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This is not going to be a popular post.... just to warn you...

Tria1110 Posted:

This is not going to be a popular post.... just to warn you...

I have been dating my FH for a long time and I was very excited to get engaged and to be getting married.

That said.... The world does not revolve around me and our wedding day.

I have been reading way too many posts lately about brides to be being pi@@ed at one person or another for having other things going on in their lives aside from their weddings. And who hasn't done what for them ...

Can you say BRIDEZILLA!

sarahthegreat Posted:

Re: This is not going to be a popular post.... just to warn you...

i am right there with you. not everythign will go our way for 'our' day and we need to understand that.

CTarantino Posted:

Re: This is not going to be a popular post.... just to warn you...

I learned a long time ago no one cares really when you come down to it people have their lives and no one cares more than you. That is why I don't get stressed out too much. I am pretty chill with most things. At least I try not to let little things stress me out
Enjoy it as much as you can and DON'T Sweat the small stuff!!!
Maybride519 Posted:

Re: This is not going to be a popular post.... just to warn you...

I personally don't think its Bridezilla if people who you are counting on are letting you down! A Bridezilla is someone who tells her BM's that they all have to wear matching underwear!!
If somone accepts the role, it can be disapointing to have someone back out of events that go along with the role. Not that the world has to stop for this bride, but...what goes around, comes around and a bride will never forget all of the wonderful things that are done for her during her special time. Just my opinion. Not judging anyone elses opinion on this.

I just wanted to add that I am speaking of the bridal party, not any ol' guest that is invited. I know they don't give two sh!@t's! Lol.
espresso Posted:

Re: This is not going to be a popular post.... just to warn you...

Posted by Tria1110

I have been dating my FH for a long time and I was very excited to get engaged and to be getting married.

That said.... The world does not revolve around me and our wedding day.

I have been reading way too many posts lately about brides to be being pi@@ed at one person or another for having other things going on in their lives aside from their weddings. And who hasn't done what for them ...

Can you say BRIDEZILLA!



too funny! i was just thinking that a lot of posts on this site (i mean liweddings as a whole) are bridezilla, but the girls are unaware of it. im sorry, i know that's not a nice thing to say, but its how i feel.

good for you for posting it!
Jen2999 Posted:

Re: This is not going to be a popular post.... just to warn you...

I think it is easy to get caught up when we have been waiting so long for this part of our lives.

That being said, I do think it is best we all remember what this is all about and that YES it is the most important day in OUR lives, but it is not in everyone elses.

I think people struggle with the fact that others that are close to them may not be as supportive as they may have thought.
beautyq115 Posted:

Re: This is not going to be a popular post.... just to warn you...

Posted by Maybride519

I personally don't think its Bridezilla if people who you are counting on are letting you down! A Bridezilla is someone who tells her BM's that they all have to wear matching underwear!!
If somone accepts the role, it can be disapointing to have someone back out of events that go along with the role. Not that the world has to stop for this bride, but...what goes around, comes around and a bride will never forget all of the wonderful things that are done for her during her special time. Just my opinion. Not judging anyone elses opinion on this.


I agree with this...it can be upsetting for a bride if the bridal party is making her miserable...if you accept your role in a bridal party there are certain responsiblities...not that they need to be with you all the time but there are certain things that they are generally supposed to do
kase21 Posted:

Re: This is not going to be a popular post.... just to warn you...

I agree completely.. sometimes we don't always see that we're a little over the top. The truth is that by agreeing to be part of our day they're doing us a favor - not the other way around.

Thanks for posting this topic. I think it had to be said...

Maybride519 Posted:

Re: This is not going to be a popular post.... just to warn you...

I agree that the bridal party is doing us a favor but I think some people are actaully honored to be asked to be apart of such an important day. I think thats where the expectations can be misread and feelings can be hurt.

Jackie&Justin Posted:

Re: This is not going to be a popular post.... just to warn you...

I agree and disagree. There are definatly more important things in life and I think people need to realize that whats most important is the love of your fi and yourself, and family. That being said, it's an emotional time and you really find out who your true friend are during this process.

Maybride519 Posted:

Re: This is not going to be a popular post.... just to warn you...

Posted by Jackie&Justin

I agree and disagree. There are definatly more important things in life and I think people need to realize that whats most important is the love of your fi and yourself, and family. That being said, it's an emotional time and you really find out who your true friend are during this process.


'it's an emotional time and you really find out who your true friend are during this process'






Sadly...I think this is so true! It is hard to face sometimes.
glinda_goodwitch Posted:

Re: This is not going to be a popular post.... just to warn you...

I don't know if I'm being bridezilla or not. I mean, is it bridezilla to expect that your BMs will attend your shower and bachelorette party? I mean they are all attending the shower as guests since my mom and FMIL are paying for it. I don't think that is asking too much.

cjb88 Posted:

Re: This is not going to be a popular post.... just to warn you...

