there, printed on the adhesive backing, were these words: 'Have a Happy Period.' Are you f__king kidding me? Does any part of your tiny middle-manager brain really think happiness - actual smiling, laughing happiness is possible during a period? Did anything mentioned above sound the least bit pleasurable? Well, did it, James? FYI, unless you're some kind of sick S&M freak girl, there will never be anything 'happy' about a day in which you have to jack yourself up on Motrin and Kahlua and lock yourself in your house just so you don't march down to the local Kmart armed with a hunting rifle and a sketchy plan to end your life in a blaze of glory. For the love of God, if you just have to slap a moronic message on a maxi pad, wouldn't it make more sense to say something that's actually pertinent, like 'Put Down the Hammer' or 'Vehicular Manslaughter Is Wrong', or are you just picking on us?

Sir, please inform your Accounting Department that, effective immediately, there will be an $8 drop in monthly profits, for I have chosen to take my maxi-pad business elsewhere. And though I will certainly miss your Flex-Wings, I will not for one minute miss your brand of condescending bull s__t. And that's a promise I will keep. Always.

Best,

A former customer

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I heard this on the way to work the other day. VERY funny.

Dear Scale,

You can kiss my A$$!!! i'm not stepping on you again until after the wedding and you know what! i still look good! :

- Fat A$$!

to everyone who wants to tell me what to do for my wedding///
KISS MY A$$..i luv it lol

Dear Job Hunting...

you can totally my ARSE!! they are always saying there is a shortage of nurses.. yes BECAUSE YOU DONT HIRE ANY!!!!!!!!!!! HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO GET EXPERIENCE IF NO ONE WILL HIRE ME??????????? SO STUPID .. who needs a job anyway

Yours Truely,
poor new nurse with no job!

To the 38 People that Still haven't RSVPd,

KISS MY @SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You all have had PLENTY of time to figure out if you were coming or not.....
AND YOU'VE HAD A MAGNET ON YOUR REFRIGERATOR FOR OVER A YEAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I better have them by Saturday (5 days late)....or FH is going to call your sorry @sses!!!

Sincerely,
A normally calm human being!

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Posted by FutureMrsJ08

Dear Guests...

I know your talking sh*t about my wedding..this is my wedding not yours...I will do things my way...don't worry about my wedding go worry about your daughters wedding...


YOU CAN KISS MY FAT A$$ !!

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im with u in this one...i hate those kind of people ...

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Posted by Soon2BMrsD

Dear Job Hunting...

you can totally my ARSE!! they are always saying there is a shortage of nurses.. yes BECAUSE YOU DONT HIRE ANY!!!!!!!!!!! HOW DO YOU EXPECT ME TO GET EXPERIENCE IF NO ONE WILL HIRE ME??????????? SO STUPID .. who needs a job anyway

Yours Truely,
poor new nurse with no job!

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You just made me say 'awwwwww' out loud.