Upset and Confused ( very long) - UPDATE in OP

I need to vent and get some advice ladies .

So some of you may know that I own my 1 bedroom co-op apt. in Forest Hills. FH owns his house but it's really his mother's house, he built an apt. in the basement before himself before we even started dating, so it was more of a bachelor pad. After Fh and I got engaged we decided that I'd sell my place and move out to Farmgville, since he really couldn't sell his place. We would live in his basement apt. and save aggressively for another house.

Now I've had my issues with moving out there: 1 - comute is longer, 2 - his sister who lives elsewhere with her boyfriend and baby comes over everyday in the morning when she gets off work and in the evening before she goes to work to smoke like an effing chimney, which then that seeps down to the basement apt. I was just going to suck it up and live there and save aggressivley as I said before...enough so we could easily afford two small mortgages which is what we would end up with.

Well my apt. went into contract in early June after going through two other buyers who were crazy we finally found one that we thought was good. Well today I found out the co-op board denied the buyer and ofcourse they don't have to explain why. He had great income made over $75K...so don't know their reasoning.

I don't know what to do now. I have a couple of options but I'm so confused. I'm mostly confused because I'm a contractor at the company I work for right now, so it's not a permanent position. Should they let go of me or not renew my contract FH cannot handle both mortgages on his teacher's salary, not to mention that I make more than he does.

My options are:
1 - Start from square one with the selling process - just not sure if I'd get a buyer because of the economic uncertainties that their are right now in the U.S.

2 - Sublet my apt., which I'm allowed to do - My only thought on that is that I relaly don't want to be a landlord because my parents were and we had such bad experiences.

3 - FH and I will Live in the apt. 5 days a week and then just go out to LI on the weekends - FH is keen on this one if I keep my apt., but it makes it hard to save for a house. Also this one is highly dependant on my job situation because I would be carrying this mortgage.

I just needed to write this all down and just vent. I'm so confused and it *****.. I'm also feeling now like we should've had a much more scaled down wedding or waited longer because of all of this. I also feel like I s u c k for not having a permanent position and being up in the air like this. I just have a ton of emotions I'm going through right now.

Thanks for reading.

******UPDATE******
FH and I had a long talk last night and in the end we've decided to live in my apt. now and possibly sell in another 2-3 years when it's time for us to upgrade. Should my job situation change then we would just try to sublet it. We both agreed it was a blessing in disguise that my apt. didn't sell considering the issues I had with living in his basement apt. and his smoking sister always being over, etc.

I'm very happy about remaining in Queens.

thats a tough situation.. FH can't move into your apt?

i would sublet it for the time being and see how your commute is.. maybe somewhere down the line you can both move to a more central location?

---

Posted by Karen9508

thats a tough situation.. FH can't move into your apt?

i would sublet it for the time being and see how your commute is.. maybe somewhere down the line you can both move to a more central location?

---

FH likes the option of us living in my apt. 5 days a week and on LI on the weekend...it's just my job situation that scares me because if it goes then we're really screwed because he can't handle both mortgages.

Subletting seems like it might be it to ease the financial burden...but the catch with subletting is that the person that I'd sublet to would have to pass the board as well...which is good and bad. Good because they get throroughy screened...bad because they could be rejected like my buyer.

aww that *****, why can't FH live with you in your apt?

---

Posted by fujamaga

aww that *****, why can't FH live with you in your apt?

---

It's not that FH can't move to my place....commute wise it's better for us. As I explained above it's the financial situation. I'm a contracted employee at the company I work at right now, so there is no security. Fh has the mortgage on his house and wouldn't be able to handle both mortagages should something happen with my job.

He actually preferes to move into my place and live here 5 days a week and the weekend on LI. It's just he finances.

I was going to say the same thing....have FH move into your place with you. If you really want to sublet, maybe there is a gal on LIW that would need a place? At least you know the people here... Good luck whatever you decide.

i know renting is a tuff situation but if you find the right person you might be ok. maybe you can leave a few posts on here someone might know someone.

---

Posted by bluekat16

I need to vent and get some advice ladies .

So some of you may know that I own my 1 bedroom co-op apt. in Forest Hills. FH owns his house but it's really his mother's house, he built an apt. in the basement before himself before we even started dating, so it was more of a bachelor pad. After Fh and I got engaged we decided that I'd sell my place and move out to Farmgville, since he really couldn't sell his place. We would live in his basement apt. and save aggressively for another house.