Posted by glinda_goodwitch

I don't know if I'm being bridezilla or not. I mean, is it bridezilla to expect that your BMs will attend your shower and bachelorette party? I mean they are all attending the shower as guests since my mom and FMIL are paying for it. I don't think that is asking too much.



i dont think that is a bridezilla at all....my feelings would be hurt too, and what better place then to vent about it here on a wedding chat board...

it is hard when you give your all for some people and they dont give it back in return...
glinda_goodwitch Posted:

Re: This is not going to be a popular post.... just to warn you...

Posted by cjb88

Posted by glinda_goodwitch

I don't know if I'm being bridezilla or not. I mean, is it bridezilla to expect that your BMs will attend your shower and bachelorette party? I mean they are all attending the shower as guests since my mom and FMIL are paying for it. I don't think that is asking too much.



i dont think that is a bridezilla at all....my feelings would be hurt too, and what better place then to vent about it here on a wedding chat board...

it is hard when you give your all for some people and they dont give it back in return...


That's EXACTLY how I feel. I feel like I try to be overly accomodating to people at the expense of myself, and I don't get anything in return.
kase21 Posted:

Re: This is not going to be a popular post.... just to warn you...

Posted by glinda_goodwitch

I don't know if I'm being bridezilla or not. I mean, is it bridezilla to expect that your BMs will attend your shower and bachelorette party? I mean they are all attending the shower as guests since my mom and FMIL are paying for it. I don't think that is asking too much.


Honestly I don't know. I'm a little more laid back about what I want them to do... which for me is be here for the rehearsal, the pics and wedding... that's what they signed up for. Everything else is extra, which I would appreciate, but it's not the end of the world if they can't attend.... but that's just me.
espresso Posted:

Re: This is not going to be a popular post.... just to warn you...

Posted by kase21

Posted by glinda_goodwitch

I don't know if I'm being bridezilla or not. I mean, is it bridezilla to expect that your BMs will attend your shower and bachelorette party? I mean they are all attending the shower as guests since my mom and FMIL are paying for it. I don't think that is asking too much.


Honestly I don't know. I'm a little more laid back about what I want them to do... which for me is be here for the rehearsal, the pics and wedding... that's what they signed up for. Everything else is extra, which I would appreciate, but it's not the end of the world if they can't attend.... but that's just me.


I agree.
listen, dont let it get to you. you'll have a great shower & bachlerette party even if some people dont show. and if they dont show, that doesnt mean they dont care about you! turning 21 is a big deal, and she prob feels its very impt to have the bday celebration around her birthday and with her friends, jsut like you feel its impt to have the bach party!
maybe you guys can somehow combine parties and meet up later?
even if not, i dont think its a make or break situation

in any case, i wouldnt worry about it
july06bride Posted:

Re: This is not going to be a popular post.... just to warn you...

I agree and disagree to a point... No one will be as excited as I am for my wedding, except maybe my mother...and no the world does not revolve around me...BUT when people who are close to me and who accept being a bridesmaid don't do anything at all...or cant come to any events pre-wedding it hurts...If you couldnt commit than you shouldnt have said yes! JMHO

Boston&NY2006 Posted:

Re: This is not going to be a popular post.... just to warn you...

I do agree that it's not just about the bride, and that we certainly must be understanding of others in our planning, but...

Keep in mind that this is, for some brides, the only place they can come to vent when their emotions get high. I have become frustrated during my planning, and have found solace knowing that other brides on here are feeling the same things. Perhaps some of the BM/FMIL vents seem ridiculous to you, but these issues can be a real source of stress to even the most gracious and accomodating brides. I think you will find that most of the vent posts on here all begin or end with the bride saying that she needs advice on what to do because she doesn't want to step on toes or hurt someone's feelings. By definition, a bridezilla doesn't care if she steps on toes or insults others to get her way.

In addition, there are certain commitments that a BM/GM makes when they accept a bride or groom's offer to be part of a bridal party. While I am all for trying to accomodate one's bridal party and lessen the financial/time burden of being in the wedding, it is, in some cases quite rude and inconsiderate to not take the responsibilities of being in a BP seriously.

Sure, there are definitely some posts on here from time to time that scream, 'Bridezilla,' but I think that the vast majority of 'vent' posts are just brides looking for guidance from others who are going through the same thing.
Boston&NY2006 Posted:

Re: This is not going to be a popular post.... just to warn you...

Posted by july06bride

I agree and disagree to a point... No one will be as excited as I am for my wedding, except maybe my mother...and no the world does not revolve around me...BUT when people who are close to me and who accept being a bridesmaid don't do anything at all...or cant come to any events pre-wedding it hurts...If you couldnt commit than you shouldnt have said yes! JMHO



Well said!
Maybride519 Posted:

Re: This is not going to be a popular post.... just to warn you...

Beautifully said Boston&NY2006!!!

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