This is not going to be a popular post.... just to warn you...

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Posted by Maybride519

I personally don't think its Bridezilla if people who you are counting on are letting you down! A Bridezilla is someone who tells her BM's that they all have to wear matching underwear!!
If somone accepts the role, it can be disapointing to have someone back out of events that go along with the role. Not that the world has to stop for this bride, but...what goes around, comes around and a bride will never forget all of the wonderful things that are done for her during her special time. Just my opinion. Not judging anyone elses opinion on this.

I just wanted to add that I am speaking of the bridal party, not any ol' guest that is invited. I know they don't give two sh!@t's! Lol.

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I agree Janine...very well said!!!

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Posted by JeanineHubert

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Posted by Maybride519

I personally don't think its Bridezilla if people who you are counting on are letting you down! A Bridezilla is someone who tells her BM's that they all have to wear matching underwear!!
If somone accepts the role, it can be disapointing to have someone back out of events that go along with the role. Not that the world has to stop for this bride, but...what goes around, comes around and a bride will never forget all of the wonderful things that are done for her during her special time. Just my opinion. Not judging anyone elses opinion on this.

I just wanted to add that I am speaking of the bridal party, not any ol' guest that is invited. I know they don't give two sh!@t's! Lol.

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I agree Janine...very well said!!!

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Thanks Jeanine!

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Posted by Tria1110

I have been dating my FH for a long time and I was very excited to get engaged and to be getting married.

That said.... The world does not revolve around me and our wedding day.

I have been reading way too many posts lately about brides to be being pi@@ed at one person or another for having other things going on in their lives aside from their weddings. And who hasn't done what for them ...

Can you say BRIDEZILLA!

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i have been with my FH for almost 10 years and i can't wait to be his Mrs. i agree that brides tend to forget that no one will be as excited as them, but i don't think its fair to call them bridezillas. that's a word to describe women who bit ch and complain and want everything done their way. i don't think there's a single bride on this site that acts this way (or at least has shown that side while on this site).

when people close to me let me down with not being able to come to certain events or not being able to do certain things to help, i remind myself that this is MY wedding and not theirs. they have their own lives and their own problems and completely understand that. but there's nothing wrong with being sad or feeling let down. and these boards are here so that we have other brides (who are going thru what we're going thru) to talk to.

Ya know, you're right when you say the world doesn't revolve around you and your wedding (or for that matter any of us and our respective weddings), however, expecting (dare I say even demanding) common curtesy is not IMHO being a bridezilla. After all, how hard is it to RSVP? For anything? Whether it is the wedding itself, the bridal shower, or the bachelorette party? Let's face it, a simple yes I am attending or no I am not isn't too much to ask/demand of people. It is not fair for a BM or family member to say 'oh, you know I'm coming' instead of dropping the RSVP in the mail. Yes, we know they are coming (to the wedding) - but we sent an invite nevertheless didn't we??? Since we sent it, whoever received it should answer in the manner provided for a response!!!

As for the rest, I don't think it's being a bridezilla to be disappointed when you had an expectation and it isn't met. To jump up and down and scream at whoever let you down - now that is a bridezilla. To demand that everyone wear their hair up and dye their shoes, is a bridezilla. To want to be treated with respect . . . that is something we should all expect - whether planning a wedding or not.

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Posted by CTarantino

I learned a long time ago no one cares really when you come down to it people have their lives and no one cares more than you. That is why I don't get stressed out too much. I am pretty chill with most things. At least I try not to let little things stress me out
Enjoy it as much as you can and DON'T Sweat the small stuff!!!

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That's so funny b/c lately that's how I'm feeling. I have stressed over such minutiae while planning this 'gala event' ...lol. Lately my attitude has been don't sweat the small stuff. It's just too exhausting to freak over every little thing!

I saw many of my friends get married before me. I think I know I bridezilla when I see it. Some of my friends did not keep in touch at all when they were engaged. The only time I heard a peep from them was when it was time for me to shell out cash for gifts or BM dresses or chip in for a shower. That was wrong and I never got over being treated that way and pushed aside b/c I was still single. They probably thought that I let them down because I was not so enthusiastic. but for the friends who were good to me, I did all I could when they got married!

On the other hand, I have talked to some girls from here who have been good friends, have not acted like jerks and have asked very little. And still they are really getting stepped on by people who should be there for them.

And when I planned my wedding, I talked about it most on here but not so much with my non-LIW friends at all. So they can't complain! It was fun b/c they did not know ahead of time what was on the menu or what the flowers would look like, etc. We just talked about our usual stuff and I came here for wedding stuff

All in all, I learned who my true friends were when some of them got married and then I learned more when I got married!!!

well it is a wedding forum and like a few others have said before, it is a place to vent. in addition, i think we all have our bridezilla moments. some days i dont think about the wedding, other days i am full force.

i dont talk about my wedding much outside of here, really. if i do it is with my sister, my mom or my best friend. i get the occasional question of 'how is the wedding planning going', and i just kind of shy away from it. i give the basics etc. it really depends who you talk to, some people dont really want to hear about your wedding plans, and who could blame them at times. i know i can come on here and talk about it.

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Posted by kase21

I agree completely.. sometimes we don't always see that we're a little over the top. The truth is that by agreeing to be part of our day they're doing us a favor - not the other way around.

Thanks for posting this topic. I think it had to be said...

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I so agree. That is why I did not put too much pressure on anyone in my bridal party because at the end of the day I was not doing anyone a favor but rather they were doing DH and I a favor. They have too much things going in their lives for me to stress them out even more. Also they are my ggod friends and I would not in a million years discuss any of our problems to people on a public forum for people to ridicule them and talk about how jealous they are. Whenever my friends and I have disagreements we work it out among ourselves we do not run to strangers to discuss our problems. Sometimes us brides get carried away with our wedding and create un-necessary conflicts and feel as if everyone is jealous of us which is so not the case.