Now I've had my issues with moving out there: 1 - comute is longer, 2 - his sister who lives elsewhere with her boyfriend and baby comes over everyday in the morning when she gets off work and in the evening before she goes to work to smoke like an effing chimney, which then that seeps down to the basement apt. I was just going to suck it up and live there and save aggressivley as I said before...enough so we could easily afford two small mortgages which is what we would end up with.

Well my apt. went into contract in early June after going through two other buyers who were crazy we finally found one that we thought was good. Well today I found out the co-op board denied the buyer and ofcourse they don't have to explain why. He had great income made over $75K...so don't know their reasoning.

I don't know what to do now. I have a couple of options but I'm so confused. I'm mostly confused because I'm a contractor at the company I work for right now, so it's not a permanent position. Should they let go of me or not renew my contract FH cannot handle both mortgages on his teacher's salary, not to mention that I make more than he does.

My options are:
1 - Start from square one with the selling process - just not sure if I'd get a buyer because of the economic uncertainties that their are right now in the U.S.

2 - Sublet my apt., which I'm allowed to do - My only thought on that is that I relaly don't want to be a landlord because my parents were and we had such bad experiences.

3 - Live in the apt. 5 days a week and then just go out to LI on the weekends - FH is keen on this one if I keep my apt., but it makes it hard to save for a house. Also this one is highly dependant on my job situation because I would be carrying this mortgage.

I just needed to write this all down and just vent. I'm so confused and it *****.. I'm also feeling now like we should've had a much more scaled down wedding or waited longer because of all of this. I also feel like I s u c k for not having a permanent position and being up in the air like this. I just have a ton of emotions I'm going through right now.

Thanks for reading.

---

well income isn't the only thing that a co-op board looks at. They also look at your credit score so even if he was making over $75k he could've had bad credit. Also another thing they do is they dont just like at it as ok you make $80k lets say and then think ok you can afford it, they take that 80K look at how much debt he has and then subtract that debt from the income, so if he was making $80 but was in debt for $40k lets say then they'll see it as after debt he has $40k so he won't be able to afford the place.

Its hard right now with the market but definitely stay with trying to sell it, you don't want to be stuck with 2 mortgages. Its very discouraging right now trust me i know, we've been going through so much BS the past few months and there are times you just want to say forget it but in the end it will work out. Put your apt on craigslist if you haven't already, have an open-house.

That really *****. It is a buyers market and for them to be that picky now is even harder on you.

I would see if you can talk to anyone on the board for your apt. It is really troubling that they denied the buyer without giving you a reason. They should really to validate why, at the very least you need to know what is the determining factor. Nor can they block someone on frivolous or prejudicial factors.
Because even if you sublet you apartment, your end goal is to sell.

Good luck. That is why I am going to avoid anything that needs board approval to sell. I hate being told what to do

the other option, if possible, would be if he could rent out his apartment & stay in your apt? I know he wants to go to LI on the weekend, but maybe you guys can visit on the weekends & cut cost that way. Plus with work commute being shorter you can save on gas & etc?

---

Posted by Espo22

---

Posted by bluekat16

I need to vent and get some advice ladies .

So some of you may know that I own my 1 bedroom co-op apt. in Forest Hills. FH owns his house but it's really his mother's house, he built an apt. in the basement before himself before we even started dating, so it was more of a bachelor pad. After Fh and I got engaged we decided that I'd sell my place and move out to Farmgville, since he really couldn't sell his place. We would live in his basement apt. and save aggressively for another house.

Now I've had my issues with moving out there: 1 - comute is longer, 2 - his sister who lives elsewhere with her boyfriend and baby comes over everyday in the morning when she gets off work and in the evening before she goes to work to smoke like an effing chimney, which then that seeps down to the basement apt. I was just going to suck it up and live there and save aggressivley as I said before...enough so we could easily afford two small mortgages which is what we would end up with.

Well my apt. went into contract in early June after going through two other buyers who were crazy we finally found one that we thought was good. Well today I found out the co-op board denied the buyer and ofcourse they don't have to explain why. He had great income made over $75K...so don't know their reasoning.

