updated:we might have to canel the wedding!

Original post by Leslie143

Apr 25, 2007 11:44 PM

well, my mother and father just got into a financial problem and now they cant afford my RH. my parents were going to pay for everything because my FH's parents dont have the money to do so. they are older and retired too. im like soo upset! i got my wedding dress on layaway, and my shoes, veil, ect. i dont even think i can pay it off now! and my BMs already purchased their dresses! i have no idea what im going to do. i wish i had money and was financially stable to be able to afford my own wedding instead of relying on other ppl because things like this happen. we already out a deposit which is non refundable on the hall. im really bugging the hell out, and i just found out litterally about 3 mins ago. my dad told me to just go to the court and get married like that! ***! i want to get married the right way. not in a court room! ughhhh

so here is the update: my aunt and uncle told me that they would pay for half of the cost, and my brother will pay the other half. but i told my aunt and uncle i would pay them back. so id rather do payments with them, than taking out a loan! so im just really relieved now and im ready to get married in august! yay...thanks for all of your support and great advise, i soooo appreciate it girls!

Mizzdimple Posted: Apr 26, 2007 10:25 AM

Re: we might have to canel the wedding!

Really sorry to hear about this., I think you should definaltey move the wedding up and save to pay for it yourself. Maybe choose another location that is not as pricey as your current hall., cut the guest list a bit and have an intimate wedding.!

Trishthedish Posted: Apr 26, 2007 11:04 AM

Re: we might have to canel the wedding!

Posted by Kara and Todd

I'm so sorry to hear this.

However, DO NOT go into debt to pay for your wedding. If you can't afford to save enough for it in the first place, you can't afford loan payments. Starting out married life with unnecessary debt and financial constraints is not healthy.

Others have offered suggestions -- push the date back or have a smaller wedding (People WILL understand)... Remember, as much as many of us dream of having the perfect wedding, what's important is the MARRIAGE, not the wedding. I know you're bummed, but focus on marrying the man of your dreams (and starting your marriage in a good place) instead of the party. I realize that's easier said than done, but focusing on what is really important may help. You still have your man.

Were you planning a church ceremony? Why not just have the ceremony and have close family and friends (the BP) to a dinner afterwards?

Good luck!

I am sorry to hear of all this.

I firmly agree with Kara. If my parents were not paying for my reception hall, and FH's parents helping out with some of the vendors, I would never be able to have a wedding. I could not imagine putting myself in debt for 1 day. I personally would get married on an island if I had no choice and just have close family and extremely close friends with me. If that was not an option, I would have a ceremony at my church and have a lunch or dinner afterwards.

In the end, like Kara said, at least you have the love of your life.

DSaug07 Posted: Apr 26, 2007 11:47 AM

Re: we might have to canel the wedding!

Posted by Kara and Todd

I'm so sorry to hear this.

However, DO NOT go into debt to pay for your wedding. If you can't afford to save enough for it in the first place, you can't afford loan payments. Starting out married life with unnecessary debt and financial constraints is not healthy.

Others have offered suggestions -- push the date back or have a smaller wedding (People WILL understand)... Remember, as much as many of us dream of having the perfect wedding, what's important is the MARRIAGE, not the wedding. I know you're bummed, but focus on marrying the man of your dreams (and starting your marriage in a good place) instead of the party. I realize that's easier said than done, but focusing on what is really important may help. You still have your man.

Were you planning a church ceremony? Why not just have the ceremony and have close family and friends (the BP) to a dinner afterwards?

Good luck!

Kara said it best, I completely agree with what she has to say. Just keep it small afterwards and definately do not go into debt!

MJDoc12 Posted: Apr 26, 2007 12:48 PM

Re: we might have to canel the wedding!

Posted by Kara and Todd

I'm so sorry to hear this.

However, DO NOT go into debt to pay for your wedding. If you can't afford to save enough for it in the first place, you can't afford loan payments. Starting out married life with unnecessary debt and financial constraints is not healthy.

Others have offered suggestions -- push the date back or have a smaller wedding (People WILL understand)... Remember, as much as many of us dream of having the perfect wedding, what's important is the MARRIAGE, not the wedding. I know you're bummed, but focus on marrying the man of your dreams (and starting your marriage in a good place) instead of the party. I realize that's easier said than done, but focusing on what is really important may help. You still have your man.