Hmmm... definitely something to think about....

I'm a bridezilla b/c I expect my sisters (who I have been MOH for in both their weddings) to be there for me on MY special day?

I'm a bridezilla b/c I expect my BM's to call me once in a blue moon to see if there is anything they need to do, or just say hi?

I'm a bridezilla b/c I'm upset that my BIL isn't coming to the wedding b/c he has to do a flea market that my sister already paid for, even though she knew the date of my wedding before hand?? Or that my FH's Aunt isn't coming b/c she has to go to the races?

I'm a bridezilla b/c I occasionally get disappointed and need to vent in a place where I thought people would not be judgemental b/c they are all going through the same thing?

I wouldn't call that a bridezilla.... I'd call it HUMAN!

I think its a shame that ppl think that the Bridal party is doing the couple a favor by being in the wedding. I've been in a few weddings and I always saw it as an honor and not as I am doing the couple a favor. If I felt that way I would have declined.

If i asked you to be in my Bridal party that means that you are a close to me and it meant something for me to have you by my side during my day. Yeah you have to buy a dress, and hair and etc... but you also get stuff in return for being in a wedding. If I cant afford to be in a wedding I say no, and if stuff comes up during the pocess - I'd deal with it on my own - never bother the couple about it.

Weddings are such a special day and its great to just be invited, its even more special when you are in it and right in the middle of all the happiness. This was my feeling long before I was even thinking about relationships and weddings.

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Posted by VadersBride2006

Hmmm... definitely something to think about....

I'm a bridezilla b/c I expect my sisters (who I have been MOH for in both their weddings) to be there for me on MY special day?

I'm a bridezilla b/c I expect my BM's to call me once in a blue moon to see if there is anything they need to do, or just say hi?

I'm a bridezilla b/c I'm upset that my BIL isn't coming to the wedding b/c he has to do a flea market that my sister already paid for, even though she knew the date of my wedding before hand?? Or that my FH's Aunt isn't coming b/c she has to go to the races?

I'm a bridezilla b/c I occasionally get disappointed and need to vent in a place where I thought people would not be judgemental b/c they are all going through the same thing?

I wouldn't call that a bridezilla.... I'd call it HUMAN!

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I don't think most people on these boards are being judgemental...even with this topic.

I think that since we're all here to give advice and generally chat about all weddings things big and small, it's just more of an observation and some advice that we should take a step back and look at the bigger picture rather than sweating all the little things that ultimately we can't control.

No one was called out as a Bridezilla and there will be things that we should and do go crazy over - the store orders the wrong dress, the MOH dyes her hair green or whatever.

I totally agree with you. I am always saying that. The wedding is in the forefront of our minds, but not everyone we know.
I can't stand it when people crazy over the smallest little things that won't matter at all in the long run.

i think thats why we have this board so we dont drive our bms and fh husbands nuts .....everyone on her is a bride to be and can relate to our quirky anal retentive outbursts and can help us see reality.....it is an emotional time and everyone handles it differently some people arent so into it and some are but we are here to support eachother and forgive the 'bridezilla' moments we all may have ....because each of us can relate.......no need to point any fingers......its a stesful enough time in our lives ...thank god for LIW

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Posted by smara

I think its a shame that ppl think that the Bridal party is doing the couple a favor by being in the wedding. I've been in a few weddings and I always saw it as an honor and not as I am doing the couple a favor. If I felt that way I would have declined.

If i asked you to be in my Bridal party that means that you are a close to me and it meant something for me to have you by my side during my day. Yeah you have to buy a dress, and hair and etc... but you also get stuff in return for being in a wedding. If I cant afford to be in a wedding I say no, and if stuff comes up during the pocess - I'd deal with it on my own - never bother the couple about it.

Weddings are such a special day and its great to just be invited, its even more special when you are in it and right in the middle of all the happiness. This was my feeling long before I was even thinking about relationships and weddings.

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I think it is an honor to be asked, but it is just as much of a favor to us.

Where else can people pay for a dress they don't really get to choose and give up time for all kinds of commitments. Some of my BM's have gone to showcases, DJ appointments and listened to me endlessly drone on about some random purchase that I thought was great - when I'm sure she was bored out of her skull. To overlook the fact that the BP is doing extra for us would be a mistake.

My BM's are thrilled to be a part of my day, they just don't need to be a part of all the details.

It is an honor, but it's still not their top priority and I don't think it's fair to expect it to be.

Maybe this thing would be solved, by making sure we discuss what the expectations are before accepting the invitation to be in the BP.

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Posted by vinnysgrl

i think thats why we have this board so we dont drive our bms and fh husbands nuts .....everyone on her is a bride to be and can relate to our quirky anal retentive outbursts and can help us see reality.....it is an emotional time and everyone handles it differently some people arent so into it and some are but we are here to support eachother and forgive the 'bridezilla' moments we all may have ....because each of us can relate.......no need to point any fingers......its a stesful enough time in our lives ...thank god for LIW

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I completely agree.

did I misread the original post? I didn't know it was talking about people who were upset the bp wasn't participating in showers, etc. Honestly, if one of my BMs didn't come to my shower I would have been really upset. I was upset that 2 of my 3 aunts didn't think it was important enough to come to.

I thought she was talking about the little things that really won't matter at the end of the day- like if the cocktail napkins match the BM dresses or if you call one of your BMs with a question and she doesn't answer you in 30 seconds sort of things.