I don't know what to do now. I have a couple of options but I'm so confused. I'm mostly confused because I'm a contractor at the company I work for right now, so it's not a permanent position. Should they let go of me or not renew my contract FH cannot handle both mortgages on his teacher's salary, not to mention that I make more than he does.

My options are:
1 - Start from square one with the selling process - just not sure if I'd get a buyer because of the economic uncertainties that their are right now in the U.S.

2 - Sublet my apt., which I'm allowed to do - My only thought on that is that I relaly don't want to be a landlord because my parents were and we had such bad experiences.

3 - Live in the apt. 5 days a week and then just go out to LI on the weekends - FH is keen on this one if I keep my apt., but it makes it hard to save for a house. Also this one is highly dependant on my job situation because I would be carrying this mortgage.

I just needed to write this all down and just vent. I'm so confused and it *****.. I'm also feeling now like we should've had a much more scaled down wedding or waited longer because of all of this. I also feel like I s u c k for not having a permanent position and being up in the air like this. I just have a ton of emotions I'm going through right now.

Thanks for reading.

---

well income isn't the only thing that a co-op board looks at. They also look at your credit score so even if he was making over $75k he could've had bad credit. Also another thing they do is they dont just like at it as ok you make $80k lets say and then think ok you can afford it, they take that 80K look at how much debt he has and then subtract that debt from the income, so if he was making $80 but was in debt for $40k lets say then they'll see it as after debt he has $40k so he won't be able to afford the place.

Its hard right now with the market but definitely stay with trying to sell it, you don't want to be stuck with 2 mortgages. Its very discouraging right now trust me i know, we've been going through so much BS the past few months and there are times you just want to say forget it but in the end it will work out. Put your apt on craigslist if you haven't already, have an open-house.

---

Thank you Denise for the encouraging words. My realtor already wants to have an open house this Sat.

I'm just baffled..his income wasn't only good, he also had better credit scores than what I had when i bought the apt. I looked over his income taxes for the last two years and he was pretty solid. My only thoughts are the he was young 26 and that he had just switched jobs. Even though I had just switched jobs when I bought the apt. Different market though 2006 to now......they're probably being more cautious.

---

Posted by Celest

the other option, if possible, would be if he could rent out his apartment & stay in your apt? I know he wants to go to LI on the weekend, but maybe you guys can visit on the weekends & cut cost that way. Plus with work commute being shorter you can save on gas & etc?

---

it totally is a buyer market and them being soo picky does make it all the harder.

One of our options after saving aggressively was to possibly move back to queens but buy a 2 bedroom because it is much easier on both our commutes.

That's a good idea about him renting the apt. in LI...I'll have to mention it to him.

My situation isn't exactly like yours but suffice it to say I feel like i'm living in limbo as well and my job is not secure and my office moving 15 miles further as of next week

so while I do not have any real advice for you, I do have sympathy and a ton of and

---

Posted by bluekat16

---

Posted by Espo22

---

Posted by bluekat16

I need to vent and get some advice ladies .

So some of you may know that I own my 1 bedroom co-op apt. in Forest Hills. FH owns his house but it's really his mother's house, he built an apt. in the basement before himself before we even started dating, so it was more of a bachelor pad. After Fh and I got engaged we decided that I'd sell my place and move out to Farmgville, since he really couldn't sell his place. We would live in his basement apt. and save aggressively for another house.

Now I've had my issues with moving out there: 1 - comute is longer, 2 - his sister who lives elsewhere with her boyfriend and baby comes over everyday in the morning when she gets off work and in the evening before she goes to work to smoke like an effing chimney, which then that seeps down to the basement apt. I was just going to suck it up and live there and save aggressivley as I said before...enough so we could easily afford two small mortgages which is what we would end up with.

Well my apt. went into contract in early June after going through two other buyers who were crazy we finally found one that we thought was good. Well today I found out the co-op board denied the buyer and ofcourse they don't have to explain why. He had great income made over $75K...so don't know their reasoning.

I don't know what to do now. I have a couple of options but I'm so confused. I'm mostly confused because I'm a contractor at the company I work for right now, so it's not a permanent position. Should they let go of me or not renew my contract FH cannot handle both mortgages on his teacher's salary, not to mention that I make more than he does.

My options are:
1 - Start from square one with the selling process - just not sure if I'd get a buyer because of the economic uncertainties that their are right now in the U.S.

