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UPDATE' this is no joke'

catsgirl Posted:

UPDATE' this is no joke'

i posted my friends husband left her for his mom !! well here a mo. ago he went out w/ friends, and he called and said he was staying w/ so and so cause he was to drunk to drive, well here he stayed w/ another man he met at the bar, now he sez he is confused and cant stop thinking about him, what the F*CK, DOES THIS MEAN HE IS COMING OUT THE CLOSET? i told her to just end it, to me that is sick, i'm just as confused as she is. i feel so bad for her she is such a wreck, and it is causing all kind of controversy and she is hearing so much different advice from family she is at wits end, and her parents and family said he is never welcome again, i dont know what to do for her, this whole time i just listened and offered lots of hugs, now i feel bad for telling her to let go, i feel this was the wrong advice, i am speechless and dont know what to do for her, any suggestions would help. thanks for listening.

Kimbalina Posted:

Re: UPDATE' this is no joke'

he is drunk at 840am?

dajc23 Posted:

Re: UPDATE' this is no joke'

Wowwwwwwww...I actually thought about this story more and even mentioned it to FH and we both came up with the fact that he might be gay and was just too afraid to come out and say anything.

2007 Crescent Bride Posted:

Re: UPDATE' this is no joke'

Tell her to run fast

dajc23 Posted:

Re: UPDATE' this is no joke'


Posted by Kimbalina

he is drunk at 840am?




No she was just saying that this happened a month ago lol not this morning
Mici n KC Posted:

Re: UPDATE' this is no joke'

You are doing the right thing and giving her the support she needs. to her. She definitely needs to end it. She doesn't need to deal with this nonsense.
MrsHtobe Posted:

Re: UPDATE' this is no joke'

I was trying to remember which story this was - this was the one about the guy who went home to live with his mom bc he wasn't ready to be a father / husband, right?

Thats crazy, but if he thinks that he likes men, his curiousity probably wouldn't let him be faithful to her anyhow.

I'm sorry your friend is going through this
catsgirl Posted:

Re: UPDATE' this is no joke'


Posted by dajc23


Posted by Kimbalina

he is drunk at 840am?




No she was just saying that this happened a month ago lol not this morning



yeah and a couple days ago he moved out while she was at work an said he missed his mom, well yesterday they talked and this is what he told her, i'm not against gay relationships but figure this out before you marry and destroy someone elses life and there childs.
LoveRocks Posted:

Re: UPDATE' this is no joke'

You have FM

lkdrnw Posted:

Re: UPDATE' this is no joke'

I am so sorry for your friend--luckily she has someone like you to be there for her. I think she should let go and move on---esp if he has no idea what he wants. I hope the best for her

AMGBride2008 Posted:

Re: UPDATE' this is no joke'

You did the right thing. She has to think about her child more than anything and for a child to be in an environment like that I think can be damaging.

Not to scare you or your friend, but I would suggest that she get an AIDS test just to be on the safe side. Who knows what this husband of her's has been up to behind her back.

You're doing the right thing by just being there for her... tell her to follow her gut instinct and not to listen to the hoards of advice people are throwing her way.
catsgirl Posted:

Re: UPDATE' this is no joke'


Posted by LoveRocks

You have FM



yes, i do.....
JimmysPants Posted:

Re: UPDATE' this is no joke'


Posted by catsgirl


Posted by dajc23


Posted by Kimbalina

he is drunk at 840am?




No she was just saying that this happened a month ago lol not this morning



yeah and a couple days ago he moved out while she was at work an said he missed his mom, well yesterday they talked and this is what he told her, i'm not against gay relationships but figure this out before you marry and destroy someone elses life and there childs.



EXACTLY! POOR GIRL.
mariaobride Posted:

Re: UPDATE' this is no joke'

aww that is so sad I feel so sad for your friend
skinny237 Posted:

Re: UPDATE' this is no joke'

I feel so bad for your friend. What a crazy story!
Teamhurldon Posted:

Re: UPDATE' this is no joke'

If he's gay , I really dont think they should try to work it out, unless shes comfortable knowing he will always have a little somethin somethin on the side....ew

hannahshim Posted:

Re: UPDATE' this is no joke'

I remember your last post..

omg I am speechless........
I feel soo bad for your friend but I think your doing the right thing... just be honest with her and give her all the support that she needs. you sound like such a great friend =]
hannahshim Posted:

Re: UPDATE' this is no joke'


Posted by Teamhurldon

If he's gay , I really dont think they should try to work it out, unless shes comfortable knowing he will always have a little somethin somethin on the side....ew



seriously ew..
kellyannebrennan Posted:

Re: UPDATE' this is no joke'

he said 'I'm not ready to be a husband and a father'? That makes him a bad person- he should have thought about that before he had the baby! JMO I totally say move on.

bluegreen08 Posted:

Re: UPDATE' this is no joke'

If this is true, I feel horrible for both parties (instead of hating the guy). He must have felt really trapped if he got married and even went so far as to have a baby. He was probably planning on that being his life, until he got drunk and his smothered feelings came out.

I wouldn't try to push for them to get back together, although if she could ever forgive him down the road and wants to, he could still be a part of the child's life.

Just be there for your friend and validate her feelings. This has got to be so tough and embarrassing for her. I'm sure she's thinking 'how did i date him all these years and not know he was gay?' 'did he really love me or was i just a cover act?' etc. it's normal to think that. she shouldnt smother her feelings.... thats what he did and look what happened.

it's just an awful situation and i feel so bad for your friend. hopefully she has a great support network of family and friends (which it sounds like) and people can step in to help with the baby too.

so i guess in sum the things you can do are:

1. be there for her as a listener
2. validate her feelings
3. help out with the baby
4. try to keep people from talking about her behind her back if you think you can
5. support her in her decision of what kind of relationship if any she chooses to have with her soon to be x
6. suggest counseling, and offer to go with her

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