This is somewhat wedding related, but I need to vent...

I'm going to cry. JT and I have a wedding to go to in the city this Saturday that is BLEEDING US DRY. It is for a friend of mine, but after all is said and done, with my wedding in less than two months, I just cannot afford this. It's black tie, so JT had to go and rent a tux, and the cheapest he could find it was 140 bucks, fine, then there's parking in the city, which is going to be 50 bucks (and that's a discounted rate), then gas, then a gift for them. After all is said and done, this ONE wedding is setting me back over 500 dollars. I'm so upset. I CANNOT afford to spend 500 dollars to go to someone else's wedding. I just can't I'm so upset. I feel so overwhelmed right now.

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Posted by jersee3380

i understand how you feel .. but to play devils advocate ... you knew the date and how close it was ...

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I don't understand this, but ok. I had my wedding planned before her's. I just really do not have any extra money right now. My sister got married three weeks ago, my other friend got married yesterday, and now this wedding on Saturday. What p!sses me off the most is that I had my wedding date set before any of them were even thinking about getting married. And that's fine, they certainly have every right to get married before me, but i don't have to be happy about it. And honestly, the only other wedding besides my own that means anything to me, was my sister's, and I just hate that I have to feel like I am being cheap because I can't toss 900 dollars out the freaking door in one week for other people's weddings when MY OWN wedding isn't even paid for. I'm sorry. i'm just in a p!ssy mood over this.

I have 3 weddings within 8 weeks after mine. The last one is local, and it is my brother's, so I am VERY excited about it. The other two, however are out of town and are going to cost us a bloody fortune. The first one is in Cape May, NJ during victorian mansion week...so all of the hotels are double in price and have 2 night minimums (and she couldn't be bothered to block rooms for discounts-and my parents are PAYING FOR HER HOTEL ROOM AT THE HARRISON HOUSE for my wedding) (sorry that really pisses me off)---there goes $500 just for the hotel...not to mention gas, tolls, GIFT, dress, etc.

The weekend after that we have another wedding out of town that we couldn't decline b/c it is FH's step-brother (even though we only see him once per year). It is in Seattle. Between the airfare, hotel and car rental for both of us it starts at over $1k...and then add gift, etc. on top of that.

Did I mention that I'm not working yet b/c I just had my last final in law school today and have to study for the bar? Or that we're in contract to buy a house, so we really have no money left?

Point? These are things we have to do. You're better off going and enjoying yourself, than sitting on the computer being po-d about it. It might take some time to pay it all off, but you've got to do what you've got to do.

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Posted by FTRBRIDE


Point? These are things we have to do. You're better off going and enjoying yourself, than sitting on the computer being po-d about it. It might take some time to pay it all off, but you've got to do what you've got to do.

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Oh, trust me, I agree 100% with this, but I am having a hard time with this today. It's just one of those days when you look at your bank account and wonder how in heII you are going to afford your life. Panic attacks have set in as a regular occurrence over this wedding I am having. I am sure I am not the ONLY one, but today, it sure as heII feels like it.

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Posted by prncssrachel

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Posted by FTRBRIDE


Point? These are things we have to do. You're better off going and enjoying yourself, than sitting on the computer being po-d about it. It might take some time to pay it all off, but you've got to do what you've got to do.

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Oh, trust me, I agree 100% with this, but I am having a hard time with this today. It's just one of those days when you look at your bank account and wonder how in heII you are going to afford your life. Panic attacks have set in as a regular occurrence over this wedding I am having. I am sure I am not the ONLY one, but today, it sure as heII feels like it.

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I'm sure it will all work out. How about taking the train in? I know it's not the most luxurious way to travel, but I've taken the train into the city dressed up and it's not the end of the world. It will save you a bunch of money and you can both drink and enjoy yourself.

Also, check the pennysaver. I've seen some ads in there that are for tuxedo rentals that are like $79- probably not the nicest tuxed ever, but it's not you're wedding so it should be a big deal. Check to see if FH's current rental is cancellable first.

Why not give a smaller gift?
They have to take into account that you have your own wedding coming up, your sister's just passed, and you had to shell out some cash for the event.....
I'd give a smaller gift if I were you!
There's no reason to go to the poor house for someone else's wedding.

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Posted by FTRBRIDE



I'm sure it will all work out. How about taking the train in? I know it's not the most luxurious way to travel, but I've taken the train into the city dressed up and it's not the end of the world. It will save you a bunch of money and you can both drink and enjoy yourself.

Also, check the pennysaver. I've seen some ads in there that are for tuxedo rentals that are like $79- probably not the nicest tuxed ever, but it's not you're wedding so it should be a big deal. Check to see if FH's current rental is cancellable first.

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Thanks I must sound like a complete brat today. I just have to breathe, breathe, breathe......

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Posted by FTRBRIDE

I don't know where you are located but I got something in the mail the other day (I threw it out unfortunately) but it was for a $69 tuxedo rental from Gennaro's Tuxedo in Centereach.

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OMG, really? That's where we're getting our tuxes for the wedding. Why the hell JT didn't go there in the first place, I don't know. I could smack him. I'm going to see if he can cancel the other one. Thank you so much for that info!

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Posted by palebride

Why not give a smaller gift?
They have to take into account that you have your own wedding coming up, your sister's just passed, and you had to shell out some cash for the event.....
I'd give a smaller gift if I were you!
There's no reason to go to the poor house for someone else's wedding.

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I can't bring myself to do that. It's not the difference of 100 bucks that's going to make or break us, it's just the whole shebang together. I thought about giving a smaller gift, but I just can't bring myself to do that. I was SUPPOSED to be in her bridal party, but I had to drop out when she told me the dress was close to 300 dollars BEFORE alterations. I just could NOT swing that.

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Posted by prncssrachel

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Posted by FTRBRIDE

I don't know where you are located but I got something in the mail the other day (I threw it out unfortunately) but it was for a $69 tuxedo rental from Gennaro's Tuxedo in Centereach.

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OMG, really? That's where we're getting our tuxes for the wedding. Why the hell JT didn't go there in the first place, I don't know. I could smack him. I'm going to see if he can cancel the other one. Thank you so much for that info!

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No problem...i'm like 99% sure that was the place...but if they say no, call around...you can DEFINATELY do better than $140.

i completely understand how you feel. and it doesn't matter if you regualary drop that much for a wedding - i see it as a timing issue. and i know its hard, but you'll get through it. just make sure you have waaay too many drinks so you know you got what you paid for

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Posted by beautyq115

Since your weddings are so close together is there any way that you both could agree on not giving each other a gift? Just a thought...

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That's a good idea. I would maybe discuss this with her. She may so thrilled to hear this now but trust me, when it's her turn to go to your wedding, she'll be very relieved that she knows she's doesn't have to bring a gift.

But you probably don't want to do that either... you're just venting. I understand. Weddings are expensive.

Hey, you forgot tolls. JK!!!