2 - Sublet my apt., which I'm allowed to do - My only thought on that is that I relaly don't want to be a landlord because my parents were and we had such bad experiences.

3 - Live in the apt. 5 days a week and then just go out to LI on the weekends - FH is keen on this one if I keep my apt., but it makes it hard to save for a house. Also this one is highly dependant on my job situation because I would be carrying this mortgage.

I just needed to write this all down and just vent. I'm so confused and it *****.. I'm also feeling now like we should've had a much more scaled down wedding or waited longer because of all of this. I also feel like I s u c k for not having a permanent position and being up in the air like this. I just have a ton of emotions I'm going through right now.

Thanks for reading.

---

well income isn't the only thing that a co-op board looks at. They also look at your credit score so even if he was making over $75k he could've had bad credit. Also another thing they do is they dont just like at it as ok you make $80k lets say and then think ok you can afford it, they take that 80K look at how much debt he has and then subtract that debt from the income, so if he was making $80 but was in debt for $40k lets say then they'll see it as after debt he has $40k so he won't be able to afford the place.

Its hard right now with the market but definitely stay with trying to sell it, you don't want to be stuck with 2 mortgages. Its very discouraging right now trust me i know, we've been going through so much BS the past few months and there are times you just want to say forget it but in the end it will work out. Put your apt on craigslist if you haven't already, have an open-house.

---

Thank you Denise for the encouraging words. My realtor already wants to have an open house this Sat.

I'm just baffled..his income wasn't only good, he also had better credit scores than what I had when i bought the apt. I looked over his income taxes for the last two years and he was pretty solid. My only thoughts are the he was young 26 and that he had just switched jobs. Even though I had just switched jobs when I bought the apt. Different market though 2006 to now......they're probably being more cautious.

---

who knows what happened but like i said it had to be something...my Dh makes good money, has good credit BUT his debt to income ratio wasnt that great. So at first what you see is oh ok great he makes good money, his credit score is good, he hasnt had a late payment on credit cards in over 2 years and it was like 5 years ago he only had 1. Problem is that he still had half of his school loans, he had cc's, but we also didnt know he had cc's on there that were closed from years ago, or cc's that were his parents but he had a joint card but this was years ago. We fixed all that and hes paid off his debt. But looking just at income and credit score you would think he was in perfect shape. At first mortgage brokers were like oh ok you'll have no problem, he even had a good 401k so liquid assets were good and his company invests money for them elsewhere. So you never know...like you said this guy was 26 so hes fairly young, he might have alot in school loans or something. We've had to go through so much now just bc of the whole debt to income ratio, Dh paid off most of it...if it was based on just income and credit score it would've been perfect.

They are so strict now, they say its a buyers market but honestly its really not. I bought my current apt in 2004, the process was so easy and went so quickly. If it wasnt for the market being the way it is now we would've been done with this a long time ago, i hate this D*MN market. Theres even new rules that didnt exist and even someone else who was in mortgages was surprised when i told them. WE have a mortgage approved and have for a while, we're waiting to get approved for PMI, this is new before once you were approved for a mortgage you were automatically approved for the insurance, now theres a new separate process just to get this and it goes through a computer so even 1 point off will screw you over.

Sorry hon! I am sure it will all work out- hang in there!

---

Posted by bluekat16

---

Posted by Celest

the other option, if possible, would be if he could rent out his apartment & stay in your apt? I know he wants to go to LI on the weekend, but maybe you guys can visit on the weekends & cut cost that way. Plus with work commute being shorter you can save on gas & etc?

---

it totally is a buyer market and them being soo picky does make it all the harder.

One of our options after saving aggressively was to possibly move back to queens but buy a 2 bedroom because it is much easier on both our commutes.

That's a good idea about him renting the apt. in LI...I'll have to mention it to him.

---

Cool. The option of buying an apartment may work for you.

But I know what you are saying about his apartment situation. & you will be super cranky dealing with all those factors PLUS a longer commute. Plus I don't care what anyone says.. it is tough when you first live with someone, learning their ins & outs..
Best to have a fighting chance & have the best situation & more space. Maybe he'll be open to renting the basement out, plus with his family around, plus he is around, they can keep an close eye on the apartment & the tenants. Maybe someone in the family needs an apartment?