Were you planning a church ceremony? Why not just have the ceremony and have close family and friends (the BP) to a dinner afterwards?

Good luck!

Took the words right outta my mouth. DO NOT take a loan out for the wedding---or else you will start your marriage out with 2 strikes against you, and in debt. Long term, the debt that will take years to pay off will not be worth it. (The idea sounds good when u first think about it, cause you want the wedding so bad.)

I would let your hall know ASAP that you might be having problems with paying things off. Cause in reality, the contract you signed says you must pay them the entire balance, and depending on the staff at your hall, they might just say 'tough luck, you owe us'

You have 2 real options:

1)postpone the wedding for a time when you can afford it. be it a few months or a year

2)scale back as much as you can and have something smaller

Good luck!

Aug07OFCbride Posted: Apr 26, 2007 02:37 PM

Re: we might have to canel the wedding!

Posted by Trishthedish

Posted by Kara and Todd

I'm so sorry to hear this.

However, DO NOT go into debt to pay for your wedding. If you can't afford to save enough for it in the first place, you can't afford loan payments. Starting out married life with unnecessary debt and financial constraints is not healthy.

Others have offered suggestions -- push the date back or have a smaller wedding (People WILL understand)... Remember, as much as many of us dream of having the perfect wedding, what's important is the MARRIAGE, not the wedding. I know you're bummed, but focus on marrying the man of your dreams (and starting your marriage in a good place) instead of the party. I realize that's easier said than done, but focusing on what is really important may help. You still have your man.

Were you planning a church ceremony? Why not just have the ceremony and have close family and friends (the BP) to a dinner afterwards?

Good luck!

I am sorry to hear of all this.

I firmly agree with Kara. If my parents were not paying for my reception hall, and FH's parents helping out with some of the vendors, I would never be able to have a wedding. I could not imagine putting myself in debt for 1 day. I personally would get married on an island if I had no choice and just have close family and extremely close friends with me. If that was not an option, I would have a ceremony at my church and have a lunch or dinner afterwards.

In the end, like Kara said, at least you have the love of your life.

totally agree w/ these posts!! im so sorry youre having to deal w/ this

CrisiDrue Posted: Apr 26, 2007 04:23 PM

Re: updated:we might have to canel the wedding!

That's so wonderful to hear!!! I'm glad everything worked out.......Yay! You're still an August bride!!!

Kara and Todd Posted: Apr 26, 2007 04:25 PM

Re: updated:we might have to canel the wedding!

Just read the update - that's great news!

Congrats!

Starwend Posted: Apr 26, 2007 04:33 PM

Re: updated:we might have to canel the wedding!

That's great that everything worked out!!

Bridex100 Posted: Apr 26, 2007 04:59 PM

Re: updated:we might have to canel the wedding!

glad everything worked out.

robynci1 Posted: Apr 26, 2007 05:46 PM

Re: updated:we might have to canel the wedding!

Oh, Thank Goddess, I was so sad for you, and now I am so happy for you.....Congrats....

ourday08 Posted: Apr 26, 2007 06:18 PM

Re: updated:we might have to canel the wedding!

I'm glad everything worked out!!!!!

kam0813 Posted: Apr 26, 2007 06:38 PM

Re: updated:we might have to canel the wedding!

i'm so happy to hear that it's worked itself out...you have a wonderful family! congrats!

dancerandchef Posted: Apr 26, 2007 07:52 PM

Re: updated:we might have to canel the wedding!

We are very happy that everything is going to work out!!! Congratulations and Best Wishes!!!

~dancer and chef~

danielle19755 Posted: Apr 26, 2007 07:57 PM

Re: updated:we might have to canel the wedding!

im glad it worked out!!

Tori9299 Posted: Apr 26, 2007 08:09 PM

Re: updated:we might have to canel the wedding!

Thank god it all worked out.

angl2001 Posted: Apr 26, 2007 08:14 PM

Re: updated:we might have to canel the wedding!

what about looking into a lower cost hall? maybe cut the guest list? there are so many things you can do to cut down your price and make it more reasonable to what you can afford! we are cutting corners anyway we can!! we have saved about $7,000 already! you can do it!! just a little and youll figure something out! :)
hope it all works out!