To the 08'ers with love … … … from the 07'ers

With just barely over 1 week until it is officially 'YOUR YEAR,' here are some words of advice from one the old married ladies on the 07 board … The other girls plan to add to this thread as well.


Your Day, Your Way
Whatever you do, no matter who is paying for what part of the wedding, don't forget that the day is supposed to be about you & your FH. And the love that the two of you share, which is what got you to this point in the first place. Don't loose sight of that, put your personal stamp on everything and make sure it reflects your taste and personality. Even when someone tells you they're not sure they love the flowers you picked, or she thinks she likes something about 'the other dress' more, or 'what do you mean you're not wearing heels?' Do what feels right to you. Do what makes you happy. Do it your way!


The Bridal Party
* Don't allow you & your FH to be bullied into asking people to be Bridesmaids or Groomsmen. Keep it small and intimate (less members = less stress), and only ask the people you know you will always have in your lives. Just because you used to be close, or you were in their bridal party doesn't mean they have to be in your Bridal Party. Make your selections wisely.

* Be kind to them, and they will be kind back. What goes around comes around, and Karma is a b!tch!!!

* I've always found it ridiculous when Brides make crazy demands of their girls. Especially about hairstyle, makeup, shoes, nails. I provided information about my hairstylist/makeup artist, but did not insist that anyone have anything professionally done. They asked how to wear their hair, I responded to them they should do whatever they wanted as long as they felt beautiful. Who cares if you were planning to wear your hair in an up-do, its not like anyone will confuse who is the bride & a bridesmaid!! When they asked what shoes to wear, my only request is that they were brown (the color of their dresses) & comfortable. It’s a long day for the bridal party too, if they're not comfortable with what they're wearing or how they look, they'll be a lot less likely to smile in your expensive pictures!

* Pregnancy is a wonderful life event and is meant to be celebrated. Never ask anyone to plan their pregnancy around your wedding day. My MOH and one of my BMs were pregnant at our wedding. Congratulate them. Tell them how wonderful it is, what a blessing it is, and that you hope it will bring you & your FH lots of luck when it is your turn. And do whatever you can to help accommodate them with picking the dress … even if they will be far enough along that a maternity style will be necessary.


Ignore The Weather
Out of every aspect of wedding planning, this is the ONE thing you have ABSOLUTELY NO CONTROL OVER WHATSOEVER! Make sure you have a Plan B incase it is gross out that day, and then leave it up to fate. Checking the almanac and the weather 100 times the week of the wedding will not change anything. Most likely the forecast will be wrong anyway. And if it does rain/snow/hail, take comfort in knowing that some of the best photos on these boards were taken in the rain. Rainy Day Pictures


Get it in Writing
Now I know this sounds like common sense, but sometimes during wedding planning you get caught up in the emotion of everything and common sense flies out the window! The BM we booked with mysteriously disappeared after we booked our wedding, without warning or notice. Foolishly, we had left a few very important details with a verbal agreement and a handshake. Neither means anything if the BM went back to Argentina or now works at another hall. If we had put those in writing, it would have saved us a lot of hassle and unnecessary stress.


Hire a DOC
Make sure she's reliable, reputable and on the ball … and it will save you tons of headaches on the big day. I can't even believe that I wasn't planning to have a DOC, I'm not sure I could have gotten through the day without her. They will be there to make sure everything is setup just how you imagined it to be, and to handle any last minute emergency or crisis that comes up.


Get a Video
We don't have ours back yet, but I can't wait to see it. The day went by so quickly, and is such a blur in my memory. My Aunt was there with her video camera and *promised* to send us the footage so we could see it as soon as we got back from the honeymoon, but her husband ended up recording over our ceremony with footage of her dancing with one of her sisters. Even if you don't pay for the editing, just spend the money to have it professionally captured on video.


Get the 2nd Photographer
While I do love my proofs and think our photographer did a good job, I just wish there were more of them. Shots from a different angle, shots of other people's reactions as things were happening, more candid pictures. I thought I wanted to add a photojournalist, but was talked out of it. I should have trusted my 'Bride Instinct.' Also … please remember that not every single picture that is taken that day is going to be perfect. The girls on this site post the BEST out of hundreds of proofs. Please don't set yourself up for disappointment thinking ALL your pictures will be as perfect as the ones you see on LIW.


Soak It All In
A few times throughout the evening, take a moment with your brand new Hubby to look around the room, and absorb everything going on around you. Everyone there in that room took the time out of their life to be there for you. Feel the love in the room. Look around and see all the personal details and personal touches that you worked so hard to create.

Eat!
If you don't you'll pass out! You will be served first. Sit down with your new Hubby and eat a few bites. Most halls give you the option of having a little of everything (or whatever menu options you want). So, eat for nourishment. And eat to enjoy your wedding food that you worked so hard to pick out. And eat so when your Great Aunt Mildred complains that the chicken was dry or the steak was too rare, you can rest assured that either she's the only one or that she's crazy!


Dance!
Dance like there's no tomorrow! there isn't ... there's only 1 wedding day! Spend as much time as you possibly can on the dance floor celebrating. I promise you will never look back on your wedding and say you danced too much. You might, however, look back and say 'I spent too much time going around to the tables' or 'I spent too much time taking posed family pictures.' Its your party and you should enjoy it!


Write a Review
And start it NOW! Write it in Word and save it on your computer. As you go through the next year of planning your wedding, there will be vendors who you forget the details of your dealings as you get closer to the day. You can always go back and edit it before posting on the site. Reviews from 06'ers and before helped me out so much when planning my wedding, they're a way of making sure to 'Pay It Forward' to the future LIW brides. mine is still a work in progress, i promise to post it very soon.


Some Threads From My Notebook
I found these all to be very helpful throughout my planning process:
* MOAHTT: Mother Of All Helpful Threads Thread

* JIFFY's New Updated Super To Do List

* Packing For Your Honeymoon Getaway: 10 Helpful Tips

* List of things people forgot on the big day

* Ultimate Budget List

* List of Items for Day of Emergency Kit

* Post Your First Time Seeing Eachother Pics

* THE OFFICIAL What You Need to Get Hitched Legally Thread. everyone about to get their marriage license, breathe and read: (now includes info you need for AFTER the wedding)


And with all that said, make sure you ENJOY YOUR ENGAGEMENT. Enjoy every second of it. Celebrate it. You will never get this time back, you can never do it over again.


I wish you all the best, most perfect, wonderful weddings ... and a lifetime of happiness to follow.



May everything you wish for …. be the least that you get.




PS > I am sure I will have more to add to this … it is still a work in progress.