So my very preggo bf and BM just dropped. I knew this was coming. She never checked her maternity benefits (shes an uncertified teacher in Louisiana) and doesnt have them. She paid for her dress in full and wants to keep it. I knew this was coming...she told me she was preg in June and dresses ordered in Aug...but i cant help but be sad. Shes my first friend and my best friend. Shell come to the ceremony she said and her heart is broken she doesnt want to drop.
I would KILL to have her wear the gown and just do the ceremony!!!!
So Im sitting here balling. I dont blame her, and am no way mad at her. I just hate my bridal party. Well not all of them, but the whole situaion just *****. Its like there not even my friends anymore. No one calls me. I text and text and beg for a call back..and never a call back....When I did reach 2 BMs - they were both like oh yea...sorry were busy...call me if you need anything....and now one isnt coming until the day before due to overuse of vacation time, and the other cant help me bc she is shopping for her own wedding gown with her mom! She comes in tues...i told her i needed her thurs and fri night one for bach party and one for wedding things, and all day sat (for rehersal and dinner since its during day and an hour away) and sun is the wedding. I really didnt think it was soo much! My mom has her own agenda and Jason cant take time off, and this other BM says she needs the time to oo her own thing basically.. and I am so HURT! I have gotten no help from these girls, and its like they dont even want to. So I'll do it on my own then, but its like they dont even want or care to spend time with me, let alone give me a phone call
My MOH/Sis is tempermental, so shes good when she wants to be, and i have 2 other bms who have been helpful, but im so heartbroken over Deb, the preggo - not being able to be in it, and the other 2 who i dont even feel connected to anymore. I feel like the poor @$$hole of the group from Highschool. I gave myself to these girls. When BM1 (who used too much vaca time) got married in Nov - I went to her house 5 days before (she lives out of state) and took a loss at work pay bc i had beenout of vaca time - but she needed me. I went to her shower, and helped her with her wedding no porblems...
BM2 - her wedding is still a year and a half away and she has no problem asking me to help her - look at NY banquet menus for her and loook and at this and find salons in NY that carry specific...and as a dumb schmo I do it, as a BM, but mostly as a friend...these girls have been my friends practically my whole life....
I feel like no one is excited or happy. I have been so depressed lately and i know this is a huge contributor. I really dont even feel like im their friends, or my stuff is less important than theirs...they dont even pick up my calls or answer my texts! They dont even really know im sick and havent been able to work - bc I cant talk to them about it. They dont respond to my sisters emails about a bach party - and arent coming to my shower.
It just really hurts. you can give and give and give, but that doesnt mean others will return the favor when its your turn.
Did i do something wrong that I deserve this? I feel like im at a loss. Im hurting so bad, really bad. Esp with Deb. Im not mad at her - i mean she wasnt going to bring baby to the reception, she wound up getting a sitter, i love her to death - but shes doing the right thing. It just hurts....
and im disappointed in the other 2. This whole experience is not what i expected. I dont feel like i have any friends really anymore.
Thanks for listening.
**************************************************UPDATE!!!
thanks so much girls for your wonderful replies! You are right. I really need to step into reality about priorities and deal with what I really have here. For the 2 who are being dumb about this. Oh well. I told ash to get a reply about wther one will be there for the Bach pty and if not im doing someting cooler without her..
AS for DEB! - she called me crying too she feels so bad...so she is IN!!! Her husband wont be there she asked me if her SIL can come as a nanny - I told her absolutely! She will do ceremony and as many pics as she can - she wont be in the limo and unlikely for the reception, but I am elated I dont care!!!
And best part is night before we are doing a sleepover, just me her and lil mariessa, who will be born this week!!
Thanks agan, I am really taking your replies to heart and Bonnie and the rest of you are absolutely right!!!
Im off to premarital now
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