Today is a day I will never forget...look at my last post...

Original post by Jsquared279

Jan 09, 2009 09:14 AM

So today marks the 9th anniversary of my best friend's passing. He was 17. He hung himself. He was everything to me and loosing him was probably the worst thing that has ever happened to me. For a long time I couldn't get past it. I couldn't move on. I would spend every anniversary and every birthday of his at his grave side. For the past couple of years I have not gone. I feel guilty about that, but I live in Maryland now and I know I can mourn and remember without being at the cemetery.

So today I feel odd. I am in a good mood. I am not super down or crying. I remember what happened. I remember what he was to me. I remember the joy he brought me and the love I felt for him. I miss him terribly, but I don't feel like I need to sit here in a puddle of my tears all day. Perhaps I am growing up and moving past it. Anyways, I just wanted to share what today is for me. Thanks for reading!

Wesley James Whitworth 7/21/1982 -1/9/2000
He will always be a part of me no matter where I roam.

Jsquared279 Posted: Jan 09, 2009 09:43 AM

Re: Today is a day I will never forget...

Posted by meara

Gosh. . so sorry you had to experience that and will continue to. . and you should never feel guilty for feeling like you are not mourning in the 'right way' or enough. It is clear that you were a good friend and were so touched by him. . and though the quality of the intensity of losing him might change.. it will never diminish what you were able to give to each other (and still do in some way)

Wow....thank you....I can't thank you enough for saying that

MrsCastanedain09 Posted: Jan 09, 2009 09:47 AM

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Hi sweetie. You will be in my thoughts all day today. I can relate to how you feel, especially when you say you don't feel as bad today....

My college sweetheart died in a car accident my senior year- January 30, 2000. Every anniversary and every birthday, I mourned. He was my bestfriend. When you lose someone so suddenly, so tragically...it's so hard. Over the years, I pray and talk to him all the time. I ask his spirit to guide me.

In August 2007, I actually didn't realize that I had missed his birthday and I felt guilty about it. Then everything started to come together...his birthday that year was also the night of my first date with FH. What a gift he gave me. You will feel his presence on your wedding day and on all the VERY special milestones that await. I'm so sure of it.

Stay strong lovely!

Jsquared279 Posted: Jan 09, 2009 09:49 AM

Re: Today is a day I will never forget...

Posted by MrsCastanedain09

Hi sweetie. You will be in my thoughts all day today. I can relate to how you feel, especially when you say you don't feel as bad today....

My college sweetheart died in a car accident my senior year- January 30, 2000. Every anniversary and every birthday, I mourned. He was my bestfriend. When you lose someone so suddenly, so tragically...it's so hard. Over the years, I pray and talk to him all the time. I ask his spirit to guide me.

In August 2007, I actually didn't realize that I had missed his birthday and I felt guilty about it. Then everything started to come together...his birthday that year was also the night of my first date with FH. What a gift he gave me. You will feel his presence on your wedding day and on all the VERY special milestones that await. I'm so sure of it.

Stay strong lovely!

OMG...WOW...Thank you so much for sharing that with me. What an amazing thing he gave you! I am tearing up now. Thank you all for all your care.

GT143EA Posted: Jan 09, 2009 09:50 AM

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Im so sorry for your loss sweetie! But Im so glad that you are coping with this better then you have the past few years.

Nuvia97 Posted: Jan 09, 2009 09:51 AM

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it is always hard to lose someone special in your life especially when lost so young. Even though it is difficult at times, as the years pass, the memories of the times shared with that person always remain within us and comfort us during the hard times.

Babydoll21 Posted: Jan 09, 2009 09:53 AM

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I am so sorry Keep your head up today for im sure we would want you too

angels914 Posted: Jan 09, 2009 09:56 AM

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I am so sorry for your loss. It is NEVER an easy thing to go through. In May 1996 I was in a fatal car accident in Florida with my sister, and she died in it . She was only 38. She left behind a husband and two little children. Like you, I used to go to the cemetery all the time... meaning every single 19th of the month.. this went on for about 2 years or so... I was putting myself through hell. I shut everyone out of my life (family, friends and even my bf at the time)... I had to put an end to it , and finally accept what had happened. Until today which is over 12 yrs later, I still can not accept it, but I have to deal with it, and it hurts so bad.... but we never know what is going to happen each and every day. We have to live it like it, not knowing what is going to happend. Be happpy for the time you had with him, and smile knowing he is watching over you each and every day. Have a good day today ! This is what he wants you to do !

chicky724 Posted: Jan 09, 2009 10:11 AM

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Awwww

Lisa909 Posted: Jan 09, 2009 10:13 AM

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Oh Jess I'm so sorry!!! My thoughts and prayers are with you

FutureMrsM Posted: Jan 09, 2009 10:18 AM

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Jsquared279 Posted: Jan 09, 2009 10:19 AM

Re: Today is a day I will never forget...

Posted by angels914

I am so sorry for your lose. It is NEVER an easy thing to go through. In May 1996 I was in a fatal car accident in Florida with my sister, and she died in it . She was only 38. She left behind a husband and two little children. Like you, I used to go to the cemetery all the time... meaning every single 19th of the month.. this went on for about 2 years or so... I was putting myself through hell. I shut everyone out of my life (family, friends and even my bf at the time)... I had to put an end to it , and finally accept what had happened. Until today which is over 12 yrs later, I still can not accept it, but I have to deal with it, and it hurts so bad.... but we never know what is going to happen each and every day. We have to live it like it, not knowing what is going to happend. Be happpy for the time you had with him, and smile knowing he is watching over you each and every day. Have a good day today ! This is what he wants you to do !

Thank you so much! I am so sorry for your loss!

dutchessev Posted: Jan 09, 2009 10:23 AM

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simbaspaws Posted: Jan 09, 2009 11:33 AM

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I am so sorry to hear that. I had a good friend who hung himself too, when we were about 13. It was so tragic and deeply upsetting.....

flairforfashion Posted: Jan 09, 2009 11:39 AM

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Hun I am so sorry for your loss. It's never easy losing a friend. I have lost a few back in high school and it's not easy to go through this. My thoughts and prayers go out to you, his family and those impacted by this loss.

coldasice217 Posted: Jan 09, 2009 11:43 AM

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I'm so sorry for your loss, and may he finally now have the peace that he needed.

krislee316 Posted: Jan 09, 2009 11:47 AM

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I am so sorry for your loss and am sure he is watching over you an smiling.

Jsquared279 Posted: Jan 09, 2009 11:49 AM

Re: Today is a day I will never forget...

Posted by coldasice217

I'm so sorry for your loss, and may he finally now have the peace that he needed.

Thank you, yes I pray that he is at peace now. I never knew he would ever do this. I would have done anything to help him and to help him see that he was only 17 and his problems were temporary. I wish I could have made him believe that he was strong enough to survive his troubles and be stronger once he conquered them. I pray he is with me on my wedding day! Thanks girls!

shell1879 Posted: Jan 09, 2009 11:52 AM

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my heart goes out to you and all his loved ones

i lost my BFF when we were 14 i think of him every day i will never forget him.
i wonder if it's appropriate to invite his sister and parents to the wedding . i have been contemplating this for a whilee. I know they would remember me since we were such good friends

ckleinismine Posted: Jan 09, 2009 12:00 PM

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That is just devestating. It must be really hard but you seen strong about it. May i ask why he hung himself? Was he having problems. My sisters neighbor hung himself, he was in his teens, why??